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Attachment Parenting
Ap is so much harder when they are older (mom's of older kids please come in)
Ds is 6 and struggling in school. We are working towards his LD diagnosis but it looks like Dyslexia. Because he is a smart kid he KNOWS he is behind and knows he can't read...and it bothers him hard core. But he knows we are working on getting him help so that usually makes it easier to get him to actually go without a huge battle.
Last week he was out with H1N1. Yesterday was his first day back. So he had a big break and was excited to see his friends. When he came home yesterday we talked about his day and he said everything was great except he got knocked down on the playground by a 6th grader. But he said the older kid came back to make sure he was okay, said he was sorry and offered to take him to the teacher. So really, not horrible, right?
Oh dear God this morning sucked. Ds threw a tantrum and dh matched with another. I finally seperated the two (really...this morning I felt way more like a referee and that I had 2 kids instead of one) and reminded dh that ds was only 6. Dh then told me that 'but some day he'll be 40 and he needs to learn now that he can't just not go to work when he doesn't feel like it". I replied back that by then he'll be an adult and we'll have given him the tools he needs to rationalize that...but today he is still a 6 yr old boy. Well...that at least seemed to shock him back into reality.
Then I took ds aside and let him cool down (physically and emotionally) and he proceeded to tell me that he had a fight with his best friend and that they aren't friends anymore. That's a HUGE deal to a little kid. But we talked it out and he realized that they could make up or he could make a new friend and that he really did want to go to school.
And if you've read this far thank you. I just needed to vent and get it all out. It's so much easier when they are little and you can throw them in a carrier and give them a boob or a bottle to help calm then down.
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Re: Ap is so much harder when they are older (mom's of older kids please come in)
Oh, that's hard. You did the right thing by talking to him and finding out the root of the problem.
Tell your H there are PLENTY of employees who take mental health days b/c they don't want to go to work... many jobs have them built in!
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I know EXACTLY how you feel and it really is hard to see your "baby" struggle. My DD is also 6 and is being worked up for a LD as well. She goes to see the OT tomorrow at 4 and then audiologist and ophthalmologist next week. Her teacher said that if she isnt caught up by December then it might be wise to have her repeat 1st grade. To top it off, her best friend has been being mean to her and she told me that she is going to tell her that if she cant be nice, she no longer wants to her be friend. Its a hard spot to be in. (personally, I think he BFF is a little brat and is super mean to her, so Im glad shes decided to stick up for herself...the kids a total bully and says REALLY innapropriate things to DD).
Sadie's self esteem has really taken a hit when it comes to school. She realizes that she cannot read and is behind the other students and gets discouranged easily...it makes me so sad. She sees a tutor for an hour a day and it seems to be helping but she's still only in 33%ile according to the standard 1st grade testing.(she was in the 8%ile before tutoring.)
I dont have any real advice but I agree, its hard. Im sorry you have to go through this too and hopefully things get better.
The worst thing about weaning DD was knowing that I could no longer offer to nurse when she was upset. We weren't even doing it that often past 18 months, but just knowing it was in my arsenal was good for my mental health!
I'm constantly amazed by how hard the "hard" moments are. I think they are much less often with a toddler, but made up by the fact that you are dealing with a fully functioning human with an immature brain. Maintaining our patience as parents can be SO difficult, but it is SO important. I've noticed lately that DD just sometimes needs 30-60 seconds to process what I'm saying, and then she's happy to go along with my requests. But understanding that she isn't going to immediately do as I ask is not easy.