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Attachment Parenting
I feel like I've created a monster
We bed share at night, and Em pretty much never unlatches. If she starts squirming and I put a boob in her mouth and we go back to sleep.
The problem... is she won't sleep without being latched on during the day. If I do nothing but sit and nurse her, she is happy as can be. She will sleep as long as I sit there. She isn't drinking, just keeping enough suction to stay latched. If I move- she wakes up. I can't put her down, because she will wake up the minute she is unlatched. She won't take a binky. I can nurse in the sling, but not ALL day for all her naps. If she would allow me to shift her position after she fell asleep,it would be doable.. but she won't. She wakes up and screams.
I am HOPING that part of this is related to the reflux and it will go away when the medicine kicks in. But I'm worried it's not. I kept thinking that it would get better, and just to enjoy snuggling her and loving on her. And I DO love that- but I really cannot just sit in a chair all day. And she's 9 weeks, and showing NO signs at spreading out her feedings. Since 9am this morning I think she has been not latched on for maybe, MAYBE an hour and a half total. I'm going nuts here.
I have known babies that weren't happy without a binky in their mouths, but never a baby who wans't happy without an actual nipple in their mouths!
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Re: I feel like I've created a monster
I think that is so common at that age. I was still constantly nursing then too. FWIW, I wish I could still put a boob in his mouth to keep him contant
I don't really have any advice, but maybe if DH can find a way to soothe her, that will help. Sometimes, if DS wasn't near the food source, he didn't want it as bad. Hang in there!
it helps some just to hear that it's normal! I keep seeing people say their babies only nurse for 15-20 minutes, only 8-12 times a day... and I can't even count how many times she nurses, because she never stops! She nurses so constantly I start leaking if she (by some total fluke) goes an hour and a half without nursing.
so when do they stop being constantly nursing? At first I heard around a month, then 6 weeks, then 2 months...
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
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It's just frustrating... I keep saying to myself, "just a few more days/a week and she won't be nursing so much..." and then we reach that time, and find out it's not exactly true!
It's not even that I want to put her down, I just want to be able to say, "okay, she's full... I'm going to put her in the mei tai and go for a walk" or "okay, she's full.... I can hand her to DH for a few minutes and take a shower" or whatever. She just ALWAYS wants to nurse! She won't even drink the milk- if she wants to nurse but not drink she just turns her head a little and lets the milk dribble out of her mouth.
For us the constant nursing slowed down at 4.5 months when I went back to work. Then he would constantly nurse from the time I got home til he went to bed in order to stock up for the night. This slowed down when around 8 months when he was eating more solids.
As for the suck to sleep association, NCSS has some great tips on how to break that habit. We didn't break it until 10 months old, but I think we could have done it sooner had I known there was a solution.
Honestly, it seemed like the constant nursing lasted a while. I can't remember. DS nurses all night now, so maybe its not over. Maybe around 6 or 7 months he started nursing for shorter periods of time, but we would still have long stretches. Around 4-5 months, their sleep patterns change and it becomes slightly more predictable, and they seem to be awake and more engaged with the world after that. Thats when you will probably see less nursing during the day.
DS was never a quick eater. He was on the boob for hours. Now, though, he's done in 2 minutes, easily.
Some people say that they only nurse 3-4 times a day for LOs the same age as mine, but I nurse way more than that. I don't keep track, but sometimes he'll eat twice in an hour, or he'll go 4 hours without eating. It all depends on his mood.
I wish people told moms-to-be (and dads-to-be) - get ready to sit around A LOT because that's what you'll be doing for the next few months. I think that is one of the hardest things that go along with being a new parent - you don't get to just get up and do stuff like you used to.
Ditto what a pp said about the NCSS & the suck to sleep association. We're still working on it. I think you mentioned in a previous post that they were switching her reflux meds too? That helped Ari's daytime nursing a lot. Nighttime nursing is still an issue. Since we started the NCSS plan its better, but I think now he's in such a habit (or pattern, I hate the word "habit" for a baby his age) of waking that he's just doing it anyway.
Basically I'm right there with you too. It sucks. And my nipples are sore.
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DD used to nurse a lot also. She would go for 45 minutes at a time. I remember the pedi telling me she should be going 3 hours and she never did. When I went back to work at 3 months she would nurse most of the night when I got home. It does definately pass with time. DD also did not take a pacifer for a long time. She eventually did around 4 months. It's just a phase and it will pass. Just keep trying. I remember I thought I would never be able to get her to nap in her crib and eventually she did.
Now, I'm lucky if I can get her to do 5 minutes on a side.