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Single Parents
getting back on your feet, alone
Hi, everyone. I am a newly single mom of an almost 15 mo. little girl, and new to the site. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips or advice on getting back on my feet financially as a single parent.
I have filed for child support, but he either quit his job or got fired so I am not receiving any financial support from him. I ended up having to move in with my parents temporarily and thank goodness they are willing to help, but I want to get back out there on my own as soon as possible.
I was thinking about expences vs. income and dont know how anyone actually raises children on their own...
Any ideas, or tricks that have worked for you?
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Re: getting back on your feet, alone
sorry this is going to be very long...........
how do you know that he has either quit or been fired from his job? have you gone to court and have income withholding started? it can take minimum 30 days for income to take $ from his paychecks AFTER the court decision is made by the judge/magistrate.....meaning it can take about 2m before you see your first payment as the court has 30 days to make a decision and like i prev stated can take minimum 30 days for income withholding to begin. for us, it took almost 2.5m for our first payment to come in. court was 8/10 and the first payment wasn't until the 2nd week in october.
make sure you're keeping on top of the support because as soon as he has any sort of "legal" income (meaning nothing under the table) he can be subject to paying it, and anything that he isn't paying now will go into arrears (back pay). make sure you keep tabs on him and if you hear (even through the grapevine) that he's working contact your support worker and notify them because then they can send out the income withholding info to them.
(this is what ds' dad is subjected to because he has arrears)
no passport
no student loans/grants
goes against his credit rating
any and all taxes will come to us for past support
IF he has been ordered through court with income withholding and he's NOT paying it because he doesn't have a job/getting paid under the table, they can/will take his license first and if after that he still isn't paying, they will take any other sort of licenses he has/throw him in jail (true) and he can be charged with a felony for not paying support that is court ordered.
make sure you're looking into any sort of county programs that you could be eligible for. food and/or cash support/daycare assistance/WIC (these are all based on income)
thanks so much for the info. as far as the child support thing, we have an order in place already for a certain sum of money. was supposed to start being deducted as of oct. 1, but was not. we are in contact still bcause i try to make sure my daughter has a relationship with her dad. i try not to let his or our problems get in the way of her knowing him so i know for sure that he is not working at the moment and from what i can tell, hes not really looking for a job . ive spoken with the attorney general about how to go about getting payment from him since he is not working but basically i was told that i cant take any action until 90 days after the 1st payment should have been received, then we have to go to mediation and try to resolve things. if it can not be resolved at that point, the attorney general will go through the legal routes to collect from him.
at this point and with his history, i think he may prefer jail over getting a job. mine is not the only child support order he has against him and i think that he may just figure that all of his income is going to go elsewhere so why bother working.
i have tried to get assistance but basically i am told that since i now live with my parents, my total household income is too high to receive any assistance, which puts me in the situation that i will not be able to receive anything until i get out on my own, but i cant get out on my own without assistance.
i am kinda just to the point where i want to handle everything myself without trying to rely on anyone else. he cant be relied on for anything ever, and i would prefer to stay off of assistance if i can. i just want to provide a stable, happy life for my little girl.
I lived with my mom for almost 4 years after dd was born. As much as she drove me nuts it was a lifesaver b/c it helped me a lot financially. I am a serious tightwad and pinch a penny until it screams. I look for deals, sales, thrift shop, whatever to save money.I also started putting money in savings from my tax returns and when I was working multiple jobs before dd was born. That helped a lot so I have a cushion. I just bought a townhouse in Aug. and work f/t and rarely get any child support from her dad. I knew what my expenses are (or would poss. be) and how much I needed to make to be able to handle it and didn't stop until I found the jobs in that salary range. It's overwhelming but I'm making it work. You just have to believe you can do it (and even if you don't, fake it) and come up with a plan and stick to it. I know lots of single moms who are doing it on their own ... you can do it! Don't be afraid to ask for help or take help ... advice I'm still trying to learn to take.
Good luck!