Jealousy?

hlvonb

I have had baby cravings (I know that sounds strange) but I can NOT get babies / having a baby off my brain and I have caught myself getting jealous and sometimes even jelousy anger when I see someone (even those I don't know) who has a baby.

Anyone else get a bit jealous when they see someone with a baby?

Designermomma

Totally! I try to avoid places where babies would be cause I can't stand it sometimes.

hlvonb

Designermomma said:

Totally! I try to avoid places where babies would be cause I can't stand it sometimes.

@Designermomma

I wish I could avoid places but it would be near impossible. Especially since I work in a store by a mall and I work in Fine Jewelry so babies are a common part of my day.....

I am glad I am not alone in this feeling though lol

SLou24

I do get twinges of jealousy sometimes, I think it's normal and natural, especially if you are having trouble TTC or have been waiting for a long time! I honestly just make a conscious mental shift and try to make those feelings positive -- it sounds cheesy but it works for me. I try to interact with babies a lot to give myself that "fix", and any time jealousy creeps in I just have to remind myself that it will be my time when it's my time! Although I wish that time were now  

Xstatic3333

I think it's normal to an extent, but if it becomes all consuming look at ways you could work on that feeling-more hobbies, a TB break, hiding FB triggers, etc. Are you TTC currently or waiting?

hlvonb

SLou24 said:

I do get twinges of jealousy sometimes, I think it's normal and natural, especially if you are having trouble TTC or have been waiting for a long time! I honestly just make a conscious mental shift and try to make those feelings positive -- it sounds cheesy but it works for me. I try to interact with babies a lot to give myself that "fix", and any time jealousy creeps in I just have to remind myself that it will be my time when it's my time! Although I wish that time were now  

@SLou24

I keep telling myself it will happen before I know it (I hope) but I also interact with babies (if I know the parents) as well but I still get some jealousy lol

hlvonb

Xstatic3333 said:

I think it's normal to an extent, but if it becomes all consuming look at ways you could work on that feeling-more hobbies, a TB break, hiding FB triggers, etc. Are you TTC currently or waiting?

@Xstatic3333

DH and I are currently TTC so we will see how that goes.

lilylover27

@hlvonb I know exactly how you are feeling! I am the same exact way! DH and I have only been TTC since September but it feels like so long when I see all these babies/pregnancies popping up everywhere! I have taken up a whole mess of hobbies to try to keep me distracted but the thoughts always creep in! I think it is natural to get a little jealous at times, especially when it is something you are actively trying to get and cannot wait till it happens! I still interact with babies I see if I know the parents and still get the twinge of jealousy but as @slou24 said I try to just think my time will come when my time comes.

Sirius37

I feel you on the baby-cravings; I was hoping mine would calm down so I could focus on school more but two months later I don't think it's going anywhere. Guh. I can't say I've been hit with any jealous feelings yet though, mainly just wishing we could start TTC already. Perhaps it'll be different when we can finally start? In any case, do your best to keep distracted and good luck!

hlvonb

lilylover27 said:

@hlvonb I know exactly how you are feeling! I am the same exact way! DH and I have only been TTC since September but it feels like so long when I see all these babies/pregnancies popping up everywhere! I have taken up a whole mess of hobbies to try to keep me distracted but the thoughts always creep in! I think it is natural to get a little jealous at times, especially when it is something you are actively trying to get and cannot wait till it happens! I still interact with babies I see if I know the parents and still get the twinge of jealousy but as @slou24 said I try to just think my time will come when my time comes.

@lilylover27

It's hard especially when it seems like people who have been TTC for less time that DH and I or who weren't actively TTC have babies. I think that being able to interact with babies I know / know their parents helps with the jealousy feeling a little bit because I get some of my baby craving fix

hlvonb

Sirius37 said:

I feel you on the baby-cravings; I was hoping mine would calm down so I could focus on school more but two months later I don't think it's going anywhere. Guh. I can't say I've been hit with any jealous feelings yet though, mainly just wishing we could start TTC already. Perhaps it'll be different when we can finally start? In any case, do your best to keep distracted and good luck!

