Anyone else surprised by friends' reactions to pregnancy?

Summer20 · December 2009

I have two very distinct group of friends - half are married and either pregnant or already have a baby, the other half are single and not even close to settling down. Of course, I expect the single friends to be less interested in the baby, ask fewer questions, etc. and I'm totally ok with that. However, I have been pleasantly surprised by how almost all of these friends have been super-excited and supportive so far. It's been really fun seeing their excitement.

All except my "best" friend. She has barely even asked how things are going in the past 6 months. Every time we talk (which is rare these days) all I hear about is her life and her problems. I honestly can't remember the last time she initiated us hanging out. I know she's single and not really thinking about babies, but this is someone who was like a sister to me, we've known each other for 25 years now. I just can't believe she could be so self-absorbed as to not even care about this baby at all.

Sorry, this got so long... is anyone else going through something similar? I'm just really hurt that everyone I know seems so excited about this baby except one of the people who I should be the closest to...WTH?

MamaMandaW · December 2009

Maybe she's secretly jealous that you have your "life together" and she is still single??

RickeyandDani · December 2009

I can completely relate, except it's with my sisters......who BOTH have lots of children. My sisters are 12 and 13 years older then I am and neither have called me ONCE to see how the baby and I are doing. These are the same 2 sisters whom I babysat all my 9 nephews and nieces. It does hurt when the people you want the support from can't do it.

On another note, but still relative.....when my DH had been deployed to Iraq, I experienced similar things. I thought my closest friends would have had the common decency to ask me how my DH is and how I am doing, but it was always about their boy problems. I think when people can't personally relate to what you are going through, and they aren't complete extroverts, they can seem disappointing in the support department.

Have you thought about next time you talk to her let her know that you are tired and really don't have the emotional room for her stuff as you are about have a baby and that's taking up so much of yourself. Tell her how you feel. Maybe she just needs to hear it.

chef'swife · December 2009

My BFF is like this, but for her it started about the time I started planning my wedding and has gotten worse. We grew up together and remained close friends after college. I have only talked to her a few times during my pregnancy, always me initiating contact. It sucks, because we were so close once. But, I am greatful that my other friends are all so supportive and interested in everything. I guess we have just grown apart.

sarajo317 · December 2009

I could have wrote this post..

Summer20 · December 2009

Thanks for the replies, girls. It makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one with an unsupportive BFF. I think at this point we may have just finally reached a place where we're too far apart in our lives to qualify as BFFs. It's sad though, isn't it?

babydragonsister · December 2009

Just wanted to give you another perspective, b/c about 7 yrs ago, I did this to my best friend and had no idea....We were in our mid-20s and I didn't really understand what she was going through or how to be there for her. I was going through a bunch of stuff myself at the time and was so self-centered...she finally told me exactly how she felt and I was so surprised, but I shaped up!! Be honest, talk to her about it....

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