Is this gift self-indulgent or thoughtful?

swedish-fish · December 2009

DH has been complaining for months (years perhaps?) about the big boring wall above our couch. I decided to paint an abstract painting as part of his xmas gift. When he inquired about the charge on our account to the art store, I told him my idea (I figured he would happen to notice me painting anyway - a huge canvas isn't so easy to conceal). He pretty much scoffed at the idea and seemed bummed out that it was his gift and asked if I could just go buy one instead. Am I the only one who feels it's more thoughtful for me to paint him something special rather than just go to target? What do you think?

Andrewsgal · December 2009

I don't think it was self-indulgent, but my DH would be the same way. A painting from me or a store is not something he or I would consider a christmas gift.

kimby3679 · December 2009

I agree with you! I'd be pretty ,mad if H said something like that. You are trying to get him something he wanted and you are putting a lot of thought and effort into it. If he was my H, I doubt he'd get anything after that.

akiernan · December 2009

Andrewsgal:
I don't think it was self-indulgent, but my DH would be the same way. A painting from me or a store is not something he or I would consider a christmas gift.

This.

Lucky_Dragonfly · December 2009

MH would probably suggest that I buy one as well, but then after he saw it he would probably really like it and appreciate that I made it. I drew a picture of his old dog and he loved it.

swedish-fish · December 2009

Andrewsgal:
I don't think it was self-indulgent, but my DH would be the same way. A painting from me or a store is not something he or I would consider a christmas gift.

It's just part of his gift, if that makes a difference. I'm just curious why you wouldn't consider it a gift? Is it too mundane, akin to him buying me a blender or something?

mary5198 · December 2009

I think it's really thoughtful to paint something rather than buy, but my husband would consider that something more for me than him. He doesn't really care what's on the walls.

jen_k2 · December 2009

DH never considers household items gifts. I wouldn't mind getting a painting or a kitchen item for xmas, but he would. He'd be the same as your DH and just tell me to go buy something.

inbetweendreams · December 2009

I think it's a great gift. I'd much rather have something handmade than something from the store, and I love having personal art in the house. But I'm not your husband

*Bre* · December 2009

how good of an artist are you? Wink

philosoraptor · December 2009

I guess that depends on your artistic talent, no? Wink

Seriously, though, if I bought a huge canvas and my husband found out I was painting something to hang above our couch, he would do two things. First he would die of laughter, and then he would immediately take over. But my husband is a trained and actually very talented artist, and I am, decidedly, not.

swedish-fish · December 2009

*Bre*:
how good of an artist are you?

Well, I'm no Davinci, but they are my walls, too! I wouldn't hang some hideous eyesore in my house. I'm only biting off what I can chew with the painting .

swedish-fish · December 2009

*Bre*:
how good of an artist are you?

Well, I'm no Davinci, but they are my walls, too! I wouldn't hang some hideous eyesore in my house. I'm only biting off what I can chew with the painting,

swedish-fish · December 2009

*Bre*:
how good of an artist are you?

Well, I'm no Davinci, but they are my walls, too! I wouldn't hang some hideous eyesore in my house. I'm only biting off what I can chew with the painting, if that

swedish-fish · December 2009

*Bre*:
how good of an artist are you?

Well, I'm no Davinci, but they are my walls, too! I wouldn't hang some hideous eyesore in my house. I'm only biting off what I can chew with the painting, if that makes

swedish-fish · December 2009

*Bre*:
how good of an artist are you?

Well, I'm no Davinci, but they are my walls, too! I wouldn't hang some hideous eyesore in my house. I'm only biting off what I can chew with the painting, if that makes sense.

swedish-fish · December 2009

*Bre*:
how good of an artist are you?

Well, I'm no Davinci, but they are my walls, too! I wouldn't hang some hideous eyesore in my house. I'm only biting off what I can chew with the painting, if that makes sense.

EuroChick · December 2009

It really depends how good an artist you are. And if you are going with a theme he likes. I say this because my mom is always offering to paint us stuff but I don't really like her work so for me this wouldn't be a gift...

Buckets of Moonbeams · December 2009

Unless you're a trained artist, I think it's self-indulgent.

LoriFalce · December 2009

I think your husband is acting like a spoiled brat who doesn't want to wear the sweater his mom made him in case his friends laugh because it doesn't have a label.

1MusicMaker · December 2009

jen_k2:
DH never considers household items gifts. I wouldn't mind getting a painting or a kitchen item for xmas, but he would. He'd be the same as your DH and just tell me to go buy something.

Same here.

LoriFalce · December 2009

Buckets of Moonbeams:
Unless you're a trained artist, I think it's self-indulgent.

Grandma Moses wasn't trained.

lizzyjames · December 2009

I have no advice but am jumping in only to watch phil's siggy pic. ::drool::

charlatti · December 2009

He indicated that he doesn't think it's a thoughtful gift -- isn't the point of a gift to buy/create/give something the person would like? For me a painting would be a very thoughtful gift, but that doesn't mean everyone else would want it. So if you're doing it anyway even though your H doesn't want it, then yes, it's self-indulgent.

Buckets of Moonbeams · December 2009

LoriFalce:
Buckets of Moonbeams:
Unless you're a trained artist, I think it's self-indulgent.

Grandma Moses wasn't trained.

Right, and her art was folk-art, amateurish.

swedish-fish · December 2009

Buckets of Moonbeams:
Unless you're a trained artist, I think it's self-indulgent.

I have some training. I'm not an art school grad, but I do have some art education under my belt. Does that count?

swedish-fish · December 2009

charlatti:
He indicated that he doesn't think it's a thoughtful gift -- isn't the point of a gift to buy/create/give something the person would like? For me a painting would be a very thoughtful gift, but that doesn't mean everyone else would want it. So if you're doing it anyway even though your H doesn't want it, then yes, it's self-indulgent.

I hear you, but he actually told me a week or so ago not to buy him anything, but if I insisted I could buy him something for the house. And I'm also buying him a couple other more traditional gifts.

swedish-fish · December 2009

LoriFalce:

Buckets of Moonbeams:
Unless you're a trained artist, I think it's self-indulgent.

Grandma Moses wasn't trained.

I so love that you pulled out Grandma Moses.

BlessedMommy723 · December 2009

If he told you to buy him something for the house then I would go for it. He may love it when you're done, you never know. However, I think if you do go ahead and do the painting that you have to be prepared for the fact that your DH may not like it. I would only consider this gift self-indulgent if you painted something your DH didn't like and then demanded that it still be displayed in your living room. Stick with what his style is and go for it

Good luck!

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