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Eco-Friendly Family
goodgalpal
member
Random concerns on having mutliple kids
goodgalpal
member
When DH and I have talked about having a family, I tend to want less kids and he tends to want more. I want 1-2 (and 2 is iffy!), and he wants 2-3, maybe 4.... So I told him I think my max is 2 and I can't even promise that. I told him how I want to wait and see what one is like, and then we can make more decisions.
I have multiple reasons for thinking the way I do.... 1) I am old (31 right now, won't ttc until I am 32-33. 2) I am an only child and feel that I was able to have more opportunity to do things than if I had siblings. I was able to travel w my family, I got more education, and also had several activities such as dance, figure skating lessions, violin, clarinet, etc. 3) I want to wait about 2 yrs after the first child before having another, and by then I will be at higher risk for pregnancy issues, and have advanced maternal age. 4) This probably sounds insane, but I worry that additional kids won't be as special or as loved as the first. I don't want that to happen.
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Re: Random concerns on having mutliple kids
You have valid concerns. Sounds like your idea of "waiting to see what one is like" is a good one.
<a href="http://s1103.photobucket.com/albums/g471/HealthfulMama/?action=view
Good idea here. I always wanted like a soccer team full then I had Declan. If I have another Declan I might be done. I love him to death, but he's more than I can handle some days. =0)
Tales of the Wife
I am 42 and we are working on a sibling for our daughter.
I had an older brother who was killed in an auto accident when I was 17. I have experienced roughly half of my life as a sibling and half as a singleton. Siblings are the best! Someone to help you make family decisions about aging parent/s etc. An aunt or uncle for later children etc....
As long as you extend yourself equally for any and all children involved, I don't think possibly missing out on a dance class will be a personality killer. Kids have differing interests too...
I agree with everything PPs said and just want to chime in about having 2 kids; I have an only-child friend who begged me to promise her I would have 2 kids. She's an only child and is the only caretaker for her elderly parents - no one to help her. Although this isn't a sole reason to have 2, it was very interesting to me (I'm the oldest of 4).
Also, I will be 36 when I have child #1. Talk to YOUR doctor about your body before you make a decision that you are too old. I've been scared and "threatened" by many people saying I shouldn't have waited (I didn't meet my DH till less than 4 years ago), my risks are crazy high, etc. But my doctor has NEVER worried and after some tests in the 1st tri, said I shouldn't have any other concerns or issues than those that face a 25-year-old. Also, most women in my family have had their babies in their 30s - no problems.
I wish you good luck with #1 and think you are very smart not to make any promises until you see what motherhood is like. My DH and I are waiting too to decide on the #2 decision.