@Sirius37

Hopefully you won't get jealousy feelings because they suck but once you and you DH actively start TTC, beware they may start a little bit and if they do, we will be here to support you and listen to your rants and raves as well (just like we do now).

We = everyone on TB

BluesGal10

I'm with ya. We were one of the first in our circle to get married, but one of the last to have kids. Now most of our friends have at least one child, and on a trip home at Thanksgiving, we found out another was due this month with their second. We weren't ready financially until recently, but it's still annoying. I take a deep breath and remind myself that it just wasn't time for us, but there's a little voice in the back of my head that says "but, but, but..." 

hlvonb

schuette2 said:

I'm with ya. We were one of the first in our circle to get married, but one of the last to have kids. Now most of our friends have at least one child, and on a trip home at Thanksgiving, we found out another was due this month with their second. We weren't ready financially until recently, but it's still annoying. I take a deep breath and remind myself that it just wasn't time for us, but there's a little voice in the back of my head that says "but, but, but..." 

@schuette2

Yeah finances were / still are a big thing with DH and I. We wanted to make sure that we felt confident in where we were before TTC. We still have some credit cards that are higher than we care to admit but we're also making WAY over the minimum payment due amounts and are not struggling like we were for a while after we were married. It's a good feeling seeing things fall into place like we wanted. It sucks we had to wait but we know we and any child we might have will be better off for it. Sigh, being an adult sucks sometimes haha.

BluesGal10

Same here. 1 credit card, multiple school loans, car payments. We're making over the minimum on all of them, and I have them all set up on autopay through our bank. I just check the totals once every month and update the spreadsheet our budget is on. In our case, it doesn't help that all our friends knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, so they graduated faster. DH and I both changed our majors a few times, so we haven't been in the workforce as long as everyone else.

Yes, I agree - being an adult can royally suck sometimes.

Kay6519

I definitely feel the same way sometimes. DH and I are the last of my family to start TTC. All the other ladies in the family and our friends either have kids or are pregnant. I'm glad we waited until we were financially stable. Aside from a car payment, as of March we will be debt free. Plus DH has his dream job. It just sucks having to be an adult some days.

hlvonb

Someone told me today that DH and I are setting ourselves up for failure for having a child. How? Because we're focusing so much on making sure finances are in order.....

I couldn't help but laugh. 

Xstatic3333

hlvonb said:

Someone told me today that DH and I are setting ourselves up for failure for having a child. How? Because we're focusing so much on making sure finances are in order.....

I couldn't help but laugh. 

Yikes! Heaven forbid!

hlvonb

Xstatic3333 said:

Someone told me today that DH and I are setting ourselves up for failure for having a child. How? Because we're focusing so much on making sure finances are in order.....

I couldn't help but laugh. 

Yikes! Heaven forbid!

@Xstatic3333

Lol yeah. My parents made sure their finances were in order before having kids and also made sure (again) that finances were in order before adopting me. So according to this person's logic, my parents set themselves up for failure twice. Haha. I'd say they did a hell of a job though (raising us kids). Heck everyone I know who made sure finances were in order first (as best they can) did / are doing a hell of a job raising their kids. 

All I can do is shake my head and laugh to myself about this person's logic / comment.

lovesclimbing

I wouldn't say I get jealous, but I do get much stronger "I want a baby" feelings when I'm around people with babies. We were at church the other week and two rows in front of us was a dad holding his two daughters during the singing. They looked to be about 4 and 6 or so. It was so cute, one in each arm, and I wanted a baby so bad and to see H like that.

hlvonb

@lovesclimbing

I totally get that. I see babies / little kids all the time in church which makes focusing on the service a bit hard now and then. Lol. Also the past couple days has been crazy in terms of this feeling because everyone is posting pictures of the babies for Christmas. AHHHH  lol