Community› The Bump Local Boards› Cincinnati Babies
Cincinnati Babies
New Discussion

HUGE MIL drama vent (long)

little-peanutlittle-peanut
in Cincinnati Babies

To preface the whole thing, DH, Griffin, and I usually spend Christmas with my family in Louisiana and we have since before DH and I were married.  We always celebrate Christmas a week early with DH's side of the family.  BIL comes in from Chicago to celebrate early with us since he goes to his FI's family Christmas on the actual day.  This year my parents have decided to come here for Christmas so DH, Griffin, myself, and my sister don't have to fork over big bucks to fly there.  Very thoughtful, and we are very excited to spend Christmas morning in our own house!

Fast-forward to now.  MIL asks us what the plans are for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and I tell here nothing is set in stone yet since it is still a few weeks off, but we will go to mass on Christmas Eve and we will open gifts with just my family Christmas morning.  I tell her we can all get together all day Christmas Eve and then after our gift opening is over on Christmas Day we can get together for brunch or whatever, nothing is set in stone yet!

Well, she freaks out and gets mad and says that "we don't want to spend Christmas with her".  WTF!  No where in my conversation did I say that I didn't want to see her for Christmas.  She gets SIL involved in the whole mess and now both of them are sending us nasty emails saying how insensitive we are for not including MIL in Christmas.  SIL keeps asking how I could do something to intentionally hurt someone.  I am about to freaking pull my hair out. 

I am just baffled as to why she wants to come over and watch us open gifts from my parents.  We will have already opened a crap load of gifts from her a few days earlier.  Griffin is too young to even understand the concept of Santa so that is not a big deal this year.  And, we will see her all day Christmas Eve and pretty much all day Christmas Day.  She will get plenty of time with us and Griffin.

I am wrong to want to be just with my family for gift opening?  I get to see my family about 4 times a year and we see DH's family every weekend.

Sorry, so long.  Thanks for letting me vent.

Kristen & Mike 7/2005
Griffin 10/2007
image
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: HUGE MIL drama vent (long)

  • KristenBtobeKristenBtobe member
    Oh geez. Aren't families fun sometimes? I'm sorry your MIL is being such a pill.  It seems totally reasonable to me. Where is your husband on all of this? My rule is if there's an issue with his family, he handles it, and vice versa.  Maybe see if he can determine why she is upset. Perhaps she misunderstood something?
    image Ready to rumble.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • suprchicysuprchicy
    Wow.  Sounds like she expected to spend every waking moment with you guys since you are here for Christmas.  I'd definitely have your DH handle it, like Kristin said.  DH handles his mom, I handle mine when there are issues. 
    Report Reply
  • teacherjessteacherjess member

    I agree with Kristen. Let your DH handle this since it's HIS family. That's our rule, too, otherwise the emails just get out of control. Let him bring up that you very rarely see your family and you want to have that special time alone with them. I suspect your MIL is hurt because you will be there for Christmas day, she will be within easy driving distance, and she would like to be there on actual Christmas morning (which really is what all grandparents seem to want...nothing is as coveted as the REAL Christmas morning). So I would try to not take it personally and remember they are so obsessed with being there because they would love to see Griffin open his gifts, and just have DH explain the whole situation in a way that shows that you just want some time alone with your parents without a whole living room crammed with people.

    GL! Nothing is worse than a sticky holiday situation. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MoestenMoesten

    The nasty emails are completely unacceptable. No way should your DH be tolerating your MIL and SIL (what is she doing in the convo anyway?) treating you like this.  He needs to step up and address his family like PP's said.

    Now having said that, will your MIL be alone Christmas morning or will she be with members of her family? If she were to be alone on Christmas morning I think the gracious thing to do would be to invite her to join your family.  It is a terribly sad thing to be alone Christmas morning. However, if she will be with other family members, I think your current plans are fine.

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • spradssprads

    I agree - DH's family, he handles it. Also, why aren't BIL and FI coming to town the week before? Too bad you can't continue with celebrating Christmas the week before like usual and having your family over.

     

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"