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It's my sister who is pregnant

belle204belle204 member
in Parenting
I've b*tched a couple of times about someone being pregnant and me being unhappy b/c of the way she reacted towards me when I was pregnant. It's my middle sister. She sent me an email the other day that said, "Good morning, aunt T. Hope you have a good day." I didn't even reply I was so annoyed. She knows I'm not happy about it yet she constantly talks about "the baby" and me being an aunt. I'm really disappointed in myself that I can't make myself excited about having a niece or nephew. My youngest sister has already started buying things & sending her name lists ... I'm the one who changes the subject or makes an excuse to leave. Whatever, this post has no real reason except to blow off some more steam b/c everyone else is all happy so I can't really say anything.
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Re: It's my sister who is pregnant

  • oparcmoparcm
    Well, I can understand your feelings then, it makes sense.  But because this is not a friend and is a relative (and ya know ya don't get to pick'em) it makes it all that much more complicated because this now becomes A's cousin and your neice/nephew.  So despite not being thrilled, look at the child and what that baby will bring to you and A.
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  • Jodi&JoeJodi&Joe

    Oh those damn middle sisters --- trust when I tell you that they put their foot in their mouths more times than they would like to remember!  :)

    So take it FWIW, realize that she did not have the wisdom to NOT make such comments, and hopefully you can be happy about it soon!

    I apologize for her -- there are many things that I should apologize to my older sister about.  I was seriously just young, dumb, and naive!  I have regrets from when it was her turn to get married, have kids, etc.  I wish I had been there in a more positive way!!!  Maybe I'll tell her that someday!!!  :)

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  • belle204belle204 member

    Oparcm, sage advice. I will save my hostilities and say thanks. ;-)

    Jodi, you should def. let her know. I'm sure she would appreciate it. Sometimes those middle children should have their tongues ripped out. Stick out tongue

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  • JOEBunnyJOEBunny member
    Have you told her this?  It might make you feel better and her stop wondering why your "cold"?  No point in letting it fester.  Better to scream now and not miss out on the baby.
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  • MrsCali_BrideMrsCali_Bride member
    I had a feeling it was one of the sisters and I don't blame you one bit for not being excited.  I'm guessing she made some pretty hurtful comments to you during your pregnancy and over the past four years and her being pregnant isn't going to make what she said just go away.  I'm sure over time you'll warm up to the idea of having a niece or nephew but for now, don't feel bad about being upset about the situation.  Left Hug(((hugs)))Right Hug
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  • belle204belle204 member

    imageJOEBunny:
    Have you told her this?  It might make you feel better and her stop wondering why your "cold"?  No point in letting it fester.  Better to scream now and not miss out on the baby.

    Yes, I've told her and she understands. Yet she still talks about it non-stop. I'm just not in a place where I want to hear about it yet.

    Cali, she basically told me I should abort A and called me all kinds of names and posted nasty, public blogs about me on Myspace. She apologized but has said other stuff over the years, too. She's even told me I better not have any more kids. Everything that she came down on me for is almost exactly the same in her situation so it's very hypocritical and I'm upset she didn't learn from my "mistakes." I love her and want the best for her and now she loves A to death but I'm still having problems letting go of the bad feelings. I love babies so I'm sure I'll come around eventually.

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  • oparcmoparcm
    imagebelle204:

    imageJOEBunny:
    Have you told her this?  It might make you feel better and her stop wondering why your "cold"?  No point in letting it fester.  Better to scream now and not miss out on the baby.

    Yes, I've told her and she understands. Yet she still talks about it non-stop. I'm just not in a place where I want to hear about it yet.

    Cali, she basically told me I should abort A and called me all kinds of names and posted nasty, public blogs about me on Myspace. She apologized but has said other stuff over the years, too. She's even told me I better not have any more kids. Everything that she came down on me for is almost exactly the same in her situation so it's very hypocritical and I'm upset she didn't learn from my "mistakes." I love her and want the best for her and now she loves A to death but I'm still having problems letting go of the bad feelings. I love babies so I'm sure I'll come around eventually.

    oh Belle, she told you to abort A?  Now that is anger that will be hard to put aside.  I think the other posters might be right.  Have it out with her now before baby arrives.  Maybe tell her that she hurt you during your pg and that you are having a hard time being happy for her when she told you to abort A.  I'd ask her how she'd feel now if you told her the same thing?  It might be better to get it all out there.  But in the end, the baby will be here and ......  Anyway, I'd have to have it out on the abort thing.  My goodness.  Amarah is such a blessing.
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  • kancell724kancell724
    We've already talked so just wanted to say (((hugs))) for being in a difficult position. I get where you're coming from.
    Isabella Sophia 10/1/2006 Photobucket "little miss Avocado
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member

    I did not read the replies so sorry if they overlap.  Can you just call her and let her know how you feel?  Let her know that you are still very hurt about how she reacted when you got PG and that it is making it really hard for you to be happy for her and look forward to the baby.  Hopefully she will apologize and eat her words and you can move on, if she is a *** about it then you can figure out where to go from there but it certainly has to be better than being passive-aggressive.

    And I totally do not mean that as an insult to you, she was horrible to you when you needed support most so I totally understand and would honestly react the same way.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imageoparcm:
    imagebelle204:

    imageJOEBunny:
    Have you told her this?  It might make you feel better and her stop wondering why your "cold"?  No point in letting it fester.  Better to scream now and not miss out on the baby.

    Yes, I've told her and she understands. Yet she still talks about it non-stop. I'm just not in a place where I want to hear about it yet.

    Cali, she basically told me I should abort A and called me all kinds of names and posted nasty, public blogs about me on Myspace. She apologized but has said other stuff over the years, too. She's even told me I better not have any more kids. Everything that she came down on me for is almost exactly the same in her situation so it's very hypocritical and I'm upset she didn't learn from my "mistakes." I love her and want the best for her and now she loves A to death but I'm still having problems letting go of the bad feelings. I love babies so I'm sure I'll come around eventually.

    oh Belle, she told you to abort A?  Now that is anger that will be hard to put aside.  I think the other posters might be right.  Have it out with her now before baby arrives.  Maybe tell her that she hurt you during your pg and that you are having a hard time being happy for her when she told you to abort A.  I'd ask her how she'd feel now if you told her the same thing?  It might be better to get it all out there.  But in the end, the baby will be here and ......  Anyway, I'd have to have it out on the abort thing.  My goodness.  Amarah is such a blessing.

    Ok, I should have read it all first!  I would have a very hard time putting that aside...it would be one thing if she asked you if you were considering your options (and I personally do not consider abortion an option but you get my point) but to tell you that you should have one and then to continue being horrible is hard to move past.  That said, you will love the baby but it is hard to let go of that with your sister.  I still think that you need another heart-to-heart spelling it out for her.  Have you told her exactly why you were hurt and made a point that she told you to abort your DD and now is in the exact situation and how hurtful that would be to her?  If not, you need to.  It sounds like she is sorry now but without talking it all out the two of you will lose time together.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • veloelleveloelle member

    Let it out on here. We have a very similar situation in our family w/ an extended family member. No one is happy in the family, and no one really acknowledged the birth.

    I've wanted to post about the situation numerous times, but always thought I'd sound like a b!tch. But, it's how we feel.

    DD 7.28.06 * DS 3.29.10
    image

    Christmas 2011
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  • DandelionMomDandelionMom

    (((hugs))) I figured it was like that.  Sorry. 

    But you know first hand what it feels like to be in her shoes so she probably is reaching out like that because she's sorry now for what she put you through. 

    Give yourself a little time and then start to celebrate being an aunt. 

    .
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