Question about a tragedy

riserst · December 2009

I am not normally on here (3 tri), but thought that maybe some of you had heard of something like this happening and could provide some info.

I found out today that an old acquaintence of mine had her son on Monday. She is 35 and had no complications during the pregnancy, labor or birth of the child. Yesterday, while still in the hospital she began complaining of abdominal pain. She was rushed to another hospital and ended up dying this morning from liver failure. (?????) Baby is beautiful and doing well.

I can not imagine the pain that her husband, child and family is going through.... let alone the shock because it happened so quickly and without warning. I am not sure if she was a member of this board.

Has anyone heard of something like this happening before? The possible cause maybe?

AmandaToo · December 2009

Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?

I'm sorry for the loss.

MsMoseley · December 2009

im not sure why you posted this here....

..but i have never heard of this happening...im sure its possible though.

everyone reacts differently to pregnancy and birth, and without knowing her medical history pre-pregnancy its impossible to say it was the result of her birth...

jenniemarie3 · December 2009

It may be due to HELLP syndrome (hemolytic anemia, elevated liver enzymes, low platelets). It's on the spectrum of preeclampsia and is rare. Without having that much information, that would be my guess. Regardless, how awful!

chelseamp · December 2009

That's horrible! Nope, haven't heard of anything like that before. But now I have something else added to my "Things to worry about" list.

MsMoseley · December 2009

and im sorry as well...

but i really dont understand why you posted this here?....especially when women are about to give birth soon...

NaHoku · December 2009

I'm sorry about your loss.

But I think it's really strange and insensitive that you are posting here (especially since you aren't even a 3rd tri-er) when there are women who are preparing to give birth and have enough to worry about.

Why don't you try Google instead?

epphd · December 2009

Did she have cholestasis of pregnancy? that's the only liver-related pregnancy complication I am aware of. How terribly sad - I'm so sorry for your loss.

mlf625 · December 2009

AmandaToo:
Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?
I'm sorry for the loss.?

Um, maybe because she was looking for info? ?Who cares why she posted?

This father lost his wife shortly after she delivered their daughter, his blog is great and might help you to know how to help your friend's husband:

https://www.mattlogelin.com/?

NotEve · December 2009

jenniemarie3:
It may be due to HELLP syndrome (hemolytic anemia, elevated liver enzymes, low platelets). It's on the spectrum of preeclampsia and is rare. Without having that much information, that would be my guess. Regardless, how awful!

That would be my guess as well. I am sorry for your loss.

(...and now I'm totally freaked out)

CKLee1107 · December 2009

MsMoseley:

and im sorry as well...

but i really dont understand why you posted this here?....especially when women are about to give birth soon...

I think she posted here looking for exactly what she mentioned. Possible causes/answers....Drs are giving us all info based on where we are in our stage of pg and the woman that she was talking about was just recently a 3rd tri stage. I doubt she was looking to cause trouble for anyone. She may also have posted this on other boards (haven't checked...just a thought)

epphd · December 2009

I also have no problem with this question being posted here. We can be naive and bury our heads in the sand, but complications of pregnancy exist. Infant loss exists. Death in childbirth exists. We're not so fragile as to have to be protected from the mention of any of those things.

Jeni182 · December 2009

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Nicole731 · December 2009

mlf625:
AmandaToo:

Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?

I'm sorry for the loss.

Um, maybe because she was looking for info? Who cares why she posted?

Still seems kind of insensitive of her. Most ladies on here are about to deliver a baby for the first time ever. How would they know anything about this? And why ask such a question on a board full of women nervous about delivering their first kid? I understand wanting information but I would not have asked it here. Google could have given her as much info as anyone here could.

bmstee03 · December 2009

Nicole731:
mlf625:
AmandaToo:

Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?

I'm sorry for the loss.

Um, maybe because she was looking for info? Who cares why she posted?

Still seems kind of insensitive of her. Most ladies on here are about to deliver a baby for the first time ever. How would they know anything about this? And why ask such a question on a board full of women nervous about delivering their first kid? I understand wanting information but I would not have asked it here. Google could have given her as much info as anyone here could.

I agree. I really didn't need to hear about it.

riserst · December 2009

It was not my intention to be insensitive to the ladies here or to cause upset. I thought that since this board was closer to delivering that maybe something like this had happened and you guys could provide some kind of insight.

I was hesitant on posting at all, however I wasn't having much luck finding anything on my own.

Thank you to the ladies on the suggestions as to reasons.. I will be looking up all the suggestions. I am just blown away by the whole thing and looking for answers to ease my own worries.

shkdo0701 · December 2009

This question probably would have been better asked and answered on 0-3 or moms who have given birth...

