Trying for #2?

June4bride2be · December 2009

We are coming up on 6mos, which is what my OB said to wait before we gave it a shot. I have only had 1 pp af, and that was in Oct.

As you know, we nearly jumped through hoops to get pregnant with Ryan. It may not happen ever, it may take just as long, it may happen right away....who knows! I am not "young", and we do want at least 1 more babe.

If we got pregnant right away, they would be 16 mos apart.....close but do-able. I am scared of being really sick again and having a hard time taking care of my boy. I am scared I will have to stop bf'ing earlier than planned (1yr). I am scared I won't have the time and energy for Ryan and ruin his babyhood. It also scares me that R was so easy as a newborn, and healthy! What if #2 is not......there are so many fears!

Those who have 2 or are expecting #2.....are these feelings signs of not being ready, or just normal jitters? Kim.....you were/are still bf'ing C when you got pregnant, right? I know he eats regular food, but do you know of anyone who was pregnant and still bf'd a baby under 1 yr?

JenJar · December 2009

I'm not expecting #2 yet, but just thought I'd let you know I think those are normal jitters for anyone personally. I wanted to have my children close in age, and I know we could handle it, but unfortunately life got in the way.... we ended up moving to a new state, we're stuck in an apartment for the time being until we know where we're ending up, etc. If we were still at home, I think we would have already started TTC. But, I still wonder all the time about what it will be like to be pg with G running around, etc. Good luck with your decision, and hopefully it won't be as long of a journey the second time around!

ArcticFox · December 2009

We waited until DD was 2 years old, because we wanted her to be a little independent when I was preg. Sure enough I was sick as a dog and I basically layed on the floor and ran to the bathroom all day while she watched TV and played. There was nothing I could do! It was awful.

I understand your jitters! Totally normal.. but I hear you about having them close together... kudos if you can do it!

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · December 2009

June4bride2be:
It also scares me that R was so easy as a newborn, and healthy! What if #2 is not......there are so many fears!

That is DH's fear exactly. Justin was SUCH an easy newborn- he jumped right onto a schedule and honestly, there was only a few days where either of us suffered "lack of sleep".

I think you sound normal. From what I've seen on the baby boards, it seems like a lot of women who have trouble TTC #1, get pg very easily/unexpectantly with #2. I honestly believe that God won't give you more than you can handle. You can do it girl!

Cutemin · December 2009

I think there are advantages and disadvantages for every age when eing pg with #2. I got pg when Ty was 1 yr and 5M, of course I was sick. But the house was gated in a way he could be left alone for 5 minutes or so and be safe. I wasn't bfing anymore. I know people who could Bf while pg and I know some people who just couldn't for various reasons. I think it is one of those things you just don't know until it happens. I think the best thing for me about waiting until he was walking, was I didn't have to carry him very much while pg!

tmp-813143125004439 · December 2009

I really think it's normal jitters. You never know what's going to happen with both the pregnancy and the baby, and really, there's only one way to find out. You can try to figure out the what ifs until you're blue in the face and you'll probably worry yourself sick doing it.

I had a breeze of a pregnancy with Alexis, but my pregnancy with Emily was more difficult (put on bedrest for over 3 months, went into early labor at 20 weeks - but it all worked out in the end), but there was no way to know that was going to happen. You figure it all out as you go - just like raising the kids.

I can't help with the breastfeeding part since Alexis was 3 when I was pg with Em and I wasn't bfing anymore.

Telyco · December 2009

#2 wasn't planned for us - so I never was at the point of questioning whether it was a good time emotionally, physically, financially, etc. We were probably going try and space them about 2 yrs apart. Before kids - I actually wanted two under two...maybe a couple of sets of them! But after Evan, yeah well that changed and we planned on waiting a while.

But I really couldn't be happier now with the spacing. I haven't gone through any of this yet - but I think in many ways this is going to be easier than having our kids spaced further apart because even though older children don't need the baby care - they need so much emotional care and stimulation that I don't feel like i will have the time or energy for. Right now - Evan needs food, clean clothes and entertainment....but next year he will need more in terms of intellectual interaction - going to the kids museum and play groups, a lot more reading and learning and activities thought up and carried out by me. And in my case my newborn will be old enough to entertain herself for a while and I won't be as exhausted as I will be in the beginning.

I never had the feeling of ruining Evan's babyhood (other than minor regrets of being tired, etc.) because #1 - he is going to love having a sibling so close to his age because the sooner this baby is older the sooner he can resume his old life of going out shopping and visiting relatives and travelling, etc. and #2 - any subsequent children don't receive one on one attention from the beginning and they are perfectly happy and don't have abandonment issues or anything.

I can't speak as to the BFing aspect...but I do know people that BF while pregnant and also tandem BF after the new baby was born. It is totally doable...but obviously getting pregnant is a little easier once you have a regular cycle.

So anyway - yes, these are just jitters...and my opinion is to go for it and have fun! These years pass by so fast and all the planning in the world won't matter once you are though the infant stage. It'll be tough, but so worth it!

sunnygirl05 · December 2009

I am not still BFing, but I think your fears are very normal. I am about to have my 2nd any day now and I am still scared!!! I feel very strongly in the saying "you just make it work" and I know things will work out fine. I know it's going to be very very hard with an infant and 18 month old, but it'll all work out. As you know, we went through IF issues with Justin and then the 2nd was a total surprise! Although we were totally shocked and scared when we found out we were pregnant again, I'm actually so happy it turned out this way. Who knows how long it could have taken to get pg again had we waited for the "perfect time". And I'm glad they will be so close in age. I think my biggest thing has been feeling a little guilty that we are somehow taking away from Justin as he's been #1 all along and will now have to share the spotlight, though I know that's dumb.

Mrs_Hark · December 2009

June4bride2be:

It also scares me that R was so easy as a newborn, and healthy! What if #2 is not......

just wanted you to know that while we're not trying at all right now... and really haven't decided if we will in the future... this is one of my biggest 'cons' not to go for two- silly i know- there is no law that says #2 will be the total opposite of # 1 but that's what everyone says... sometimes i wish everyone would just keep their mouths shut! lol!

jewelsonu · December 2009

I think it is normal. In my head I want to get pregnant in Feb and have duece in Nov so I can have off for the holidays next year. Dh and I have agreed on this but I don't know if we are really ready. DH is 45 and that is our biggest reason for trying so soon. I also really love having my sister so close in age(15 months apart). But I can't imagine having anohter child and loving them as much as I love Ethan.

xKimx · December 2009

Yes, I'm still BFing Charlie (about 2x a day) and surprisingly I'm still making some milk- I thought for sure I would have dried up by now. Obviously its not a huge source of nutrition anymore though. I won't lie though- it HURTS. Almost feels like a bad case of thrush every time he nurses.

I was sick at the beginning of this pregnancy, and it was tough having such a mobile & active toddler to chase, but I must admit I used the TV for an hour or so once I got home from work so I could just crash on the couch for a bit.

I think you will be able to make it work no matter what the spacing. I think they all have their positives & negatives. You are such an amazing momma! Good luck with what ever you decide

June4bride2be · December 2009

Thank you all for the replies! I think we will just wing it.....starting NOW (well, not right now....that would be weird).

So exciting and scary.....yikes!

Want a personalized experience?

Trying for #2?

Re: Trying for #2?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards