How do you stay at home?

Rachel2315 · November 2009

Hi all -

DH and I are seriously considering having me stay at home for the first year if our son's life. I love my job (well I love the idea of my job anyways) but really would like to spend this formative time with my son. However, we're just not sure how we would swing it. Any tips on how you manage to stay at home and make ends meet? TIA.

dionnemd10 · November 2009

i'm still learning, but we watch our budget like hawks, i only run errands one day per week (to save on gas), we don't use a credit card (for occasionaly hotel stays only), we do use out debit cards and people are suggesting not to-but not sure we can go there quite yet. make more meals at home. do stocking up shopping on essentials when they are on sale.

we have never been big on nights out or things like that so we save there. i do 90% of shopping for dd at garage sales, off season sales, toys on craigslist.

we also figured out what we could live on-what is needed, what is a what, what is essential etc. like mortgagae, utilities, groceries are more important that say netflix or lunches out.

cp760 · November 2009

You could try to earn some extra money from home: sell on ebay/craigslist, make/sell crafts, start a home business.

The only way we can afford for me to be home is for me to work from home. I started my own business 6 years ago and it's one of the best things I ever did. It's a necessity financially... not to mention that it gives me something for ME. I love having something 'grown up' to focus on so that my mind doesn't turn into mush.

Califragilistic · November 2009

I consider myself VERY lucky to be able to stay home. DH works 2 jobs, we watch our spending and obviously have to give up luxuries (mani/pedis, shopping, massages, eating out etc) but it is so worth it!!

There are many ways to look at your budget and see where you can save. MINT.COM actually will do this for you...for free! You put in your info and it shows you where you spend your money in percentages and also shows you where you can save! Also, looking into different car insurance companies etc helped by making sure we were getting the best deals.

jenifairies · November 2009

We knew before we had kids that I would SAH. We also didn't want to wait a long time to have kids, so we just kept life small so that we could afford it. Up until a couple months ago we drove old paid off cars. We rent a small house. We don't go out to eat, drinking, etc all the time. I cook almost every night, and he brings lunches to work.

We also didn't go out and buy the biggest and best everything for DD. We used some second hand things and I get most of her clothes at wm, target, or garage sales.

DH goes to school PT and gets paid for that from the military. That helps - I'm not sure we could swing it comfortably otherwise.

cepcep · November 2009

Same as the PP's. ?We have paid off cars, no debt besides mortgage. ?We stick to a tight budget and if we can't pay for it with cash we don't buy it. We also have savings for emergencies. ?It took us a few years to get to that point prior to having our girls. ??

MrsRebecca · November 2009

It was so important for us to have me SAH that we gave up our house and we're downsizing. We're going to have a much smaller mortgage than what we were paying- and we're totally fine with it.

Also we cut out extras- don't eat out often, no expensive vacations, watch our grocery spending, don't go shopping unless we truly need it, etc. We also drive older (2000 and 2002) cars that are paid off.

It works for us, but some people aren't willing to sacrifice so SAH doesn't work. If you can't afford to maintain your current lifestyle on your husband's income- you will have to cut back. If you have debt- pay it off!

Take the next two months and track your spending- write down every single penny you spend. Then look at where your money is going. This will help you establish a budget. When DH and I did this, we were appalled at how much we spent on Starbucks, eating out and Target. So those were the first three places we cut back.

Then we looked at our grocery budget- I started meal planning around weekly sales and clipping coupons. We easily shaved $100 a month off our grocery bill this way. We eat what's on sale that week coupled with what we already have in our pantry.

It can be a struggle at first, but with some commitment and hard work- you CAN do it!

littlemermaid · November 2009

What you can do is a trial run now by living off of his paycheck only and depositing your paycheck into a savings account that you do NOT touch. You can also do a spreadsheet of every penny spent so you know the areas that need to be cut or budgeted for. Try finding lower house/car insurances. Most car insurances will allow you to change to a "recreational" driver once you are a sahm and that will bring savings to your premiums.

HarrietNJMommy · November 2009

We're lucky that we bought our house 7 years ago (we've been married for 6) so we only based our mortgage on DH's salary. We live in a HCOL, so we feel very lucky to have the option of me staying at home without it being a financial burden.

The ladies on here are very impressive with ways to save money - they give good tips!

loregopar · November 2009

::waves enthusiastically:: Hi Rachel!!

We're still trying to figure it out, and I've been SAH for over a year now! We've cut our debt slowly, but it's happening. We're still not doing coupons or weekly meals, so that's my next goal. You should definitely put your check towards savings and try to live off J's paycheck for now, see how it works.

One very important thing is to agree on everything with your DH. My DH has occasionally done purchases without telling me, or "forces" me to buy things just because I want them (especially with the pregnancy, affects my judgement, LOL), and it affects our budget. Or he will start planning on buying big things (like a car) because he thinks we can afford the payments/debt. We probably could, but it would increase our debt and take any chance of saving money away, so I have to bring him back down to earth.

It's not that they're not trustworthy or that they don't mean well, it's just more of a process for them, I think, since they're the ones working for the money. And it's sometimes hard to know you're making such amount but can't splurge, especially at first. That was a bit frustating for DH at the beginning. So make sure you're both tracking expenses and on the same page. Just my $0.02

Chrisy-Wyobride · November 2009

We planned ahead before we had children so we kept our expenses low. Also DH worked on increasing his salary (got licensed in his field, new job, etc) which helped a lot. Also budgeting helps of course. Good luck!

JDB3358 · November 2009

We realized after I got pregnant that I would probably end up SAH. So we started living off of DH's income and used mine to pay off my car. My income was not a significant contribution to our finances, so it didn't affect us too much. I save alot on gas, since I don't drive everyday, I cook every weeknight, we don't go out much, I buy big toys off of craigslist, and I buy the store-brand of everything we need. I'm still working on meal planning. We also call around to different utlitity companies every 6 months or so to make sure we are getting the best rate. We just switched garbage companies and saved us $20 month (not a huge deal, but over the year amounts to a decent savings). Sometimes if you let your current provider know you found a better rate elsewhere and threaten to cancel, they will price match.

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