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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
S/O Abortion
This might be offensive to some.
In my Anthropology class today we discussed the abortion rights in Japan. It is so much different than it is here. After the abortion (whether it was a choice or a spontaneous abortion) a memorial is held. Little doll statues are purchased and there are cemetaries specifically for this.
I find it helpful to mothers. The society sees it as an extremely difficult decision and very traumatic for the mother. Our professor stated it helps the mother with their mourning process and there are counselors available to them.
Thoughts?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: S/O Abortion
I think that is so cool. It is helpful to have a place to "go" to mourn and that it doesn't have to be hidden.
I did not know this. Assuming it is accurate, it is interesting.
I know after my m/c, I wanted comfort, and that would have probably been very comforting for me to do. Too bad that isn't offered here.
I can understand that in the case of m/c or unwanted abortions. But for people who chose abortion (not for medical reasons), I just can't see the point. Unless they want it, then go ahead. I just can't see the logic. If you didn't want it, what are you mourning?
If I'm just not getting it, someone feel free to ejumicate me.
I agree. I hate the "you'll get over it" mentality that is so often seen.
I think this would be a good thing for those who miscarry and mourn it but I don't see how it would apply to those who have abortions by choice.
Jinx!
For more information you can look up 'mizuko kuyo'
this would be my question as well. and do they view those babies as a life? because don't most people here not view those babies as lives? im just rambling lol
Malakai - 8.3.09
Ezra - 12.1.11 ASD
It is not an "enormous loss" for someone who doesn't want the pregnancy.
I think you are assuming that a person who chooses abortion is not entitled to feeling loss. I've never been through it, but even if you "choose" an abortion, I imagine it can leave a person feeling a lot of sadness and loss.
My notes are in the car and I am too lazy to get them
.
But I think what was stated was a loss is still a loss. A wanted abortion could still be met with intense guilt after the fact. They also believe that fetuses can cause harm to them in the afterlife.
Really? You can't imagine a scenario where a woman would choose an abortion that she would also mourn? I could think of 100.
Student. Abusive spouse. Broken marriage. Cheating husband. Dangerous pregnancy. Already has x# of kids...
How do you know? Perhaps the person who is knocked up feels like they have no choice other than termination? I think the feeling is probably very subjective.
Yet another example of how the United States is wayyyy behind the times about things that can actually be helpful to its citizens. I LOVE this idea.
ETA: I've worked with a few clients who have chosen to have an abortion, but have had a lot of conflicted emotions about their decision after the fact, despite it being the best choice they could make in their lives at the time. So for them, I think this concept would be comforting in a lot of ways.
saweet. an after-life cya.
I totally disagree with that. Someone close to me had an abortion and she really mourned over it. It's been 10 years and when that pregnancy's due date comes around, she still struggles a little knowing she *could* have had a 10 year old. She doesn't regret her decision. For her situation at the time, she still thinks she did the right thing. But...that doesn't mean she gives up the right to be sad. She's sad it had to happen that way, sad that she wasn't prepared to welcome that child into her life, just sad. I think a lot of women who have abortions struggle with mourning a life they chose to end after it's happened. I can see where the Japanese way of doing things could be some closure that women in that situation need.
I am sure that there are many situations where women make that choice with conflicted feelings. But to basically have a 'funeral' type service for something that *you* made the choice to terminate - it just seems odd, that's all.
And I did say up there that if they want to they should be able to. I would never think or tell someone who had terminated that they weren't entitled to feel loss. I'm sure that for most it's not an easy choice.
OP are these memorial services just done sort of automatically or what? Does everyone do them? This is quite interesting.
I'm going to have to agree here.
I'm really not sure. I'll try to find some more info.
People elect to have abortions for numerous reasons. Just because they don't want the baby at that point in time, does not mean that they don't want children or that they didn't want that baby. I think being able to mourn the loss whether you chose it or not is important. For some people the choice is extremely difficult, even though it was the choice that they made. Basically I don't think everyone that makes this choice should be generalized as one type of person, many people suffer for the choice that they made.
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I agree. This is very interesting.
If it is compulsory by law or in the same sense that a funeral is socially "compulsory" in our society then I have a hard time liking the idea because while I'm sure that would probably be very, very helpful to a lot of women I'm sure a lot of women would not like to be so public about it.
I like that the concept that a woman is entitled to view an abortion (or a miscarriage) as a legitimate loss of a life or potential life. If that is the way the woman feels she should be able to grieve however she chooses.
Miscarriage is not a medical term, the correct term IS spontaneous abortion. It is what it is.
"According to journalist Peggy Orenstein, about half of Japanese women who abort go through a ritual known as mizuko kuyo, or ?ritual of apology and remembrance.? So do many who miscarry."
I found this information in an article. I'm thinking it is a choice.
How very callous of you. How dare you decide for others what they can or cannot feel. I imagine there are many women who feel a tremendous loss after having to make the very difficult decision to terminate their pregnancies. Many pp mentioned some reasons, and the only one I haven't seen mentioned is in the case of rape. But no matter what the reason behind this choice, it is just that- the woman's choice. Just because she ends a pregnancy doesn't mean she isn't saddened by it.
What part of WANTING am I not making clear??? I realize that you can have an abortion while wanting the pregnancy but if you don't WANT the pregnancy then it's not a big loss.
While I respect your right to be stupid, I do firmly believe you are somewhat dense.
Not true. What about a woman who just simply cannot financially take care of the baby? And decides that abortion is HER best option? There is also the fact that MANY women feel enormous guilt after having an abortion. Maybe they felt that this was the best choice for them...but they still feel the loss. This is not your call...any woman in this situation can and will feel however they want about it. It isn't for you to say that it isn't a loss TO THEM.
OK, let me spell it out for you. A woman gets pregnant but does not want the baby. There are no extenuating circumstances, she does not want it. She gets an abortion and moves on. No loss. That is what i mean.
There's a big difference between not wanting something and not being able to do it.
ETA and if you had read the rest of my replies you would have seen the part where I mentioned I couldn't speak for womankind.