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Multiples
No longer 2 babies :(
As of yesterday ( 32 weeks 3 days) I lost my baby girl twin Allison!
the boy Jakob is doing well but now i am having consistent contractions so i guess he will be here before we know it....
Any one who can giv e me words of wizdom to help out with dealing with a funeral and a birth at the same time that would be great .... also we were so ready for twins 2 cribs, double stroller, boy and girl clothes ... how do you deal with that too
Thanks
Julie
This discussion has been closed.
Re: No longer 2 babies :(
Oh, Julie- i am so sorry. I can't even image a loss that late... and also having a baby -- such saddness during such happiness.
I don't know what to tell you- not sure if there are others on here who had such a late loss of one twin who can offer advice....
but do know that you are in my prayers. You are always welcome to come here - you are a mom of 2. You carried twins for a long time... you fell in love with 2 babies at once -- you will always be a twin mommy. ((((HUGS))))
my heart is breaking.
I can't even imagine the emotions you are feeling right now...I am sorry I have no advice...I just want to say that you and your babies are in my thoughts...
I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. And I agree with Goldie, you are always going to be a MoM of twins.
There is an organization out there called CLIMB (coping with the loss of a mulitple?) for people who have lost one twin or multiple. Please check them out. Also, the Miscarriage and Loss board is a good resource. There must also be a social worker at your hospital who can point you in the right direction? My hospital has a support group for those dealing with a loss. Please reach out and get the support YOU need at this time of joy and loss.
Someone on this board also just a lost a twin last week I think. People don't realize how common this is.
Be careful with yourself. Thoughts and Prayers and Hugs too.
As far as what to do with the other baby stuff, depends on you. This honestly seems like the kind of thing that you should delegate to others. You have so much going on right now. It might be healing for you to deal with it, when you are ready.... but you are going to have a lot to deal with right now... but if not - delegate a good friend, your DH needs some support and time as well I bet.
Oh no, I'm so very, very sorry for your loss! I was just reading about CLIMB earlier today and was about to tell you about it. This blog talks about losing one of their triplets (after birth though, so a little different) and talks a little more about CLIMB: https://multiplesandmore.blogspot.com/2009/12/featured-blogger-jessica-of-four-plus.html
Sending you lots of T&P and hugs.
I am so very sorry that you are going through this. My thoughts and prairs are with you and your family.
On advice how to deal with this, you may have better luck on the preemies board. I lurke there sometimes (to try to prepare myself for what may be ahead) and I know there are several ladies there that lost a twin in the third trimester.
Julie, I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. I just want you to know that you and your DH are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray you find a wonderful support network to help you cope with all that is going on and please know that we are always here for you, too! If there is anything we can do, please let us know!
I pray the rest of your pg is healthy and goes smoothly for you. I hope your baby brings you much joy and that your heart finds peace with the loss of your other child.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts. Big hugs to you, Julie.
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your daughter. Amongst your grief you must be really scared for your other little one. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
I don't have any advice on how to deal with this but I did have a thought. A lovely way to honour your daughter might be to donate her things to a family in need. That way her life will touch someone elses is a really profound way.
Again, I am so sorry and am thinking of you.
I am so sorry to hear this. YOur family is in my prayers.
2 chem preg, 4 failed IUIs, 2 canc IVFs, 2 BFN IVFs, IVF #5 = BFP!!!
3/23 Beta #1 @ 17dpo = 913, Beta #2 @ 19dpo = 1724, Beta #3 @ 21 dpo = 3240
First u/s 3/29 @ 5 weeks 2 days - 3 sacs 6 weeks 3 days - 3 heartbeats 8 Weeks - Lost Baby C, Babies A and B going strong
Julie, I am so very sorry about Allison. I cannot imagine your grief. I will pray for you and your family.
Love, TX Grandma
After a PCOS dx, 18 months of trying, 3 rounds of clomid and 2 follistim IUIs our babies are here!
I am so sorry for you loss, I can not imagine what you are feeling right now and I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I agree with pp that you should reach out to those around you to help with arrangements and with the gear. I am sure they want to help you but might not what to do.
Will keep your family in my prayers. I am so so sorry for your loss - we are all here for you if you need us.
I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. It is never easy to go through losing your child. My heart breaks for you.
As for words of wisdom, I can tell you what really helped me cope with my loss was an enormous support system both at home and on the MC/PL board. I know at first you'll want to be kind of cut off from the world, and you should just take the time you need to heal yourself. Eventually you will be able to talk about it more and talking about it is helpful. I would recommend seeing a professional too, I know that really helped me deal with certain issues.
Please feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk. I know I'm just a stranger, but it's sometimes nice to talk to someone.
Take care of yourself. {{{Hugs}}}
i'm so very sorry. ((hugs))
no advice, but you and your family are in my prayers. GL with the birth of your son.
Julie, I am so sorry. I lost my one boy at 32 wks 5 days. I understand how difficult it is. If you want to know more about funeral with one in the NICU or things like that you can feel free to email me at laurncui81 at hotmail.com. I was ready for two as well. Its been almost 8 months and I still have both cribs set up in the room, so I dont know it I will be that much help with that but I will tell you what I have done with everything if your interested.
Also, I had a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep come and take pictures of both of my boys before they had to separate them. I highly recomend doing that. You can contact them at nilmdts.org .
I will be praying for you and your family.
Lauren
I'm so very sorry. I hope that everything goes well and that Jakob can wait as long as possible for birth.
I really like pp's idea about making a list of what you want to happen at birth so that you have time to see Allison w/o everyone trying to distract you. I have heard great things about Now I lay me down to sleep, too.
About the baby stuff... do you have a close girlfriend, mom or sister who would pack it all up for you? I would return everything that you can return. They could bring it to the store for you. BRU and Target will take it back if it was on your registry. Then I would ask them to pack up all the other girl stuff and you can decide what to do.
I'm so sorry you have to plan a funeral. Please come back and post when you are ready.
Aubrey & Anthony