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Rude Comment (long vent)

MissVioletMissViolet
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I usually do more lurking since I rarely have time to comment but?

 

Today I took the train into downtown with a fiend to do some Christmas shopping at an outdoor market. It was well below freezing this AM with a high of 36. Since we were going to be outside all day I dressed my son in a t-shirt, cardigan, jacket and hat. I also covered him in 2 thin blankets. This seems fine to me, I know he is going to be warm and snug while we are gone.

 

My friend looked at him and said ?Gee V, do you think he?ll be warm enough?? I can handle teasing and sarcasm as much as the next guy and was about to throw back the banter until she added, in a really rude tone wile rolling her eyes, ?God, your always so paranoid.?

 

I was quiet for a minute and just wondering why she would say something so rude. I then responding that I would rather him be a little warm, than too cold. Things were awkward and silent for about 10-20 minutes after that.

 

I wonder if she was just trying to make herself feel better by making my look bad? IMO her son was under dressed in only a shirt, sweater and thin blanket.

 

All I know is that if I am cold wearing a fleece and a winter jacket than my LO will be even colder since he is just sitting

 

Every time I see this girl she does/says something that makes me question why I even hang out with her.

Last time I saw her she gave me sh*t for comforting my DS who had just cracked his head really hard on a wood floor.

okay i feel better now that its out.

My husband is in Nepal for a week so I dont have him to vent to :(

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Re: Rude Comment (long vent)

  • DNK777DNK777 member
    Some people just suck.  FWIW I would've dressed DD the same.
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  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member
    So....why is she your friend? If all she does is bring you down, then stop hanging out with her. And tell her why.
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  • SymharmonySymharmony member

    imageemiliemadison:
    So....why is she your friend? If all she does is bring you down, then stop hanging out with her. And tell her why.

    I agree.  I don't understand why you would want to be friends with someone who said hurtful and judgmental comments to you. 

    imageDaisypath Happy Birthday tickers Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers imageimageimage
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  • MissVioletMissViolet

    imageemiliemadison:
    So....why is she your friend? If all she does is bring you down, then stop hanging out with her. And tell her why.

    I know, I keep telling myself "this is the last time" we have been friends for 7 years so it's hard to just pull the plug.

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  • vegetarian_chicavegetarian_chica
    imageMissViolet:

    imageemiliemadison:
    So....why is she your friend? If all she does is bring you down, then stop hanging out with her. And tell her why.

    I know, I keep telling myself "this is the last time" we have been friends for 7 years so it's hard to just pull the plug.

    I wanna give you the same advice, but I know it's hard to get rid of a toxic friend.

    Report Reply
  • htomeohtomeo member

    I must smother my son, compared to you. He goes out with sweater, turtleneck, jacket, thin blanket, and Pendleton wool blanket. LOL

    Maybe the next time the two of you have time to talk, address it with her. Let her know, it makes me feel bad when _____. She may be saying things without thinking about how it affects you. Give her a chance to redeem herself before you write her off. 

    Or, she just may be a douche , and does realize it. Then I would say "See ya".

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
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  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member

    I dumped my friend of 13 years when I finally realized that I was the only one in the friendship that was adding anything positive. She was so negative about everything, everything was about HER problems- and occasionally her good news- and nothing was ever about me. Ever. It had been weighing on me heavily for a while and I was trying to figure out exactly what to do about it.

    My sister ran into her and this friend basically critisized my parenting choices- TO my own sister. My DD was 3 months at the time and friend had only see us twice- briefly- since DD was born. She mentioned that I held DD too much and that I was "too focused on her needs" Indifferent

    I called the friend to confront her about what she'd said to my sister. I told her that she was very rude to have put my sister in a position of hearing her garbage, that her ideas about parenting were scary, and that I didnt think I could remain friends with someone who acted that way.

    It was as though I had said "Hey! I'm just calling to hear you talk and have nothing to say myself" because she basically cut me off at the end of my speech and launched into how annoyed she was at the paint color her boyfriend had picked for his kitchen. I hung up on her then, and never heard from her again. And boy, did it feel good to be rid of such a negative energy in my life!

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  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member
    And OMG, symharmony, sig overload. Please, for the love of Gingerbread, get rid of some of that clutter.
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  • MissVioletMissViolet
    imageemiliemadison:

    I dumped my friend of 13 years when I finally realized that I was the only one in the friendship that was adding anything positive. She was so negative about everything, everything was about HER problems- and occasionally her good news- and nothing was ever about me. Ever. It had been weighing on me heavily for a while and I was trying to figure out exactly what to do about it.

    My sister ran into her and this friend basically critisized my parenting choices- TO my own sister. My DD was 3 months at the time and friend had only see us twice- briefly- since DD was born. She mentioned that I held DD too much and that I was "too focused on her needs" Indifferent

    I called the friend to confront her about what she'd said to my sister. I told her that she was very rude to have put my sister in a position of hearing her garbage, that her ideas about parenting were scary, and that I didnt think I could remain friends with someone who acted that way.

    It was as though I had said "Hey! I'm just calling to hear you talk and have nothing to say myself" because she basically cut me off at the end of my speech and launched into how annoyed she was at the paint color her boyfriend had picked for his kitchen. I hung up on her then, and never heard from her again. And boy, did it feel good to be rid of such a negative energy in my life!

    my DH has been telling me to stop hanging out with her for months because he thinks she is "crazy."

    I gave up on the friendship a long time ago for many reasons and didnt see her for almost a year, but now that we have sons who are only 3 weeks apart we get together about once a month.

    I just need to say "No More!" lol and move on.

    it's going to be as awkward as breaking up with a highschool bfriend :)

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  • MissVioletMissViolet

    imageemiliemadison:
    And OMG, symharmony, sig overload. Please, for the love of Gingerbread, get rid of some of that clutter.

    I like my sig, thank you very muchStick out tongue

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  • MissVioletMissViolet
    imageMissViolet:

    imageemiliemadison:
    And OMG, symharmony, sig overload. Please, for the love of Gingerbread, get rid of some of that clutter.

    I like my sig, thank you very muchStick out tongue

    haha I thought you said sigharmony not "symharmony" and were talking to me lol

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  • DNK777DNK777 member

    imageemiliemadison:
    And OMG, symharmony, sig overload. Please, for the love of Gingerbread, get rid of some of that clutter.

    I agree.  Why do you need 2 breastfeeding tickers?

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  • JARbabyJARbaby member
    I think you should post more! Wink
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    imageMissViolet:

    I gave up on the friendship a long time ago for many reasons and didnt see her for almost a year, but now that we have sons who are only 3 weeks apart we get together about once a month.

    I have a friend, M, who said the same thing about a mutual "friend", J, who was really on her way out.  they were due w/ in just a few days of each other, and M was like "I kind of feel like I should reach out to her".

    Uh, my reaction to that is the same to you- both of you having kids doesn't mean that you, as PEOPLE, are going to get along any differently.  It's kind of like women who marry thinking "Oh- he'll change once we're married".

    I think motherhood actually makes some women even freakier than they were before!

    P.s. DS is a Declan too! :-)

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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