LittleMamaB · December 2009

OP, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, and my thoughts and prayers are with you and her family.

To those calling her "insensitive", it's not like it's some big secret that horrible things can happen in childbirth. Act as oblivious as you want...it's real. She likely came here because those in their 3rd trimester generally have more knowledge of the birth process and the risks that go along with it. Chill out. The woman just lost a friend.

beth329 · December 2009

While I agree that it was a little insensitive to post here- She may not fully understand the worry and anxiety that can go along with the 3rd tri.... She may not know what kind of feelings her question would provoke.

Give her a break. I'm sorry for your loss.

lenaerickson · December 2009

I don't see a problem with her posting this on here at all. I am a first time mommy to be and did this freak me out? NO! I'm calm because that is what is healthy for the baby. If you constantly worry about everything that is posted on here you are going to have a lot of stress and it will hurt the baby.

I'm glad she posted about this to make us aware that there are a lot of things we don't think about AFTER baby is born. She is asking us 3rd tri ladies because some of us have had a baby before, some of us are high risk pregnancies and she wants to know more. Yes, she could have looked it up on google, but that isn't always trustworthy. Let a fellow bumpie ask a legit and concerning question without being criticized for where she decided to post it.

AmandaToo · December 2009

I disagree that we would likely know more about the cause of this than any other board. I don't have my head in the sand about risks, either. It's just weird to come over to a strange board and post something really sensitive - it's not like your usual board doesn't have women who have been through pregnancies before, have access to google, friends who have had tragedies, etc. As for support, she could have gotten that from her "usual" board as well.

mlf625 · December 2009

Nicole731:
mlf625:
AmandaToo:

Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?
I'm sorry for the loss.?
Um, maybe because she was looking for info? ?Who cares why she posted?
Still seems kind of insensitive of her. Most ladies on here are about to deliver a baby for the first time ever. How would they know anything about this? And why ask such a question on a board full of women nervous about delivering their first kid? I understand wanting information but I would not have asked it here. Google could have given her as much info as anyone here could.

Oh, waaah. ?So we're not supposed to talk about anything scary, ever? ?No miscarriage posts on 1st tri? ?No SIDS posts on 0-3? ?Scary shiit happens. ?If people aren't able to handle it, a public message board where people ask legitimate questions about legitimate concerns may not be the appropriate place to hang out.?

daisy_dueller · December 2009

I've never personally heard about this happening...but it's always been my worst fear. Especially now that I am STILL waiting on my life insurance policy on our mortgage to be approved...if I die in childbirth, DH is SCREWED.

*totally worried now*

SuperTreesa · December 2009

Of course I've heard of women dying during labor or soon after. Carrying a baby and delivery is one of the most dangerous things women can do with their body.

I don't see why this was posted here.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Smootchy · December 2009

NaHoku:

I'm sorry about your loss.

But I think it's really strange and insensitive that you are posting here (especially since you aren't even a 3rd tri-er) when there are women who are preparing to give birth and have enough to worry about.

Why don't you try Google instead?

Yes this...

TXTwisterBabe · December 2009

mlf625:
Nicole731:
mlf625:
AmandaToo:

Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?
I'm sorry for the loss.
Um, maybe because she was looking for info? Who cares why she posted?
Still seems kind of insensitive of her. Most ladies on here are about to deliver a baby for the first time ever. How would they know anything about this? And why ask such a question on a board full of women nervous about delivering their first kid? I understand wanting information but I would not have asked it here. Google could have given her as much info as anyone here could.
Oh, waaah. So we're not supposed to talk about anything scary, ever? No miscarriage posts on 1st tri? No SIDS posts on 0-3? Scary shiit happens. If people aren't able to handle it, a public message board where people ask legitimate questions about legitimate concerns may not be the appropriate place to hang out.

This. I prefer to not stay completely ignorant about the risks, so I'll be looking into this happening as well.

LittleMamaB · December 2009

mlf625:
Nicole731:
mlf625:
AmandaToo:

Why did you have to ask this here, out of curiosity?
I'm sorry for the loss.
Um, maybe because she was looking for info? Who cares why she posted?
Still seems kind of insensitive of her. Most ladies on here are about to deliver a baby for the first time ever. How would they know anything about this? And why ask such a question on a board full of women nervous about delivering their first kid? I understand wanting information but I would not have asked it here. Google could have given her as much info as anyone here could.
Oh, waaah. So we're not supposed to talk about anything scary, ever? No miscarriage posts on 1st tri? No SIDS posts on 0-3? Scary shiit happens. If people aren't able to handle it, a public message board where people ask legitimate questions about legitimate concerns may not be the appropriate place to hang out.

