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Attachment Parenting
Co-Sleepers - how do you handle night wakings?
I sort of thought that by 1 year my son would have had less night wakings and I also sort of imagined that co-sleeping would make the night wakings less? We put him in his pack n play when he goes to sleep around 7:30-8 and after his first waking, I usually bring him into our bed until the morning where he wakes to nurse and go right back to sleep. When he wakes up he is immediately sitting up and sometimes crawling around - which is not safe on a bed...so I nurse him back to sleep so that he stops! Is there another way to handle this?
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Re: Co-Sleepers - how do you handle night wakings?
We started the transition at 8 months by moving the crib in our room, we weren't bed sharing anymore by 12 months, and he was in his own room at 14 months, so it was a very SLOW transition. We used NCSS, so no crying for us.
We started with the crib in our room and putting him in it at the beginning of the night. If he woke up at night, I moved him into our bed. If he woke up again and wouldn't go right back down by nursing, I put him back in his crib. Eventually he just wanted me to put him back in his crib.
Once he moved to his own room we continued to soothe him if he woke up, but realized that he was waking less by being in his own room. We also followed NCSS's advice that babies make noise in their sleep. They grunt, moan, whimper and sometimes even cry. We made the rule that he had to really let us know he needed us, otherwise he was fine (this was after he consistently fell asleep on his own for nap and bedtime and we knew he could indeed self soothe). We have a video monitor so it's a lot easier to see if he really needs us or not.
I usually go and nurse him, unless he recently nursed, then I send in DH to soothe him. If after 10 min he is not going back down for DH, I go try nursing again. This rarely happens. He doesn't wake much at night either, maybe once per night every now and then. He sleeps 7 pm until 5:30 am, nurses, then goes back to sleep until 7 or 8 am.
"If he woke up again and wouldn't go right back down by nursing, I put him back in his crib. Eventually he just wanted me to put him back in his crib."
What did he do when you put him back in his crib if he didn't fall asleep by nursing? At this point, my son would be crying which and reaching out for me
This is when I have no idea what to do - he sometimes won't settle by nursing and won't just lay down in bed trying to soothe himself.
It was a progression definitely, but when we first started he would cry and reach out for me. I would of course pick him up and rock him, try to shsh him, pat his back. We also introduced a crib soother and white noise at that time, both of which helped him to associate those things with sleep time. When I couldn't rock him anymore, my DH took over rocking him. He would usually fall asleep within 15-20 min of my DH doing it. When he got too big to rock to sleep (around 12 months since he was 27 lbs and 33 in) then we laid him down and patted his back. If he didn't go back to sleep in 20 m in then I would try nursing again.
What we didn't allow was for him to crawl all over the bed or interact/play with him. If he wanted to stay up playing in his crib we were okay with that and eventually he did just that, but not until about 12/13 months after we had been doing the nursing/rocking/patting thing since 8 months.
We follow the same thing now - we don't interact with him but if he wants to play on his own he can. If he cries, but won't be rocked, patted or nursed to sleep then one of us will stay in the room for 20 min until he falls asleep. sometimes we think he just gets a little lonely. Other times he is fine without one of us in the room so we always try to leave the room to see what he will do.
Now when I nurse him in the morning, he is half asleep after nursing and signs 'all done' and arches his back to let me know he wants to be put in his crib. When he's done, he doesn't like if I try to nurse, rock or pat him if he wants back in his crib. My DH says the same thing - sometimes he just doesn't want to be held, rocked, or patted. Again it was a progression and it's only been in the last 2 months that we've seen this 'all done' behavior.
ETA: We used many of the techniques in NCSS to get to this point to reduce night wakings. At the worst my DS would wake every hour to either eat or play. Within 2 months we reduced the wakings from 12 per night to 3 per night. After teething, illness, vacation we eventually cut night wakings out all together.
The things that helped the most: dressing him warmer for bedtime (used to snuggling with us), strict and lengthy bedtime routine, 'pull off' method to remove suck to sleep association, having an alternate person (DH) use alternate methods (patting, rocking, shsh'ing) besides nursing to soothe, white noise and crib soother, introduce a lovey, and agree with each other that CIO wasn't an option.
I REALLY appreciate the time you took to reply back. I have the NCSS and have been reading it but I haven't really put them into use. Thanks again - it is definitely comforting to know of people who have succeeded without making their LO's cry so hard.