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Success after IF
kimarino13
member
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
i am in "how the hell am i going to do this?" mode
kimarino13
member
I think it's finally starting to sink in that I am actually pregnant, and that rumbling I feel in my tummy all day long is TWO babies that will be here in less than 3 months.
OMG.
The past few days, I have been feeling really scared, which is probably stupid considering how hard we fought to bring these babies into our lives. I just don't know how we're going to go from where we are now to caring for newborn twins soon. Infertility and all that comes with it ruled our lives for over a year's time, and I got very used to sitting around and having "me" time a lot while on bed rest for numerous IVF/FET cycles. Soon, there will be no "me" time at all, and that's more than OK, but I just wonder how the adjustment phase will go.
I want to breastfeed but know how hard/impossible that might be with twins. I worry about how we will be able to afford bring two more lives into our family. I worry about how the stress of two babies will affect my relationship with my husband. I worry about how I am going to go back to work 14 weeks after they are born. And much, much more...
Someone please tell me that this worry phase is normal and I am not an a-hole. I hate that I am sounding negative, but I guess I am trying to be realistic about all of this. I can't wait to meet my daughters and have the family I have been dreaming of, but I am also very, very nervous.
Thanks for listening. 
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
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Re: i am in "how the hell am i going to do this?" mode
It's very very very normal.
You would be abnormal if you WEREN'T worried, freaked out, etc.
Having kids is huge. Having two kids at once it even more huge. But you WILL be fine.
Sure there will be adjustments. Your life will never be the same, but you know what, it'll be better than you can ever possibly imagine right now.
There will be hard times. Your relationship with DH will change. It will take work at times to make sure those changes are for the better and not worse. You may not have as much 'me' time, but you'll have times of baby cuddles, baby smiles, etc that will be wonderful.
You are feeling totally normal! Enjoy your bedrest time and enjoy your me time now. Get your sleep:)
I can tell you it's not that bad. I am actually surprised how smooth it's going. I am curled up in bed with my 2 pretty little ladies next to me now:)
They are almost sttn, they wake up one time. It's awesome having them with me. I had my hubby give me "me" time last night.
It's not that stressful.
I can't tell you about BFing since I pump, but last night I BFed both in the middle of the night and it went great.
Savannah
Callista
Baby Trail Blog
"Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006
Oh, and I think this freak-out sesh was triggered by the Breastfeeding class I took. The instructor gave us sooooo much info; I was in information overload, and she basically made me feel like if BFing isn't successful for me, I am a failure and in the (only) 1% of women who just can't do it. I mean, F, how many rules can there be? Do this, don't do that, do this at exactly this time, don't let visitors come over, never put a shirt on in the house, etc.
Ugh.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Girl?!?!
You'd be crazy if you weren't worrying!
Becoming a Mommy is daunting regardless of the path to get there.
You're totally normal!!!!
Try to frame it this way...
You were strong enough to survive IF. You WILL BE strong enough to survive the first year with twins!!!
You can do this!!!
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
She sounds like a nut.....success is different for everyone. Bfing is more an art than a science, you'll figure out what works for you. It's not the end of the world if you don't follow all of the 'rules'. Heck, that goes for parenthood in general.
After 22 cycles and tube removal our IVF miracle has arrived! Detailed IF and IVF info in bio.
What?! If that is the case, then I'm a big BFing FAIL. (Oddly enough, my LO is latched on and perfectly content as I type.) Don't let this stress you out. It will most likely be hard in the beginning, but the girls will let you know if they like it or don't! Then you go from there.
I was trucking right along and H was the nervous one. One morning I woke up and thought "WTF did I get myself into - I actually PAID for this" (lol). I freaked for a few days straight. Then I go excited and now it alternates each day.
It has been just him and I for 10 years (married for 7.5) we were so used to the 'lets do what we want when we want' thing. Man is this going to take some getting used to - and I only have 1!!!
I had a dream the other night that I went shopping and left baby in the car and did not even remember him until I was in the check out aisle... I woke up in freak out mode!!
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
Thanks, ladies. This is all really helpful to read.
Yes, we are lucky enough to have both sets of grandparents who want to be actively involved somewhat close by. So we will get help from them when we want/need it. I am very fortunate.
And yeah, the BFing class lady was a nut. Before that class, my goal was to just roll with things and figure them out as they happened. But she got me thinking that everything had to be done exactly this way and not that way, and it was just a bit too much to digest.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I did this at 6 weeks as well, and about died when realizing that we're going to be on the hook for over $2,800 a month for daycare.