Beautiful.

AmandaToo · December 2009

To clarify, I don't mind the scariness of the post. I just think it's weird to come over and post a sensitive topic to strangers. And, yes, I get that we're all strangers.

Obviously I should just let this go... I am sorry for your loss of your acquaintance.

NaHoku · December 2009

AmandaToo:
I disagree that we would likely know more about the cause of this than any other board. I don't have my head in the sand about risks, either. It's just weird to come over to a strange board and post something really sensitive - it's not like your usual board doesn't have women who have been through pregnancies before, have access to google, friends who have had tragedies, etc. As for support, she could have gotten that from her "usual" board as well.

I agree with this. I don't think it's wrong that she posted on the bump looking for info - obviously, lots of us do this. I just think it's strange that she chose 3rd tri. Another poster mentioned that it might be because some of us have had kids before - well, we were on 1st and 2nd tri too (I can't remember how far along OP is), so I don't understand why she came over here to ask - when a lot of women already are nervous and scared for the delivery and are a lot closer to it. And another pp said that googling can be unreliable - I guess I don't consider random women on a message board to know much more than what a website could tell me.

That doesn't mean we have our heads buried in the sand - I've done my reading, I've heard plenty of things going wrong during pg/delivery, I talk openly with my dr about any issues or concerns I have. Of course OP is free to post about whatever she wants, on whatever board she wants. I personally wouldn't have, that is all.

preg_amy · December 2009

chapski:
NaHoku:

I'm sorry about your loss.

But I think it's really strange and insensitive that you are posting here (especially since you aren't even a 3rd tri-er) when there are women who are preparing to give birth and have enough to worry about.

Why don't you try Google instead?

this...

You people are idiots. It says "tragedy" in the title. If you are that sensitive, don't read it. She gave warning.

I'm sure you have all made posts that could have been answered by google.

NeverKnew · December 2009

Heheh. You never can tell when a huge debate of post-to-board relevance is going to pop up.

I guess the possibility of pooping and tearing is about all we can handle here.

fIowerchild · December 2009

Are you ladies really that fragile? She posted here because someone might know something that could be the cause (obviously).

Just because you're aware of something tragic happening doesn't mean it's going to happen to you (again, obviously).

blancanyc69 · December 2009

I thought this website was for pregnant females to connect and ask questions no matter how sensitive they are? Was I wrong for thinking that?

jennie1308 · December 2009

I am so very, very sorry that is really sad, just the thought. I hope all works out for the family.

whitward87 · December 2009

I am so sorry for her families loss...

That said, google is your friend, not a place full of really nervous expectant mothers, like myself. I am not trying to be snarky, but you will understand later in your pregnancy if you don't already have children.

LittleMamaB · December 2009

whitward87:
I am so sorry for her families loss...

That said, google is your friend, not a place full of really nervous expectant mothers, like myself. I am not trying to be snarky, but you will understand later in your pregnancy if you don't already have children.

There are many of us that are "later in our pregnancies" (or that have other children) that don't understand why her posting here is such a big deal.

::shrug::

fIowerchild · December 2009

bmstee03:

I agree. I really didn't need to hear about it.

Then why open a post with 'tragedy' in the title?

whitward87 · December 2009

LittleMamaB:
whitward87:

I am so sorry for her families loss...

That said, google is your friend, not a place full of really nervous expectant mothers, like myself. I am not trying to be snarky, but you will understand later in your pregnancy if you don't already have children.

There are many of us that are "later in our pregnancies" (or that have other children) that don't understand why her posting here is such a big deal.

::shrug::

Honestly I don't feel like it's that big of a deal. I guess I do need to find my big girl panties.

TakYelgif · December 2009

preg_amy:
You people are idiots. It says "tragedy" in the title. If you are that sensitive, don't read it. She gave warning.
I'm sure you have all made posts that could have been answered by google.

This seriously folks it is not like she posted a puppies and rainbows subject line.

CTri17 · December 2009

fIowerchild:
Are you ladies really that fragile? She posted here because someone might know something that could be the cause (obviously).

Just because you're aware of something tragic happening doesn't mean it's going to happen to you (again, obviously).

Yes and she probably figured that we would know more about what COULD happen this late in the game compared to other 1st tri'ers.

preg_amy · December 2009

whitward87:
I am so sorry for her families loss...

That said, google is your friend, not a place full of really nervous expectant mothers, like myself. I am not trying to be snarky, but you will understand later in your pregnancy if you don't already have children.

This is for you: Pregnant Women Are Smug

You'll understand later...

Want a personalized experience?

Question about a tragedy

Re: Question about a tragedy

Choose Another Board

Search Boards