- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Austin Babies
When does it stop being "baby behavior" and become "bratty behavior?"
DH and I started asking each other when it goes from one to the other tonight when he had J in the bathtub and he started screaming when I traded him the rubber duck for the pelican cup that I use to rinse his hair. We both feel that at 7 months, it's still just instinctive baby behavior, or maybe teething fussiness in his case tonight. I gave him the freakin pelican back, but I really did not like seeing him act like a potential brat.
When do you start addressing this stuff and teaching them to have patience or accept that they don't always get what they want? Now? At a year or later? He is generally a very happy baby, so I'm not worried, just wondering about this on a bigger level. Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: When does it stop being "baby behavior" and become "bratty behavior?"
I would venture to guess that last night's episode was probably teething-tired-fussiness, given his age. In my experience, DS started to act "bratty" at around 9-months, but it seemed to be mostly in response to our communication gap - he couldn't tell us what he wanted, and we didn't know what he wanted so he would get frustrated. It didn't last too long, and then all the signing we'd been teaching him started sinking in and our communication got SO much easier.
However, now at 17 months, and even for the past couple of months, DS does have his share of tantrums. The difference is that now it is clearly in response to us not letting him do something or have something that he wants. We try our best to be firm and consistent, and not give in to his tantrums. We have found that the "ignore it" advice is the most effective. We explain calmly why he can't have what he wants, and then we just don't engage him at all (don't even look at him) if he continues to act that way. It usually works and the tantrum is really pretty short-lived. He has also started hitting when he gets mad like that, so if he hits one of us, we firmly say "OUCH! Hitting hurts - we do not hit", and we put him in time out (our pedi told us at our 12-mo appt that we could/should start doing that even back then, just to get him used to the idea even though he wouldn't stay there for more than a second or 2). He does not like the time out at all, but it does seem to be working.
So, to answer your question, I don't think your DS is being "bratty" - at his age it's very likely something else that's bothering him (like teeth, tiredness, etc). While he's definitely too young for time out, and ignoring, I don't think it's too early to start practicing firmness (e.g., not giving in and giving the toy back if you really don't want him to have it) in preparation for future "real" tantrums, in the interest of remaining consistent.
When 3 Became 4
Did you give him transition time between the two objects? Much like how people say their baby cries/screams when picked up while playing with toys, you have to make sure you've given them fair warning "something is about to change!". They don't understand it quite as much at that age, but it's a good habit to get into as a parent. "Say bye bye to the Pelican cup! I'm going to give you the ducky now" or "Can we say Bye Bye?..." etc . You yourself wave and say Bye Bye and DC will pick it up eventually too. A nestie told me to do that and I really do feel it's helped A LOT over the last 2 years!! We'd say bye to the toys if we needed to head out the door and everything.
Does she always get what she wants? That depends. At this age, I calculate the chances she'll get over it and calm down in a reasonable amount of time based on the amount of freaking out she'll do. When she was younger, I would do my best to distract to change the focus of her attention from one object/activity to the next. Usually this was because I needed to get my keys back from her or somehting like that. I always remember that if it was something dangerous I had to take away from her, I wouldn't give in and give it back to her. Hence, I probably don't need to be too concerned I'm doing permanent psychological damage by depriving her of something I just don't want her to have anymore this second.
Babies love to give and receive. The first game Layna learned was Here you go! and Thank you! "Here go" is her first word, and she says it for everything
I don't think it can even be considered bratty behavior until well after the child's 3rd birthday. Selfish, non-sharing tantrums are the definition of a toddler.
9 months. I think they become more aware of the environment and their reactions to change and start learning how to react. I also totally agree with taytee about warning them when things change and learning what they need to keep from throwing fits.