Would you choose your baby's gender if you could?

jenkm · December 2009

https://caffertyfile.blogs.cnn.com/2009/12/10/would-you-choose-your-child%E2%80%99s-gender/

Interesting article, got me thinking... My dh would definitely do it (he would like a girl after our 2 boys are born) but I'm not sure I feel right about it. For me, it has nothing to do with religion or anything, I just - I don't know - it seems weird? What do you think?

[Poll]

BamBam510 · December 2009

I voted yes, but this would be only if we had two girls 1st, then I would want to be sure the 3rd was a boy. Me and my husband both want a boy, and I'm okay with it if we don't ever have a girl since I'm not a girly girl, but my husband hunts, fishs, goes shooting, and all sorts of other manly stuff so I know he's very anxious to have a son to share those activities with which is why I would love to ensure we have a boy. If we have 2 boys, I'm okay with that and we will stop there and will not have a 3rd child to try and get a girl, even if we could be sure it was a girl.

ChristinaD09 · December 2009

I've taken a class solely on the ethics of reproductive technologies so I've found myself struggling with my feelings on these issues. I find it morally wrong to select your child's characteristics and gender selection likely to be the feared "slippery slope." Hot topic though!

christina1313 · December 2009

As much as I REALLY want a girl because I already have two boys, I still think it is up to God to decide the sex of my baby, not me.

trapani2be · December 2009

christina1313:
As much as I REALLY want a girl because I already have two boys, I still think it is up to God to decide the sex of my baby, not me.

Agreed.

jenkm · December 2009

ChristinaD09:
I've taken a class solely on the ethics of reproductive technologies so I've found myself struggling with my feelings on these issues. I find it morally wrong to select your child's characteristics and gender selection likely to be the feared "slippery slope." Hot topic though!

Yeah, this is my concern. Of course, that may be considererd hypocritical to some as we did IVF. We already have frozen embryos and were told we could choose what gender we transfer back if we want to next time. It just seems very sci-fi movie to me or something.

But then it also bleeds into the other obvious next steps... Would you choose an embryo with no DNA markers for cancer? Down's? Tri13? etc.

Interesting if nothing else.

MWoodside · December 2009

No, I am a firm believer that you get what you need.

Heididdles · December 2009

I wouldn't want that kind of control. I can be a planning perfectionist and I just wouldn't want to give myself the option because I can only imagine it would backfire at some point if it was YOUR decision. If you chose a boy, on days where he is messy and crazy you might regret your choice. I like not having the control and just letting God choose.

ChristinaD09 · December 2009

jenkm:

ChristinaD09:
I've taken a class solely on the ethics of reproductive technologies so I've found myself struggling with my feelings on these issues. I find it morally wrong to select your child's characteristics and gender selection likely to be the feared "slippery slope." Hot topic though!

Yeah, this is my concern. Of course, that may be considererd hypocritical to some as we did IVF. We already have frozen embryos and were told we could choose what gender we transfer back if we want to next time. It just seems very sci-fi movie to me or something.

But then it also bleeds into the other obvious next steps... Would you choose an embryo with no DNA markers for cancer? Down's? Tri13? etc.

I don't find the fact you had IVF to be hypocritical at all. The fact that you could choose the gender simply because you had IVF done does not mean that you have chosen to act upon your choices.

Whether to change to avoid genetic defects is a far more serious difficulty for me ethically. I could take the position that changes should only be permitted for "medical necessities" but then you are faced with yet another acting-like-God choice: what is a medical necessity? A person with Downs could live a (relatively) long and happy life. For other diseases, the child might live only a couple months, or a couple years. Hard calls, definitely.

But it's far more clear to me that changes based purely on "taste" should not be permissible (gender, eye color, intelligence, how muscular)

Eviebee · December 2009

No, and I think it should be illegal.

emily0829 · December 2009

I would.

TXTwisterBabe · December 2009

If we can afford it, and it's available, our next baby WILL be a girl. I freaking love science, and I'll use it when/if I can.

Dawley82 · December 2009

MWoodside:
No, I am a firm believer that you get what you need.

This!

ttimmerman · December 2009

I think it's up to God to decide for me. I would like a girl with this baby, but if I have a boy I feel like it's for a reason and what God wanted for me. If I wasn't religious and had 3 boys in a row and really wanted a girl, I don't know, I might feel differently. It could definitely be a slippery slope, though. Interesting topic.

KiwiJ · December 2009

I would.

Yet I know it's a terrible slippery slope and that, if this were legal, in some countries it would end up with pretty much all boys being born, which would really mess things up. But deep down I want a girl. Maybe not for this baby though - we think we're having a boy and I've now got my head around the idea and am looking forward to a boy.

emily0829 · December 2009

TXTwisterBabe:
If we can afford it, and it's available, our next baby WILL be a girl. I freaking love science, and I'll use it when/if I can.

E-hugging you.

Luv2dnce81 · December 2009

I am so looking forward to my baby boy, and can't wait to meet him. One day I would LOVE to have a girl though. If we had 2-3 boys in a row (I don't think I could do more than 3 or 4 kids(, I would definitely consider gender selection to ensure that my husband and I can also experience the joys of raising a daughter.?

Sept_Bride'07 · December 2009

no, it would never sit right with me. i'd always be thinking about the child i was supposed to have.

lite-bright · December 2009

Being pregnant with DD#2, I would definitely choose the gender of our next child if we end up having one -- we'd love to have a boy along with our girls.

tabitha6557 · December 2009

GREAT QUESTION!

DH told me the other day that he's worried I'll be disappointed if our baby is a girl, b/c I'm pretty keen on wanting a boy. I have two stepdaughters, and would love to have a son with my husband.

So, I really DON'T KNOW. But I think it's dangerous, and we'd end up with all boys in countries like China. However, is it better than the incredibly high late term abortion rates for girl babies in these countries. I think so.

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