O
M
G
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I so hear you. We had our last childbirth class on Monday, and we broke up into "moms" and "dads" and discussed our "biggest fears."
We talked about intrusive grandparents, daycare, housework...
and I was the A-hole who said that my biggest fear is that I will have worked so hard to become a mother... and that I'll hate it. And it will be too late.
Yep. They looked at me like I was insane. But really, aside from the "how can I do this" mess (which I totally feel too), I also worry that I'll wind up 6 weeks in to motherhood and think that it's not for me.
Man, I hope it's normal.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
This would of totally been me. So to me it is totally normal
After 22 cycles and tube removal our IVF miracle has arrived! Detailed IF and IVF info in bio.
Right there with you. So, I am going with "normal."
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Big hugs. I understand--I was a blubbering mess last night over the same thing.
I think we all must go through this to some extent. I have tons of worries too -- what one wise Nestie mom told me was that those worries seem a lot smaller when the bab(ies) are actually here and you're taking care of them and dealing with actual things one thing at a time. All we have to deal with right now are the "what ifs." It's the single best piece of advice I've gotten all pregnancy. Hang in there ... you are going to be an AWESOME mom. I know it ... and I only know you from this board!!
I am thankful every day for my miracle after infertility.
And thrilled to be pregnant again after FET!
Ya'll just summed up everything I've been feeling, but have been too ashamed to admit to anyone. I've talked to my DH about it...you know, in those middle of the night talks where you say anything you need to, and nobody brings it up ever again? It was dark, and he didn't vocally judge me...but I could tell he thought I was nuts.
This thread, however, has made me feel so much better...if we ALL feel this way, then I'm not a freak ;-)
BTW, that breastfeeding woman is a NUTJOB...ignore her...
E (and the rest of you preggies) - when you do sort of hate it six weeks in - DON'T WORRY - that's normal too!! I had many a "what have I DONE????????" moment - where I wondered what all that sobbing about possibly never being a mom was all about!!
And then it got better. And he is my greatest joy - and I can't imagine life without him.
Remember I told you this in those dark, new mommy moments! You're gonna be great. All of you!
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
If it makes you feel any better, I am feeling the EXACT same way right now. It's so surreal because I feel like I've waited so long for this to happen and wanted it so badly, but now that its almost here, I'm freaking out!
I am so worried about b/f-ing, and about ME time and about hubby time. I think that once these babies are here, there won't be time for questioning or worrying. I think we will just go into full on mommy mode and do what it takes to care for them. At least that's what I hope happens!
Everyone keeps asking me if I am ready for them to be here already. Am I ready to be done with the major uncomfortableness that comes with a twin pregnancy, YES, but am I really ready to start taking care of the nuggets, ummm, probably not, but honestly, I don't think you're ever really ready for this.
Sorry if I'm rambling, I just want you to know that I feel the same way. And no, you for sure do not sound like an a-hole. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and if you were going into this without all those concerns, then I'd think you were dillusional.
You are just preparing yourself and educating yourself as much as you can, which is already making you a good mommy!
This. I know it's scary thinking about dealing with it, and honestly sometimes I wonder how we would have cared for twins considering how challenging it can be with Toodle, but many, many moms do it and you will do great! As for BFing, lots of twin moms successfully EBF, just do your best and try not to worry about something before you know if there will be issues.
I feel like this in my group of friends! No one is willing to admit motherhood isn't rainbows, puppies and angelic sleeping babies all the time. It drives me crazy!!! I figure if they are either 1) Lying or 2) Under the influence of alcohol and drugs most of the time.
I'm one of the least maternal people I know and I'm surviving (and dare I say thriving) with my babies. You can do it! Just remember to laugh...a lot.
After a PCOS dx, 18 months of trying, 3 rounds of clomid and 2 follistim IUIs our babies are here!
I know I am late to chime in on this but I SO feel what you are feeling too. I've always wanted to be a mommy- my whole life and now that I soon be one to twins I am so worried and doubting myself. All my friends who have babies are like- "wow one baby is really really hard- how will you deal with 2?" and they've said it so many times that it sunk in my head now.
THe only thing I can say is- we will figure it out. trial and error. maybe we dont give ourselves enough credit- maybe we have this natural superwoman gene that will kick in and we will conquer all. I hope so.
As far as finances, I have no idea how the hell to afford 2 babies. I hope to go back to work after 6-9 months just so we can afford the tuition of private school. This is a huge priority of mine to be able to give my children that schooling. But like everything else in this world, if there is a will, there is a way.