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Parenting
almostjennifer
member
So horribly, horribly frustrated with potty training
almostjennifer
member
in Parenting
DD is almost 31/2, extremely verbal, intelligent, responsive and developmentally on target in every way. So, we tried potty training this June for two weeks. After two weeks of cleaning sh*t out of her underwear, we decided to put her back in diapers and try again later. Thank God her preschool was OK with this. So, we are now on day 8 of our second attempt and I just cleaned up my second piss puddle of the morning.
Should I give up again? She says she wants to wear underwear, but makes little to no attempt to go on the toilet on her own and resists when I suggest it.
I am sitting here trying not to cry. I just don't understand. You name it, we've done it (M&Ms, sticker charts, having her choose whether to wear underwear or not). I am so frustrated and getting angry with her, which makes me ashamed.
SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
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Re: So horribly, horribly frustrated with potty training
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Potty training sucks. . . especially that first day. There is nothing fun about it. My DD was also over 3 and told me that she'd "prefer to wear diapers." I was like, "If you're articulate enough to say that, you're too old."
I went boot-camp style. No diapers in the house, underwear only (even for naps and bed). We stayed inside for 3 days. ZERO success on day 1, but then it started to click. I put the onus on her: "YOU tell me when you have to use the potty." And if she started to have an accident, I ran her to the potty to finish. The idea is that they need to feel the sensation (instead of just putting them on the potty every half hour).
And even though I didn't feel like it, I was extremely positive the whole time. . . even though our whole house was carpeted in white carpet I just smiled and told her that, "Next time we should get it in the potty." It killed me because that's not really the way I am, but it helped to be super-positive.
It did take her quite a while for poop and I don't think that's unusual, so that may be something you have to put up with for a while (we held a really special prize as her "carrot" for poop training).
I had a late potty trainer too so I know how frustrating it is (and that gettiing angry doesn't help at all!).
Have you tried naked time? Sometimes that really helps them figure it out.
Sometimes a bigger incentive will work. Like tell her that she can't go to dance class in a diaper but if she's using the potty you can sign her up (the dance class my DDs were in required potty training).
Ugh, I know how you feel my DD was late too. She was about 3.5 when she finally got it. What finally worked for us was I went and bought a ton of prizes for her and every time she got 5 stickers she got to pick a prize. Eventually she really got into it and I had some pretty good prizes (yes I believe in bribery!). She's been doing it for quite awhile now and unlike your preschool, ours would not let her come unless she was trained. Our one issue was and remained going #2 on the potty. That didn't happen so fast and only within the last two weeks has she been actually doing that.
I also made her sit on there and that was part of the problem - she was too busy and didn't want to sit there or stop to go. It's hard not to get upset - I know what you mean.
Put her on the toliet every 30 minutes - no matter where you are. Home, daycare, or out shopping. Every 30 minutes she sits on the toliet. If she goes, she gets a reward. Don't ask her, just put her on there.
DS had turned 3 in Feb and I did that in April. Within a couple weeks he was fully potty trained.
I was going to ask about her being naked on the bottom too. That's the only thing that worked with all three of mine. If they had *anything* on their bottom half, they would forget to go to the potty and have an accident (in the beginning). But if we left them naked, they were so aware of themselves, that it reminded them to pay attention to what was going on down there and they would run to the potty when they felt that sensation to go. Both of my girls PT pretty early, but I am just now getting around to DS. He didn't like being naked at first. But we have been home for four days now, and he hasn't had an accident for the last two. And he's pooping in the potty as well. Today he is in pants for the first time and he is remembering to go to the potty without accident!
If you can stay home for a few days, she if she will go naked on the bottom, even if it's under a dress (if she's uncomfortable being completely naked). It might work!
I wrote a frustration post almost identical to this nearly a month ago. We'd tried here and there to get DD to go on the potty (put her in underwear, had accidents, etc.). She had a sticker chart, M&Ms, Thomas trains--any bribe in the book, basically.
I'm not sure what will work for your DD (mine was one month shy of 3.5 when we decided we were once and for all finished with the damn pull ups--so I feel your pain!!!). We decided on Labor Day weekend (we thought we needed three straight days at home) and warned her weeks in advance that we were "running out" of pull ups.
DD's problem was that she couldn't, or wouldn't, go on the potty chair. She didn't necessarily have accidents, she just did not want to use the toilet. So on the first day, after holding it from the time she woke up until 1:30 in the afternoon, she was crying for a pull up because she knew she had to go. We would NOT give in (though I was worried about waiting too long). She FINALLY went after sitting on her potty chair countless times that morning.
She had two accidents that weekend (one while she was out and one just after a nap) and except for a few more accidents around naptime, she's been perfectly fine in the four weeks since. We weren't even going to push the poop thing (we offered to put her in a pull up for that) but she decided she could do that, too.
The one good thing about late potty training is that it happens basically overnight. The bad thing is that you are so dang frustrated that it is taking so long that it is hard to enjoy that.
She really got into the sticker chart AFTER she started going--it wasn't incentive for her to START, but she was so excited to put stickers on her chart once she started. We kept that up for a few days and then jointly forgot about it.
Good luck! There are some of us with truly "late" potty-trainers...and I know how frustrated you feel!