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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
How do you tell mom or MIL what to do/not do?
MIL watches my nephew full time. My SIL just found out that she lets my nephew chew on FIL's toothbrush! SIL is studying to be a dental hygenist and recently learned about all of the bacteria adults have in their mouths that babies don't and how it can affect LOs' teeth. She told MIL to to let him chew on it any more. (This is in addition to the dangers of my nephew crawling around with it and falling and jabbing himself in the eye or throat.)
SIL sends food and formula to MIL's house for my nephew, but apparently MIL also decided to make her own baby food. SIL just found that out, too, but she has no idea what MIL is giving him.
MIL gave DS a bottle of Tylenol (full) as a rattle awhile ago. Thankfully he wasn't interested.
MIL is very sensitive about everything but especially about her child-raising skills. She has been a SAHM forever and still is even though the kids are all moved out. Kids are all she 'knows', so if we correct her she'd be really upset. But they're OUR kids and it's our duty to protect them and see that they're safe and healthy.
How would you correct her? Would you do a case-by-case thing or just sit down with her and have her call to ask us if we mind our kids doing this thing or eating that thing?
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Re: How do you tell mom or MIL what to do/not do?
When my mother does things with LO that I don't want her to I just say, "Mom, please don't do that. We aren't given DS sugar/he can't have milk/he shouldn't play with knives." Blunt and to the point. She gets ticked at first, but she gets over it.
I have had to say it a billion times though and I just repeat the same thing over and over, "Do not give DS icecream." I can't count the amount of times I've said that.
Using anothers TB can give LO cavaties, viruses and other disease.
You need to have a heart to heart with her and educate her on basic issues you have. I would sit down with her and make it VERY clear that you do not want to hurt her feelings but every generation has their own way of doing things and you need her to respect the way you want to try to raise your child...
Or
Go with the pick your battles. Baby food, who cares...toothbrush = dangerous!
I dont have these issues...my mom is really as concious as I am about what Katie does and doesnt get. I think she might be a little bit more obsessive as me...but in the case of MIL - she knows when I say no I really mean HELL NO....She also knows that she will not see Katie if it continues...I dont play that...
I think you and your SIL need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with your MIL and flat out tell her - this is how its done if you dont like it then we might need to find other alternative to LO care.
The baby food might not be a big deal, but SIL doesn't know what her DS is eating. She just wants to know and then decide from there whether or not it's dangerous (i.e. giving peanut butter at 9 motnhs). AND she told me she'd probably be fine with it if MIL just asked her.
My mom is like that, not quite as bad. She watches DD.
I'm very blunt and to the point. Mom cannot feed her anything new unless I've said it's ok. This came after my mom let my DD eat part of a donut. Not a huge deal but who lets an 8 month old snack on a donut? She's actually pretty good about what she lets her play with. Our biggest battle is the food.
My mom also watches my cousin occasionally who is 8 and pretty overweight. Her parents have always let her eat whatever she wants and she always wants fast food. My mom will run her to McDonalds all the time. I told my mom fast food is absolutely out of the question. I don't eat it very often at all and I don't want DD preferring it like my cousin does. An occasional treat is one thing, 5 times a week or more is another.