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Blended Families
Holy Duck! Note on drama, then calling my CA gals....
I should know better than to wander away from Bumping for three weeks. I see it has been a drama filled week here. It makes me a little sad because I always thought of this board as the drama free board, since we all had enough private drama going on in our lives. ::shrugs::
This is not a personal poster critisism, as I haven't read most of the posts, just an observation. All the regulars on here are great and give wonderful, truthful advice, boo on anyone who tries to fvck that up.
Anyway, back to the chase. :P
BM filed for welfare without talking to DH and I. I posted a mini vent about this a couple weeks ago, as we got the paperwork the day I went into labor :P
We have found out the that $5,000.00 we spent on changing the custody paperwork was a waste of money and essentially useless. The state has decided my DH is a deadbeat because we don't have a specific cs amount, even though we pay $1,200.00 a month + in expenses like daycare, dental, school etc.
DH got a notice from cs services that he is behind in cs and they are going to dock his pay because they only have a copy of the old cs order. Had to send a certified letter with the new order, got another letter stating they are going to put a notice on his credit report if he doesn't pay, sent another certified letter with new court order....
Found out that we may have ot pay back BM's welfare and will have to pay close to $1,000.00 in cs because she no longer has a job. This will happen even though she told us she won't be working for at least a year because her dad gave her a 20,000.00 loan to go to cosmetology school. Found out that if she marrys her current bf that DH's cs actually goes up, found out if I go back to work cs goes down....
So thanks to BM wanting to be a fvcking deadbeat, I have ot go back to work earlier than planned so she can stay home for no reason, we have to move out of the hosue we are renting into a two bedroom apt so we don't go broke, DS and SD will now have to share a room, the list goes on.
Oh, and the topper is BM has decided she wants her actual 50% of time, which has caused SD to start having major behavioral problems in school and with us. However, we were told we are being nit picky for bringing this up. We were also told that even though we know BM smokes pot, since it's just weed there is nothing we can do about it.
Any of the other CA Sm's and their DH's dealing with anythign similar? Any advice on where to go from here?
Our lawyer basically told us since we live in CA we need to just suck it up and pay her, even though there is absolutely NO reason she isn't working. If she would at least get a job it cuts the cs amount in half and we would be ok. We also found out that is DH is relocated we are totally screwed and will probably have to give up custody unless we can prove BM is turning tricks with a needle in her arm while SD watches....
Oh, but on the upside, DS is doing wonderful for being 5 weeks early. He is gaining weight and isn't really a fussy baby. Only cries when he is hungry/wet etc. I've got some great photos of his big sister feeding him and holding him. Even with all the BM drama me and DH are still enjoying our time with DS. We are pretty stressed and sleep deprived, but when he smiles I forget that for a minute or two 
Wow, sorry this is so long, hope everyone else is doing well
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Holy Duck! Note on drama, then calling my CA gals....
On our current CO, she doesn't recieve any CS, but DH and I literally pay for everything. BM is pretty much only responsible for feeding SD during her time, although we have provided groceries on occasion as well.
We have already filed an investigation against her for welfare and medical fraud, as she filed for SD, who has an able bodied parent and full medical through DH.
We are hoping when we sit down with CS services they will calculate it based on what she should be making....but as it turns out her being on welfare might prevent that.
CA has a messed up system.
Two things first:
Congrats again on DS!!! Yay! Good to hear he is healthy and you are doing well.
You're situation is sucky! Sorry!
I know that in Indiana, you can't claim the kids unless you have them 80% of the time, so that is interesting that she would barely take her 50% and claim her.
Sorry I don't have any advice, but good luck!?
I am from CA too and have been dealing with our lovely system as well. We have full custody of SD and we only get $322 a month! We have no idea how that happens since she works full time and drives a new Lexus and lives in Marina Del Rey. We are over here struggling like normal people and she is living the life of luxury with no responsiblities. It is tuff. When we filed for the case to be reviewed they told my DH that his income is higher than hers and they actually brought the support down $80. She doesn't show up to any of her court dates either and they just postpone them instead of seeing how irresponsible she is. I can relate to you... It is very frustrating! I had to stop working because I couldn't afford childcare anymore full time for 3 kids.
Wow.
1. Consider yourself lucky you missed the drama. It was lame BS.
2. Congrats on your baby!
3. Get a new lawyer. Seriously. If they tell you to just deal with it and that's just the way it is...that's BS. Texas can't be any worse or better than CA. DH went thru some of the same BS with SD's mom. The key is to find a lawyer that actually works for you, not the system.
Kyah YGPM
I wish we could get a new lawyer. We don't have a lot of options out here. If we were in So Cal we could use his brothers lawyer, who is amazing. Ahh but if wishes were horses....