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Success after IF
SO upset; my mom's reaction to haircut.....
I don't even know how to respond to my mother's obnoxious response to cutting Aiden's hair. What do I even say?! It's hard for me to "let this go" - any suggestions....I was just in awe when I opened this email last night. I am so hurt.
I cannot tell you how saddened I was when I reviewed the latest pictures you had posted. I was crying so hard I had to stop. I cannot believe you did that to that precious baby! I thought you just had Aiden's hair cut that was supposedly hanging down in his eyes. I have to ask you to make other arrangements for his care next week since I cannot possibly care for such a sweet little guy with a man's haircut! He is a BABY. This is truly devastating to me. I could hardly talk with Heather about it. I will have to cut this short, I am so upset. If you must, you will have to speak to your dad about it, I am going to bed.
Love,
mom/gramma
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SO upset; my mom's reaction to haircut.....
I'm sorry but my response to your Mom is to LMFAO.
Is this for real?
Are you 100% sure this isn't a joke on her part?
If this is real I think your Mom may need some mental help.
And is she REALLY gonna leave you in a bind for daycare for your child?
Over a HAIRCUT?
Honestly.... I wouldn't be hurt by this but I'd be really really worried about my Mom.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
i'm absolutely shocked... her response is beyond ridiculous, imo! she won't care for her GRANDSON because of his haircut? really? she's only interested in seeing her grandchild if he has the "right" haircut? really?
sorry, i'm just really mad and hurt on your behalf... its hair! it'll grow back! i'd just be so offended that apparently her affection towards her grandchild is so dependant on his hair. it makes NO sense.
I would talk to your dad, and hopefully he agrees with you about how ridiculous she's being and has advice about what to do next. Maybe she just needs time to calm down and come to her senses. I'm sorry you're dealing with this!
Because we're fancy like that.
This is so awful, I had to read it to MH. His jaw hit the floor alongside mine. I am sorry, but your mom is being ridiculous. You have every right to be upset with her. Her reaction to a hair cut is just nuts. She won't watch him because of it?! What???!!!
I would probably respond with, "I am sorry this has you so upset, but once you calm down and come to your senses, I hope you realize how ridiculous and hurtful this email was."
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
wow, that is all I can say. wow. over a haircut?
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
-----Lisa-----
100% agree. Are you sure it's not a joke? If not, it's really too absurd for me to be angry with.
After 22 cycles and tube removal our IVF miracle has arrived! Detailed IF and IVF info in bio.
You're kidding, right?? Or *she's* kidding? Please tell me SOMEONE'S kidding in this situation!
Honestly, although this really is just the way I am
- my first reaction is not hurt (although I get that) but anger. This is so rediculous!
I'm so sorry for you!
this TOTALLY sounds like something me BSC mother would say, although she wouldn't say, she would lie and say she's sick or something and can't sit... and then pretend all was well the following week when she forgot she was pissed.
Your mom is nuts. I would be hurt too, but I would also be laughing at how silly she looks and is acting.
Send the email back to her and just put "bbbbrrrruuhhhaaa!" and see what she does.
Silly. just silly.
HUH??? Perhaps she was having a bad day or is upset over something else and used the haircut as a way to vent her feelings?
I am really sorry you had to read that.
HUGS!
2 infertiles' journey to 2 pink lines (and a baby girl)
"our IF story"
I'm going to offer a little support to TanoBride, here, because now that I look, it appears she's a bit on the new side, and reading thru these posts, I'm wondering if we totally attacked Gramma, instead of offering Tano our sympathies? lol.... Perhaps Gramma has a history of irrational behavior such as this, or she's dealing with something major in her life, and it's transferring to the haircut??
anyway... Tano, I'm not sure how much you've lurked around these parts but every word was said in support, and even though our jaws are dropped and we might be laughing a bit (or a lot) it's just to say that we're with you...
But yea... if Gramma is "truely devastated" over a haircut, someone should be worrying about something here.
I am so sorry you got that reaction out of your Mom. I do have to say though that if she's going screw you with the daycare thing over a haircut then I would definitely find OTHER arrangements permanently. Because she has now shown you that she will use that as a way to "punish" you for your parenting that differs from her way of doing things. I wouldn't stand for it.
