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MIL & her dogs, did I over react?

softthundersoftthunder member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

We left our 3 week old baby for the first time for date night at the in-laws.  They have 6 indoor dogs (pomeranians and one pug) as well as one indoor cat.  It was made perfectly clear BEFORE the baby was born that all the animals will be confined to one bedroom when the baby is there at all times - especially when they babysit and neither my hubby nor I are there.  That was my biggest problem with them babysitting, my biggest concern, and they promised, they understood, etc.  Two days later we are at their house for dinner and I am shown a picture of the baby laying one the couch and the pug less than a foot away from her face!  I was flippin' speechless.  Are they kidding me?  Is this a joke?  Was the picture edited?  What the hell is going on here?!  Why would they do such a thing after we made it clear that under no circumstances were animals to be around her when we are gone.  Is this a respect issue?  Do they not respect us as parents and our wishes for our child?  It was the FIRST tiime they had babysat and they did this!  Hubby and I had an all out argument with each other - me saying there's no way in hell my baby is staying alone with them for a loooong time (unless it's at our house), him saying his dad said they wouldnt put the baby in danger.  I dont give a flying f what he said, that's not the point.  The point is we said NO and they went against it (the FIRST time!).

Am I supposed to trust them now, right away, after this happened?  Or is withdrawing to babysitting privledges at our house only reasonable?  On one hand I feel bad, on the other hand I'm still furious.  

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Re: MIL & her dogs, did I over react?

  • nofreespeechesnofreespeeches
    that's bullshiit. they should respect your wishes no matter what. and your husband should back you up. i would be L I V I D.
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  • ShleiShlei
    Honestly, I wouldn't be happy at all either. That is a lot of fur-babies!
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  • dragon_chicadragon_chica member
    No matter how well-trained the animal is they are still an ANIMAL.  And animals are unpredictable.  This isn't even your own dogs who may be accustomed to LO so I believe the danger factor is a lot higher.  That was wrong of the IL's to ignore your request and for DH to think nothing of it. 
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  • t.birdt.bird member

    they should obviously respect your wishes & i'd probably say something for sure- but may i ask why they have to confine all their animals to one room when the baby is there? seems a bit extreme- but that's just my opinion.

    i mean, are they not watching them?

    they can't do that forever i'd guess.

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  • Shawnna PandolphShawnna Pandolph
    My mom has three pugs and 2 cats. The cats want nothing to do with the baby but the pugs are all over DD all the time and I hate it! Her pugs have lots of skin problems and they STINK!!!! and they have claws and they are fat and heavy and I don't want them near DD... mom doesn't understand because we have indoor pets as well.
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  • JCM083009JCM083009

    Well, I think what they did is wrong if you requested something, they agreed, and then did not follow through.  Regardless of what that something was, they need to follow your wishes when asked. 

    However, yes I think it's overreacting to the situation. What do you think people with animals do when they have kids? Keep them separated all the time? We have 3 dogs who are around DS all the time, I am just careful that they cannot hurt him (by accident), lick him, etc.at this age. It won't hurt your baby to be in the same room as their dogs. 

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  • purple_posiespurple_posies
    imageJCM083009:

    Well, I think what they did is wrong if you requested something, they agreed, and then did not follow through.  Regardless of what that something was, they need to follow your wishes when asked. 

    However, yes I think it's overreacting to the situation. What do you think people with animals do when they have kids? Keep them separated all the time? We have 3 dogs who are around DS all the time, I am just careful that they cannot hurt him (by accident), lick him, etc.at this age. It won't hurt your baby to be in the same room as their dogs. 

    I think part of the worry here is that these dogs aren't around her LO all the time. Since there are so many of the, I'm sure it would be harder to keep track of them all; there also may be a greater risk of jealousy issues or Lord only knows what, y'know?  It's different when they're your own pets, but when they're someone else's in someone else's home, there's an element of the unknown. I can understand why the OP might have been leery of some danger issues.

    It really sucks that they completely went against what you said -- especially after they agreed to it. I think a lot of ILs would do something like that, but they were stupid to show you evidence. What did they have to say for themselves? If you haven't talked it over with them and get their reasoning/excuses, why argue with your DH about it yet?

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  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member

    I'm on the fence. Yes, they should honor their word - which means, if they promised to lock up the dogs while baby is there then they should have honored that word or flat out told you that your a nut for asking them.

    Aside from them not honoring their word - I don't have an issue as long as they really are supervising. Granted, we don't have THAT many animals but they are a part of our life and so we wouldn't restrict them to a room unless there were obviously behavioral issues.

    Did you talk with them about the picture? LOs are going to get hurt - it's a part of life. But of course, if you feel that LOs life was in danger or something then you should do what you feel is best.

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  • dennice79dennice79
    imagejacksjerseygirl:

    I'm on the fence. Yes, they should honor their word - which means, if they promised to lock up the dogs while baby is there then they should have honored that word or flat out told you that your a nut for asking them.

    Aside from them not honoring their word - I don't have an issue as long as they really are supervising. Granted, we don't have THAT many animals but they are a part of our life and so we wouldn't restrict them to a room unless there were obviously behavioral issues.

    Did you talk with them about the picture? LOs are going to get hurt - it's a part of life. But of course, if you feel that LOs life was in danger or something then you should do what you feel is best.

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  • surfistasurfista
    Yes. Frankly, your response (and your request in the first place) seems pretty nuts to me. But I've always been raised with animals and have grown not to trust people who don't trust them. 
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