What comes over a new grandparent? I have witnessed such a transformation of my MIL. It truly is a frightening thing. I married her only son and now whenever she sees DS she gets this strange glint in her eye. It is as if we no longer exsist and she must have control over my child. We got along perfectly before this (married for 5 years been together for 10) and when we FINALLY ( in her opinion) had a baby I now see her controling nature.
It all started when she "suprised us" by showing up a day early before my induction. Let me say I was not a happy camper. Then she arrived a day early to "help" in the second week (while my mother was still here helping) and INSISTED to take over my household. She was sincerley disappointed that I was feeling better and up and about. She actually scolded me for walking up the stairs ( I had a vag. birth not a C-Section)! ug!
Then the first visit to her home over Thanksgiving was what I now expected. She keeps calling DS "our boy" which soon progressed to "my boy." UG but the real test was when she sent us out to get some "air" and leave him there with her. I agreed ( a movie sounded like fun after not being out for anything fun for 2 months). I left her everything she needed bottles, diapers, and warned that he may get fussy and need to sleep. Well when we came back 2.5 hours later she rushed to the door to tell us how well he had done, and how he had been sleeping almost the whole time! Good, right? Wrong.
The ONE thing she KNOWS we want for him is to be laid on his BACK. We are BIG on the swaddle as he still startles himself awake. She had put him in his pp on is stomach unswaddled and then bragged how well he is sleeping that way. My blood was boiling! I KNOW he would sleep better that way, but I don't want him to DIE! I am going by what the experts have recommended (as I assume the stats have pointed in such a direction since she had her last baby 27 years ago!). I just couldn't believe that she would try to FORCE her way on our child the very FIRST time we leave him! I should say the LAST! We didn't confront her, we just went and woke him up so that we wouldn't have to sit there and stare at him the entire time.
Really people, what is it with becoming a grandparent? A longing for their parenting days? Jealousy over the relationship between us and their sons? Just think...only 18 more years of this fight. Thank God for many MILES between us!
Re: Grandparents...taken over by aliens?
Her only son has had a child and everyone loves new babies. Honestly she sounds lonely. She's excited and proud of her grandchild! Granted the tummy sleeping was a huge no-no and arriving early is annoying but otherwise I don't see her doing anything out of the ordinary. Elderly people in church call my kids their babies all the time and they're not even family.
Have DH sit down and have a serious discussion with her. If she can't obey your rules with DS then she can't watch him anymore.
I cannot bring myself to leave LO alone with my MIL as many times as she offers and as much as I would love a nap, I just can't!!! I have no problem leaving her with my mom or my dad or even my 21 year old brother! I completely disagree with EVERYTHING about MIL's parenting style, or lack there of! DH is so fortunate to have turned out like he did, basically he has learned how to parent by doing everything the exact opposite of how he was raised!!! The worst thing is that MIL does not work and would gladly watch LO for free, but I can't bring myself to let her do it!!!
DH's younger sister is 11 years old and completely out of control! There house is the most disgusting trash and garbage filled thing I have ever seen. (I will NEVER allow DD to go to there house!) They haven't even had there gas turned on in two years!!! (Yes, that means they have no heat, just space heaters!) FIL is a heavy smoker and an alcohlic. I absolutely WILL NOT subject my daughter to this! Thankfully DH feels the same way!