Any 1st time moms wonder how the can ever be a 2nd time mom?

les&jus · December 2009

I love being a mother to my little girl, despite the challenges I am faced with. But, I feel like my dreams of having more children may not come true. It is so hard to picture all that I am doing right now, while having another child to take care of. Right now, I have no desire to have another baby anytime soon, even though when I was pregnant I thought I wanted the "2 under 2." I am afraid that if I have another baby, it would be for selfish reasons and I wouldn't be able to mother two children to the best of my ability. Does anyone else feel the same way?

sept14 · December 2009

At times right now I am not even sure I want to be a Mom at all. I can't even really think about other kids yet. I always had said I wanted at least 3.

farrellashleigh · December 2009

Oh gosh yes! At my worst funk 'pre meds' I was wandering around looking at everyone in public that had children and kept thinking "HOW in the hell does anyone have children?? How did they do this??!!" It was like this crazy thought that having kids is sooooooo hard so how in the world does anyone survive!

I'm feeling much better about it now after my meds, I can actually envision having another child although I think it will be later than I had originally thought because I want to make sure I get through this first one as best as I can before jumping into another one. I had originally wanted 5... haaa 5 kids!! And I would've been ecstatic to have been pregnant within 6 mos of having this one... my thoughts have definitely changed now! But I'm glad that my mood is good enough now that I can stop saying that we are never having another kid! I know DH is relieved too.

nicole&carl · December 2009

I do wonder that, too! I I am having a hard enough time with one, I couldn't even imagine being pregnant now and chasing a 1yr old around. I always said I wanted 3 kids, but I am completely fine having 2...eventually.

sam19 · December 2009

I'm afraid of going through this all again. it took me until natalie was 2 months before I could say that I wanted another child. I also plan on waiting about 2 or 3 years before getting pregnant again. I can barely handle Natalie now so I know there is no way I could handle 2 under 2. After all we have been through my husband says no more children but I do think he will change his mind when things start going better.

TommysGirl56 · December 2009

I want 4 babies...I always dreamed about having a big happy family. I still want this, and I am so afraid it won't happen because of me. I fear that I don't deserve more kids because the first one is turning out to be such a struggle. I hope I can recover from this and feel differently, but I just don't know. I am afraid of it happenning again with the next baby, and that would not be fair to anyone.

juliane2004 · December 2009

Yeah, I always said I wanted a lot of kids, like 5-7, but if you had asked me 1 week after my DD was born, I would have said NO to any more kids. Even now, it's only on good days that I think I might want another.

les&jus · December 2009

farrellashleigh:

Oh gosh yes! At my worst funk 'pre meds' I was wandering around looking at everyone in public that had children and kept thinking "HOW in the hell does anyone have children?? How did they do this??!!" It was like this crazy thought that having kids is sooooooo hard so how in the world does anyone survive!

I'm feeling much better about it now after my meds, I can actually envision having another child although I think it will be later than I had originally thought because I want to make sure I get through this first one as best as I can before jumping into another one. I had originally wanted 5... haaa 5 kids!! And I would've been ecstatic to have been pregnant within 6 mos of having this one... my thoughts have definitely changed now! But I'm glad that my mood is good enough now that I can stop saying that we are never having another kid! I know DH is relieved too.

Oh, yes, this was me, too. We both wanted to have 5. DH changed his mind right away when I got pregnant. I think he didn't want to have to hear me complain about morning sickness for what, 4 kids x 9 mos = 3 years total! Ha! We then narrowed it down to 2 kids....but now I just feel like my depression causes me to not be a good enough mother to one baby, so I am definately not good enough to be a mom to two. I guess it is just something you get over, like how hard labor was!

les&jus · December 2009

TommysGirl56:
I want 4 babies...I always dreamed about having a big happy family. I still want this, and I am so afraid it won't happen because of me. I fear that I don't deserve more kids because the first one is turning out to be such a struggle. I hope I can recover from this and feel differently, but I just don't know. I am afraid of it happenning again with the next baby, and that would not be fair to anyone.

This is how I feel, like I would want more kids just for my own agenda and that it wouldn't be fair to them.

StephB25 · December 2009

Mia is almost 3 mos...I can't imagine having another child EVER. I always wanted a big family. Maybe it will get better. Maybe if I get back on meds. I am still fighting that my mood is PPD, but...

StephB25 · December 2009

sept14:

At times right now I am not even sure I want to be a Mom at all. I can't even really think about other kids yet. I always had said I wanted at least 3.

THIS!

Useonfire · December 2009

I feel like I'm not even able to be a halfway decent mom right now and can't possibly envision more children. I am not even sure if DH and I will survive this. I feel like I have the worst case of PPD imaginable. It's so awful. DH and DS are away with MIL (have been all week) until Sunday, and I don't miss any of them. I feel like a terrible person. So, therefore, I can't imagine having any more children and possibly ruining their lives as well.

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