Trying to Get Pregnant

Do your friends/family know you're TTC?

Just curious ...

We aren't talking about it with our family mostly because we don't want anyone to get their hopes up.  We also don't want a lot of unsolicited advice/pressure.

I have one friend who knows that I am charting - she's doing it as well, but she's not going to start TTC until Spring (it'll be her 3rd.)

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Re: Do your friends/family know you're TTC?

  • It's no secret that we are TTC.  Thankfully, no one ever asks about our progress, either.

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  • Nope.  No one.  It's very private to us.
    BabyFruit Ticker image miscarriage 12/2009 5 1/2 weeks probable ectopic...fingers and toes are crossed that number 2 sticks. Looking forward to June 2012!
  • Nope, some things are left between a husband and wife. i.e. sexy time
  • The only people that know we are TTC is my mom and a couple of close friends
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  • Most everyone knows we are TTC.  However, most days, I wish they didn't.  All I get is unsolicited advice.
  • Just my grandma...I think my MIL also suspects but luckily is too polite to ask.
    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
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  • The only one that knows is my sister... we don't want to make a big deal yet because you never know...
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  • Nope.  No one knew.  Guess they do now!
  • No one.  Dh wants to tell people but I hate stupid advise so it wouldnt make sense to tell anyone unless he wants to see more of my sacastic side when talking to his family.
  • Anyone that knows me knows that I want a baby...so it's never "discussed" with anyone...but it won't be a surprise to anyone either.
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  • My immediate family, a couple close friends, and my boss (I needed to explain why I turned crazy all of a sudden - stopped BCP haha)
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  • Some do, some don't. I actually get more annoying questions from those who don't know. People who know seem to be more respectful about it. The others seem to assume we are not trying and bug us to start, which is irritating when we already are.
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  • I didn't want anyone to know, but my sister found out..and since then I have casually told a few friends...but it is not complete public knowledge
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  • Everyone knows.

    I told one person in my family... but I should have known we are all a bunch of yentas, so now everyone knows.

    They are very discreet and never really ask though.

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  • I don't really mind who knows. Also, many people know we had a m/c (even people we didn't tell we were pg). No one really offers unsolicited advice and I don't mind discussing it with people who are interested (other friends wo are also trying).
  • We are pretty open people so we never lie if anyone asks, and many people ask or just assume. I wish that less people knew...mainly because I can't deal with people asking: "anything NEW with you guys?"

    If I could turn back time we would keep it to ourselves.

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  • No one really knows.  I am sure there are plenty of people that assume we are because of our ages and how much we like/want children, but we certainly didn't announce it.

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    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

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    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

  • Just a few very close friends that already have kids...That way if I have a question or need some advice I can always ask them!
  • The only person who knows we are TTC is my mom. I WISH I hadn't said anything to her. She hasn't been all that supportive and her advice has been less than helpful.
  •  We havent told anyone yet because I dont want to deal with questions or comments why we havent gotten a BFP yet...
  • Only my mom and H's best friend and his wife know.  My one close friend did tell me the other day that she figured we were trying but hadn't asked because she didn't want to pry.


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  • imagejteneback:
    Some do, some don't. I actually get more annoying questions from those who don't know. People who know seem to be more respectful about it. The others seem to assume we are not trying and bug us to start, which is irritating when we already are.

    This exactly!

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  • I only told my mom and 2 close friends. Now my mom has taken upon herself to tell some of her friends that we're having T-TTC so that they'd pray for us. Even though I told her not to tell anybody, she felt the need of giving details, because she's my mom and can't keep a secret. I welcome prayers but I don't want everybody and their mother knowing the issues between me and my uterus.
  • Out of our family the only one that knows is my mom (it took her 18 years to get KU with me so she wants to be apart of our journey as much as she can) and DH's cousin.. She just got KU with her 2nd so we talked about it one night.

    And also most of my close friends know. My whole department at work knows because they are a groups of 7 woman who are all my best friends and are a great support system. So basically we don't hide the fact that we are TTC. I'm to the point where everyone always seems to ask "when are you going to start having kids" and I just reply "we're working on it!"

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  • My three best friends are the only ones that know that we are TTC. We don't want to deal with all of the questions and such from family plus the pressure if it takes longer than most people would expect. It is a very personal decision but I have heard a lot of women regret telling people after the fact.
    Me 29 I DH 28
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    15 Months TTC....2nd Cycle of Letrozole - Success!
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  • A few close friends know, but that's it.  No one in either of our families know except for my SIL, but that's b/c we're BF's.
    BFP July 11, 2009 ~ C/P July 15, 2009
    BFP 11/25/2009 ~ Blighted Ovum Discovered 12/10/2009 ~ Natural M/C 12/24/2009
    BFP 3/29/2010 ~ EDD 11/25/2010

    Sawyer Marshall ~ November 16, 2010
  • Just my best friend. 
  • My dad knows, my sister, and a couple of select friends.
  • A couple of our friends who were also TTC & T-TTC knew about 6 months in.

    We told my mom and step dad once we met with the RE and knew we were doing IUI. Nobody else knows and I'm glad. I sometimes wish my parents didn't know because my mom can get annoying, but it's nice to have her support. Plus, I'd feel really guilty if she was thinking I was mad at her or something when really I am just in a bad mood b/c of the drugs.

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  • We told a bunch of people when I got off the pill (last December) because of course we thought it would be a snap to get KU.  ::headdesk::                     Now I really regret it because I know people are wondering what's going on.

    Only my Mom and SIL know about the IVF.

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  • Immediate family, yes.  They know too much in fact.  My Mom keeps asking me if I O'ed, lol.  Extended family doesn't know anything unless they heard it from my Mom (she is bad about keeping her mouth shut).  But it's ok if they find out.  No big deal for us really.
  • imagek8edge:

    Just curious ...

    We aren't talking about it with our family mostly because we don't want anyone to get their hopes up.  We also don't want a lot of unsolicited advice/pressure.

    I have one friend who knows that I am charting - she's doing it as well, but she's not going to start TTC until Spring (it'll be her 3rd.)

    Absolutely not because i am worried of the same thing. They won't know anything about it until a +HPT. It is a personal peference as well but am very private and don't like people asking me questions or giving me unwelcomed advice so i thought it best to keep my and DH's mouths shut. GL!

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  • imageMore_CowBell:
    Nope.  No one.  It's very private to us.

    this 

  • Our parents, and a few close friends know.
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  • No complete secret between my DH and I...we dont want other's advice, or opinions.
  • No one knows that we are.  I am thinking about telling my sister when she is down here next week, but I am not sure yet.

    When we do het pg, I will tell my mom and my sis, but no one else till at least our first u/s.

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  • No one knows.

    A couple BFFs know I chart. They think its just to see if I am ovulating.

    TTC #2 since Sept '16
    My Chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/28017b
    TTC #1- 3 failed rounds of Clomid/ Surprise Natural BFP w/weight loss- 9/22/11 DD 5/12
    DX. Dec '09 w/ Inappropriate LH Secretion Syndrom/PCOS/ Anov 28 months
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  • Most of our friends and family know. It certainly isn't a secret! Luckily, a few people ask how it's going, but in a sensitive way, not in a 'well, get going already' way.

     

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