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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Bloomiemom
member
Are girls REALLY that much harder than boys???
Bloomiemom
member
Ok, so maybe you don't know until you've had one of each, but my friend always complains about how poorly-behaved her DD is compared to my DS. She asks me parenting advice a lot. I always sort of took it as a complement to my DS, but now that I'm pregnant with a girl, her comments are taking on a "just you wait" tone. So, am I in for it in February? I think since I have one easygoing kid, I might just have another one.
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Re: Are girls REALLY that much harder than boys???
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i don't know what having a boy is like, but I think it idepends alot more on the kid, not their sex.
thats so weird. i read stories here and think "thank dog i have girls". even at aidan's preschool, the boys are always the ones in trouble.(not that thats the case everywhere, of course).
your friend has a badly behaved child. thats it.
I have always heard that boys are tougher when they're younger (I guess because some people say they are more rambunctious and tend to be more of a dare-devil), and then girls are tougher once they hit puberty.
I, however, have the easiest child ever. 2 of the girls in our play group are also way more rambunctious, so I think that theory is out the window.
I tend to agree with the pre-teen/teenage theory, though. I really think it would be harder to have a girl. I grew up as one of three girls, and we were rough on my parents, I know. ;p
110% agreed. Boy did I give my parents a run for their money. Not to mention the constant psychological warfare that junior high girls engage in. Not looking forward to that drama.
Nah. ?I'm getting that a lot too (also due with a girl in Feb.) and I think people are just using that as an excuse for poor parenting. ?My son is a good kid because he's been taught to be a good kid. ?Not that he's an angel, he certainly has his moments, but for the most part I think it's more about nurture than nature.
Until our girls are 13. ?Then we're just kind of screwed. ?;)?
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
Totally dependent on the kid. DS is a handful and while I think boys can tend to be more active at this age, I don't think they are easier or harder than girls. DS is just hyperactive and strong willed - that's his personality - which makes him a little bit more challenging to discipline. I know girls who are the same way. I know boys who are sweet and calm and girls who are angels.
People say girls are tougher as teenagers but I don't buy that either. I never gave my parents any trouble behind basic teenage moodiness and occasional rebellion. My brother, though, gave my parents a run for their money. He was always strong willed and got worse as a teenager. He and my mom were constantly arguing. My mom would tell you girls are way, way easier but that's just because of the personality differences between my bro and I.
i could have written this verbatim. i also think it's dependent on the child and how parents handle different personalities.
I have to say I really take exception to the people saying that your friend probably just isn't disciplining her kid or just has a bad behaving child. Of course parenting has a huge role in your kid's behavior, especially as they get older....but some kids are just more challenging. PERIOD. I have one.
It doesn't matter how strict you are or how great you discipline them, there are kids you are going to challenge you every step of the way and test every boundary you set up for them. Of course you have to keep them in check or these are the kids who become totally out of control teenagers, but some kids just act out more than others because that is their personality.
It's really easy to blame the parents when you see a challenging child when you have been blessed with a relatively easy child who learns quickly from discipline (and I know they all have their moments - but some have more than others).
I have one of each although DS is still very young. DS was a much easier baby than DD was. It is 100% easier to parent him than it ever was her.
I do have to say I am cracking up at the no my kids are good because i am a good parent posters. It is easy to be a good parent with a laid back child, not so much with a higher maintence one.
I agree that it's more the child than the gender.
I will say though that as a step-mom of an almost 15 yr old boy we are SAILING thru the teenage years in comparison to the girl Mommas. We have much less drama.
Hormones are not nice to girls during adolesence.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
um thats a toddler.
and having a challenging, head strong child does not mean that they are bad behaving. there's no excuse for that, imo. if you honestly believe that you have a "strong willed child" then there are books for disciplining and relating to that child. a kid who is constantly "bad" has discipline problems. end of story.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying that.
I think it's the child AND the parenting, not the gender.
This is really how I feel, I do worry about the teenage years, but not so much when my DD will be little--we'll have to commiserate when they hit 13
I also don't think my friend is a bad parent, but her DD is certainly more strong-willed than DS. I can certainly see how her DD"s behavior is naturally more challenging.
It's parenting + child.
My DS is pretty well behaved, but has A LOT of energy...and I mean A LOT.
My niece is the same age and is whiny and throws tantrums, but sits still.
My other niece is more like DS.
and my nephew is just all around a handful.
You never know.
I think it's mostly the parents and individual child, not sex.
My mother in particular spent way too much time hovering and controlling over me and I was a good kid to begin with. My younger brother was smoking/selling pot by 8th grade and no one even knew until he told us at 18 years old.
I'm assuming your friends DD is a toddler as well. I know as a mom of a more strong-willed toddler, I worry a lot that other parents think my kid is not well behaved. No one wants to be seen as the mom who can't control her kid, even when you know you are properly disciplining them and setting good boundaries. She's probably just using a bad choice of words by saying her daughter isn't well behaved. She's just more resistant to discipline and challenging (that's the term I use to describe DS). It's easy to look at kids who are more laid back and think "God, what am I doing wrong?" even though you know you are doing exactly what you need to.
she needs to research, bloomie.
some kids are bad-behaved and parents say "oh no no! they are strong willed!!" and some people are the opposite. your friend may be the opposite. structure, repetition, and prevention are a few of the keys for a strong willed child.
I felt the EXACT same way when I was pregnant with #2. DS #1 was very very challenging. I was terrified of having to juggle a newborn and my oldest. I felt very overwhelmed. I mean... things were only going to get worse when I had even less time to devote to the toddler, right?
I recommend the book: "Parenting the Strong Willed Child." It really really turned things around for us. Great tools that worked right away.
Is there a way you could recommend a book for her or would that offend her?
We just had a tough toddler hood with #1. Now that he's 3.5 he makes all of the boys that are our friends look like total undisciplined maniacs by comparison. Now that he's older and I'm using the right tools with him he's courteous, thoughtful and a joy to be around (most of the time - ***wink wink***).
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Definitely depends on the child. I have a DD (15 months old) and my brother has a DS 7 weeks younger. DD is definitely an easier child to deal with. She is a bit of a rascal and doesn't like to listen to no but she sleeps well, plays well, likes anyone. Brother's DS is very fussy and his parents jump at every whine or noise he makes.
So in conclusion, definitely depends on the child's temperament and the parenting style. (not saying that my parenting style is better than my brother's it just worked better with my daughter and he's had a difficult time finding what works for his son).
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I appreciate this, and I don't think she would take offense. Thanks for this suggestion.
First, I would tell her she is a good mom if you really believe that. I luckily have a MIL who raised my DH who was the exact same way. She tells me constantly that I am doing exactly what I need to (being firm, setting boundaries, being consistent with my discipline) and I am a good mom. My DH turned out to be a great kid - gave my ILs very few problems as a teenager and is a highly productive, successful adult. Thanks in great part to the fact that his mother did discipline him appropriately (and there is a fine line between properly reining in a hyper, strong willed child and destroying their sense of independence and spirit). It's nice to have someone who can commiserate with you. I know its just going to take more energy and consistent discipline to raise him in these early years. I would also encourage her to get some books on parenting a strong willed child. (And BTW I don't believe in bad behaving toddlers. They all exhibit bad behaviors at time. Some more than others. It doesn't mean you can ignore it when it happens but to label a toddler a "bad" kid is beyond ridiculous, IMO).