Not using a car seat from time to time?

barnwife · October 2009

WTF? To me, it is never okay to not have your child in a car seat. Yes, that means that sometimes your child will scream. You can pull over and comfort them, but then back in the car seat they go.

However, recently I was in a situation where someone I know chose to hold their child (n the backseat behind the tinted windows) because the child was fussy. For various reasons, I was uncomfortable speaking up. (Apparently I was the only people there who wasn't okay with the child not being in a car seat.)

Any good ideas for something to say if it happens again?

heather_09_15_07 · October 2009

How about "that's unsafe and against the law and this car isn't moving until that kid is in the carseat?"

MrsG NC · October 2009

Um...bad idea. Car seats are mandatory. Fit or no fit! lol

ChrissyMarie007 · October 2009

I met my cousing for lunch and she pulled up w. her 2 yr old on her lap WHILE DRIVING. When she got out I said, "Hey Britney Spears, your son needs to be in a carseat BY law for a reason. She laughed it off

ams8099 · October 2009

Yup. If you are the driver you are the one that will get a ticket. If you are a passenger, say something to the driver.

InsyNCurtis · October 2009

I like this approach.

DaniLovesPink · October 2009

I don't know of a good answer, or the "polite" way you call to question someone's parenting. What I do know is that as responsible adults, we need to be the voice for a child who can't speak or protect themselves. When it comes to a situation where a child's safety is called to question, I would have simply said, "Could you please put him/her back in the car seat? This is not something I'm comfortable with, not to mention it's illegal and unsafe." Afterwards, once the moment has passed, I would talk to the mother or father in private and say, "I'm sorry if that came off as rude, and I realize as parents we tend to do what we think is best at the time, but I couldn't have lived with myself if something would have happened and I hadn't spoken up." Hopefully the second statement will smooth things over, because you're obviously just showing love and concern for their child. If not, at least you know in your heart you did the right thing.

Mrs. Mo · October 2009

I woudl definitely say this if I was driving. If I was just a passenger I would say "Aren't you worried your child could get seriously hurt/killed if we were in an accident?!?!?"

barnwife · October 2009

I thought about all of this. I wasn't the driver and it wasn't my car, so I don't think they would have cared.

rebelina1 · October 2009

I can't believe that a parent would be that careless with their child's life. It is a law for a reason. There are certain things that you must do as a parent that a child may not like but you still do them for their own good. A car seat is one of those things.

Your friend is just sending a signal to her child that if they cry they will be held instead of sitting in the carseat. The child needs to get used to it because it will be years before the car seat disappears.

Buttafli_kiss · October 2009

This. I agree and I actually do that now with seat belts. DH knows the car isn't moving until he's buckled up and if he's driving I won't close my door. He's gotten better but still slips up.

Mrs. Mo · October 2009

I do this with my dad, as he NEVER wears it. I will just sit in the driveway for an hour, if need be, until he puts it on.

ashleyann82 · October 2009

I like this response.

alice2Bcheshire · October 2009

I like this approach.

Jaimie01 · October 2009

Were you driving? If so I would have told them that unless there child was in the car seat I wasn't moving the car. If you were a passenger I don't know what I would say.

manda19 · October 2009

I dont care if my kid screams its head off they will be in a car seat. Better to have an upset child for a half hour than a dead child. People need to realize that kids cant get their way everytime they cry.

barnwife · October 2009

It wasn't my car and I wasn't driving. In my car, the car doesn't move until seat belts are on/ car seats are being used. I didn't know how to impose my rules on someone else's car.

hrparker · October 2009

Ditto everyone who said that car seats are necessary EVERY time. I've actually called people on it before, and gotten the annoyed sigh, but I don't care - if I'm driving, the car isn't going anywhere until the kid is buckled into the seat.

That being said, did anyone else here have crappy parents who didn't use car seats? I don't think I was in one very often at all as a toddler - there are actually pictures of me standing up in the front seat (just barely tall enough to see over the seat) in between my grandmother (driving) and mother, looking at / talking to people in the backseat. My mother's explanation? "What? If we had to break, one of us just put our arm out to hold you back. Indifferent

floridakat · October 2009

Email her this link and see if she ever does it again.

https://www.kyledavidmiller.org/pages/3002/About_Kyle.htm

MSC03 · October 2009

Ditto this. Your subject line made my stomach drop.

I'd rather have a screaming child than a dead one. You could get into a minor fender bender and kill the baby because the force of your body will crush it.

kmwills · October 2009

Whenever my friend gets behind the wheel, she tells everyone, "Click it or ticket!"

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