Postpartum Depression

What's It Like For You?

I am so glad to see this board! You have no idea! (Or maybe you do!)

I just saw a psychiatrist today, actually. My LO is 6 weeks old exactly and according to the psych, I've got a pretty serious case of PPD. I was wondering what it has been like for you ladies...

Here's my story: DH and I did NOT want kids.-- at least for a while, anyway. LO was an accident. Still, we tried to be positive about the whole thing.  After a 36 hour labor, she was finally born. I didn't feel this instant love for her. I thought she was interesting, but the connection wasn't there. I assumed it would come in time.

When we took her home from the hospital, I was an emotional wreck. I have PTSD from another issue, and also have depression/anxiety issues. They blew up-- out of control-- after my DD's birth. I also have some bad insomnia that was made worse, too. 5 days after her birth I had only gotten a total of 7 or 8 hours of sleep, so my doc put me on Ambien.

Sometimes the anxiety was so overwhelming, I wanted to fling myself into traffic. I wanted to close my eyes and make my daughter go away.

It has gotten a lot better now that I get about 5 hours of sleep a night. I'm very glad I have a good husband and doctors who are capable.

So, what has your experience been like? Did you have anxiety/depression issues before your baby was born? I'm really curious to know if anyone else can relate.  

Thanks, ladies! Good to be here. :) 

Re: What's It Like For You?

  • I had a lot of problems with depression before I got married and PTSD from another issue as well.  I was really apprehensive about the whole birth experience and PP because of it.

    So far I'm doing okay.  I wouldn't say I am experiencing PPD to the full scale many women on this board are, and it has been getting better but at first I just felt so overwhelmed with everything, my emotions just out of control.  I know what yuo mean about closing your eyes and wishing your daughter away, I've had moments like this, but it is getting better.

     Lately it's been more like, I'm able to keep my emotions in check, but if one thing upsets me (and it could be the littlest thing) then I'm a wreck for a good day or two.  Yesterday was one of those days so I've been a little emotional lately.  

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  • Yea, when people ask me how I'm doing I say I'm doing pretty good, some days are better than others but I'm "maintaining" for now. Like I said in a pp, I am noticing an improvement now from the Zoloft even though it's only been 3 days. And I'm a firm believer in the power of intention, so I try to set out and think that each day here on out will get better and better and so on. I try to think this when I wake up in the morning...

    I didn't have any depression issues prior to this so it's all kind of taken me by surprise, especially how quickly it came on (which I think is in large part due to the meds I was on). We were desperate for a baby, TTC for a long time, and that makes it hard to think that after all of that here we are and I'm not happy when I have everything that I ever wanted... it's a weird concept to comprehend.

    I'm lucky to have a great support system, my whole family is "rallying the troops" and I'm getting check in phone calls daily and everyone is being very understanding and willing to help, so I'm incredibly grateful for that. I think this is the reason that I've found the strength to talk about it, at first I didn't even want to say it because I felt like admitting that I had it was a failure in itself. But after seeing everyone's reaction it has made it easier to reach out even further for help.

    Well enough rambling... I'm very glad this board is here!

     

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers Broken boob FFing, babywearing, co-sleeping, PPD warrior,colic survivor, proud WAHM! Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was very young and later started having panic attacks too. I knew PPD was a real concern but had hoped. One week after delivery I know its a reality when the panic attacks came back and the anxiety and crying as well. I went to the doctor today and got some help. I wanted to stop it before it got way too intense. So glad this board is here now!
  • imageRavenWolf:
    I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was very young and later started having panic attacks too. I knew PPD was a real concern but had hoped. One week after delivery I know its a reality when the panic attacks came back and the anxiety and crying as well. I went to the doctor today and got some help. I wanted to stop it before it got way too intense. So glad this board is here now!

    My story is so similar. I went to the doctor yesterday actually. My panic attacks came back the night we came home from the hospital. Things have been fairly bad for a while, but lately (since I've been back at work) it has intensified to the point where I cannot get up to do things for myself while I'm at home...glad to see this board.

  • I struggled with depression before. I was so easily overwhelmed. lacked the energy to even get out of bed. I honestly thought my daughter would be better without me. The best way to describe it was that I felt suffocated.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker NATALIE - 9/13/09 HANNAH - 6/8/12
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