I would respond telling her she's being completely irrational and when/if she comes to her senses you're willing to accept an apology. If she can't stand to care for such a sweet little guy with a man's hair cut then maybe she doesn't need to care for him at all. Leave the ball in her court.
I'm sorry lady! That's such a rude thing to open up in your email on a Monday morning. FWIW, your kiddo's hair is cute!
if it were me, I would be telling her off completely! He is not his haircut! he is still the sweet little baby and she is acting insane!!!
Ditto! WOW!
Are you F-ing kidding me? Wow. NOT cool Mom. NOT cool.
Sorry your Mom is a bit of a whack-a-do!
Someone needs to tell Grammy to STFU!
Thank you all SO much for your support! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't overreacting to her overreaction....if that makes sense??
Davez, I am a longtime mostly-lurker around here, and I rarely post, but thank you all for letting me reach out to you guys. A lot of you have allowed me to wipe away the tears and gear up for a level-headed and mature response to her immaturity and insanity. And after talking to my sister, it sounds like my mom is having a hard time and fighting a lot with my dad lately, so it may be that she's projecting her anger at him through all of this. But as emiannie pointed out, the fact that she threatened to not watch him as a "punishment," I will be searching for alternative and permanent childcare. I just never thought my mom would stoop so low.
ditto.
Honestly this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I think your mom has something else going on here!
So... you've confirmed that this wasn't a joke on her part, right?
Wow. I'm so very sorry you're dealing with this.
It would be hard enough with it just being your Mom but her being your daycare provider too makes it a double whammy.
Sounds like maybe she really needs a break from watching your DS and was looking for any "excuse" to get some down time?
Not a fun Monday for you, huh?
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
That is the biggest load BSC, AW crap I have ever read!!!!!
Seriously your mom can't be around her grandchild because of a haircut um WTH?
WTF! Even if it was the worst haircut in the world (which I am sure it is not) the email is something I would expect from a bratty teenager, not a mature adult. I would be hurt if I were you also. That is just mean and spiteful. There are plenty of tactful ways to let people know you don't like something - even though it is really none of her business.
I have not good advice unfortunately. I am sure I would react poorly so that might not help your situation. I do want to wish you luck though.
2 chem preg, 4 failed IUIs, 2 canc IVFs, 2 BFN IVFs, IVF #5 = BFP!!!
3/23 Beta #1 @ 17dpo = 913, Beta #2 @ 19dpo = 1724, Beta #3 @ 21 dpo = 3240
First u/s 3/29 @ 5 weeks 2 days - 3 sacs 6 weeks 3 days - 3 heartbeats 8 Weeks - Lost Baby C, Babies A and B going strong
Ummm, wow. I am just really at a loss for words.
My first reaction is to tell gramma to kiss my big fat butt. Your child = your rules. Gramma doesn't get an opinion, and for damn sure she doesn't get to try to make you feel like an ass for cutting your baby's hair. That's nutty.
I'm with the pp's...I'd be finding other childcare not only for next week, but permanently. If she is willing to say things like this to you via email, I would be curious as to what she is saying to Aiden? I know that is a terrible thought, but I really would wonder about it.
I'd also be putting in a call to my Dad, to find out what on earth is up with your Mom...sounds like something is going on.
((((Big Hugs)))
WHAT?
I think you need to make other child care arrangements because that sounds nuts! She seriously got upset over a hair cut???
Yes, he is a baby, but it would be nice if he could SEE out of his eyes instead of having hair hanging in them. Good grief.
Yep, this. But also - I think I just saw into my future. My mom has a similar tendency to make everything about her.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
This.
Okay, that was seriously funny Davez! I have to agree with everyone though--totally ridiculous. But you should seriously consider Davez's response. Classic!
This-- 100%!
THIS. Exactly. I just read it to my coworkers, and they sat there, mouths agape and then laughed before saying how disturbing it was. I would say ignore her. That's ridiculous. It's HAIR. It GROWS.