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NBR: Is there a difference between venting and talking behind someone's back?

robbie3982robbie3982 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I posted a vent about a (now former) friend/coworker the other day, which I'm guessing she saw (hi, thanks for e-stalking me if you're reading this one too!) since she's not friends with the only 2 other people I vented to (DH and my bff).  As far as I knew, she didn't use the bump.

I honestly don't think I did anything wrong by venting and never meant for her to see it, but the more I think about it, I guess there really isn't a difference between venting and talking about someone behind their back, other than the bad connotation that the latter has.

What's your opinion?

Oh, and incase you're wondering, I found out that she's mad at me for talking about her (and others??? no idea who these others are) and doesn't want to be friends with me through her facebook status. 

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Re: NBR: Is there a difference between venting and talking behind someone's back?

  • cedenscedens member

    yea its a tough one- there is a fine line

    i think if i saw someone venting about me, i would consider it "talking behind my back" but everyone vents- i vent too and i dont mean it to be talking behind their backs- so i can see both sides

    if you want to still be friends just explain to her- if not then ohhhhh well, she will get over it! 

    sticky...very sticky haha

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  • mrs. remymrs. remy

    I think there is a difference between venting to a board of strangers and discussing the issues with IRL people. Everyone on my local board vents from time to time....sometimes you just need to get things off your chest. Unfortunately it has backfired on a couple people because either friends or family members of the person saw the vent.  I think you just have to be super super careful what you post. I may be paranoid, but I always assume people are e-stalking me.

     

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  • mavilabridemavilabride member
    imagemrs. remy <3:

    I think there is a difference between venting to a board of strangers and discussing the issues with IRL people.

    This.  We're all "strangers" so you venting about a friend/coworker (who is a stranger to all of us) is just that, a vent.

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  • robbie3982robbie3982 member
    imagecedens:

    yea its a tough one- there is a fine line

    i think if i saw someone venting about me, i would consider it "talking behind my back" but everyone vents- i vent too and i dont mean it to be talking behind their backs- so i can see both sides

    if you want to still be friends just explain to her- if not then ohhhhh well, she will get over it! 

    sticky...very sticky haha

    Eh, I'm kind of over saving the friendship.  I can't stand when people are passive aggressive like that.  If you're mad at me and you want me to know about it, tell me.  We're adults.

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  • cedenscedens member
    imagerobbie3982:
    imagecedens:

    yea its a tough one- there is a fine line

    i think if i saw someone venting about me, i would consider it "talking behind my back" but everyone vents- i vent too and i dont mean it to be talking behind their backs- so i can see both sides

    if you want to still be friends just explain to her- if not then ohhhhh well, she will get over it! 

    sticky...very sticky haha

    Eh, I'm kind of over saving the friendship.  I can't stand when people are passive aggressive like that.  If you're mad at me and you want me to know about it, tell me.  We're adults.

    right, agreed!

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  • bluepenelopebluepenelope
    imagerobbie3982:


    Oh, and incase you're wondering, I found out that she's mad at me for talking about her (and others??? no idea who these others are) and doesn't want to be friends with me through her facebook status.?

    ?

    what!!! ?She called you out in her FB status!! wtf! ?

    wait.. are you in junior high??? ?

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  • robbie3982robbie3982 member
    imagebluepenelope:
    imagerobbie3982:


    Oh, and incase you're wondering, I found out that she's mad at me for talking about her (and others??? no idea who these others are) and doesn't want to be friends with me through her facebook status. 

     

    what!!!  She called you out in her FB status!! wtf!  

    wait.. are you in junior high???  

    LOL, I know, right?  I'm 26 and she's in her early 30's. 

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  • deeanneharrisdeeanneharris
    Now I am curious about the original post... was it something bad or just lame?
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  • robbie3982robbie3982 member

    imagedeeanneharris:
    Now I am curious about the original post... was it something bad or just lame?

    I don't think it was so bad, but still not something I would have said to her face, hence the online vent.  I'm guessing this is what she saw (can't be sure though since all I know about it is what I read in her fbook status):

    https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/23464829.aspx

    If this isn't what she saw, then I have no idea what she's talking about.

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  • deeanneharrisdeeanneharris
    imagerobbie3982:

    imagedeeanneharris:
    Now I am curious about the original post... was it something bad or just lame?

    I don't think it was so bad, but still not something I would have said to her face, hence the online vent.  I'm guessing this is what she saw (can't be sure though since all I know about it is what I read in her fbook status):

    https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/23464829.aspx

    If this isn't what she saw, then I have no idea what she's talking about.

    Agree. She could have just asked you about it instead of posting something as a cryptic fb status.

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  • CalinsBrideCalinsBride
    I don't think its considered talking behind their back unless the person you're venting to knows the person you're venting about.
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  • Mr. & Mrs. RNMr. & Mrs. RN member

    imageCalinsBride:
    I don't think its considered talking behind their back unless the person you're venting to knows the person you're venting about.

    This.  I think there is def a difference.  Venting is not meant to be hurtful or malicious toward said person.  Talking behind their back usually is.

     

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