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Advice about DH

ervin412@gmail.comervin412@gmail.com member
in Multiples
I know that DH is more than excited about our twins, the only hang up he is having is with money. Every time we go to BRU or what not, he gets really quiet and doesn't say much, and I know he's worrying about how much everything costs. I try to reassure him that everything will work out, I mean, we both have very large families that are excited about the shower (I know I can't rely on that for everything) and my parents have offered to buy the cribs for the babies. I just need some advice as to what I can do to make him realize that it'll all be ok in the end and we'll have two happy babies no matter what we have?
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Re: Advice about DH

  • RobynKRobynK member

    Could you sit down with him and talk about what you need and how much it's going to cost so he knows before he gets to the store?  Also buy the book Baby Bargains and it will help you find good quality cheaper items.

    My DH is the same way so when I need to buy something I make sure he knows I did my research for the best deal and that seems to relax him.

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  • ervin412@gmail.comervin412@gmail.com member

    I pretty much have baby bargains memorized! I am kind of a type A personality when it comes to things like this, I have to be educated and prepared! DH knows this about me and trusts my opinions, that I know which brands are best and more often than not they cost more. I think thats what bugs him a lot of the time is that he doesn't want to skimp on anything for the babies, but doesn't want to break the bank either.

    ETA: I sometimes think i'm more willing to be ok with balancing cost and quality than he is.  

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  • TripMommaTripMomma member
    I found BRU to be really overpriced, WalMart, Target, CraigsList, Amazon were all much better for us.
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  • Temp159135562506975Temp159135562506975 member

    a lot of things are worth getting used - b/c you use them for such a short time- there's no reason to buy new... craigslist is great for that (or ebay, consignment shops, etc).

    I shop almost exclusively at consignment for clothes - and a lot of gear/toys, too... i save a TON - why don't you find some ways you can save and show him that you are trying hard to save - that should make him feel better- i know it makes ME feel better b/c I also was freaked out (and still am) about money when we found out it was twins.

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  • ervin412@gmail.comervin412@gmail.com member
    imageGoldie_Locks_5:

    a lot of things are worth getting used - b/c you use them for such a short time- there's no reason to buy new... craigslist is great for that (or ebay, consignment shops, etc).

    I am a bit of a self-proclaimed craigslist junkie. I have been eyeing it up for certain items. BTW, I saw your adorable clothes up on ebay, and we find out tomorrow what we're having. I would totally be buying them from you (if they are boys) but I wonder if they would be the wrong season? 

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  • MNheidiMNheidi member
    It IS overwhelming but as pp have mentioned, there are many ways to save $.  And, I would definitely connect w/ a local MoMs group.  Not only do I do well buying/selling at the sales, I've met a MoM whose boys are a year older than mine.  Prior to the sales, I just go to her house and buy all her good stuff (she's got great taste in clothes) - she doesn't have to tag it and I don't have shop the racks.
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  • MawrtyrBMawrtyrB
    I still have that freak out. You'll get so much at your shower. If people offer to pay, then let them. Getting things used/Craigslist is so much help too. We could never have afforded most of this stuff at retail. 
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  • kelliwillkelliwill
    My hubby was kind of the same way and still is.  I bought a TON of stuff used on craigslist and we got our cribs at IKEA.  I just explain to him what things cost and what we need.  This is our first pregnancy and I had three showers (my side of fam, his side of fam, and work) and people are VERY generous.  Also, my cousin who has a 9 mos old daughter gave us a TON of clothes.  I snapped at him last time we were at BRU and he was whinning about cost, and I had to remind him that overall we have not gone crazy or spent an outragous amount of money.  We got cheap cribs, used my childhood dresser, got a changing table on craigslist, and used his childhood bookcase.  The only NEW thing in their room is our chair (Our big purchace and well worth it) and their cribs, which my mom ended up buying for us.  My advice is don't buy any clothes until after all your showers because people LOVE to buy baby clothes.  Register for the stuff you need and we bought extra swings, exercaucer/jumperoo, bumbos, baby bjorns, baby hangers, DSNG, and other strollers used.  GL!
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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    IMO, the more you can buy used the better.  Baby stuff loses probably 50% value as soon as it's bought, if you can buy used then sell it, you're going to pay next to nothing for most things.  As far as bedding, you don't need a fancy set, you can get buy with as much or as little as you want as long as there's a crib, mattress, and sheet for each baby.  These babies have already cost us SO much money, and we haven't even needed to buy them clothes (from DS) or a few other baby items.  Just remember, 99% of it is optional, babies don't need much, the swings, bouncers, monitors, special baby towels are all just for our convenience.  GL.
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  • jk43008jk43008

    When I was pregnant, it was the opposite.  I am always worried about money, do our bills, ect...My husband loves to buy brand new stuff that is way too expensive.  He wanted to buy brand new cribs, but one of my best friends twin nephews were graduating to toddler beds at just the right time, so we bought their cribs for $200 total and stained them the color we wanted.  They aren't exactly what I would have picked out in a store or if we had one baby, but they have been just fine and soon we will be changing them into the toddler beds.  We joined our MoM's club and went to their spring sale and got a ton of stuff (including clothes), but I wish I would have done more craigslist and garage sale and consignment sale shopping because I have discovered the greatness of them in the past year and a half since my guys have been here.  I would totally suggest doing all of these things from day one.  Of course, you will have to register for some things you can not find...but most of our stuff was given to us at showers.  This past summer, I had a garage sale and sold lots of our stuff (some of it that I bought used I even got the same amount I paid for it--like our exersaucer, jumperoo, ect..!!!!)

    And, I know this is getting really long, but two other things I would suggest are...think about cloth diapering.  we use bum genious.  it is not a big deal to maintain for us, and we have saved thousands on diapers!!! Also, do not fall into the name brand trap.  Costco formula is exactly the same as similac advanced.  Costco wipes are cheap but work fine. Target disposable diapers work fine.  Your childern will not kow the difference between Gerber puffs and Kroger puffs.  Good luck!

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  • Twin.PeaksTwin.Peaks
    Everyone has given great advise I just wanted to add that you should check and see if there are any 'twin sales' in your area. That helped me out a ton when I was pregnant.
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