I was wondering.. — The Bump
TTC after 35

I was wondering..

If I am the only one who is feeling discouraged.??? I feel like this BFP will never happen. AF came today (A day early with literally no symptoms..) I was just wondering if anyone has felt this way?
"Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!

Re: I was wondering..

  • Oh yes, I feel like this frequently.  I just can't imagine ever seeing two lines on a pregnancy test.  Sometimes, I go lurk on SAIF just to see all the women who had trouble eventually have success.  It makes me feel better.  I figure they probably felt like this a lot too.

    Sorry about AF.

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  • When I was TTC #1 I felt like that every single month for a total of almost 17 months.  I know that's not as long as some people, but it does start to get to you. 

    Try to keep your chin up--you all are headed in the right direction and your DH's latest prognosis are making things so much more possible!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker TTC #1 Cycle #18 m/c Jan. 9, 2007, chemical pg May 4, 2007, methotrexate shot Oct. 5, 2007--m/c Oct. 9, 2007, IUI Nov. 17, 2007 It worked! beta 11/30 & 12/6 TTC #2 Cycle #5 IUI July 20, 2009 -BFN 8-3-09 Cycle #6 IUI August 17, 2009-BFP! 8-31-09, beta 9-1-09, 9-8-09, saw the H/B 9-22-09 EDD 5-10-10
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  • No you are not.  I am too. I feel exactly like you. I have AF symptoms today and know she is coming.  For the first time in my life, I am really starting to think that a BFP may never happen for me (or at least not without a lot of ART intervention).

    Keep hanging in there though.  I do know a lot of stories of couples who felt hopeless and ended up pg one way or another!

  • I think it may not happen for me at least once a day.  And I'm just getting started with everything, but my [old] age is really making me feel discouraged.  I'm already thinking about the financial implications of treatments and/or adoption and I haven't even been to the RE yet.  ::sigh::

     

     
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  • Soooo discouraged, my beta was actually up marginally today...3 days post methotrexate, arg! Re told us IVF is our only option at this point due to my tubes being shot (no trouble getting ku, just KU in my uterus and then getting it to stick). DH has agreed to the 3rd and final round of IVF (all oop), so that's looming in the distant future. Still have to have the post pg follow up with the re, but my beta has to be negative. On another note, a girl at work today was complaining about being 12 weeks and still not sure if she wants to have kids....moral victory, I refrained from kicking her in the hoo-ha. Hang in there, this board has been a lifesaver for me.   
    1 ectopic 3 m/c's prior to 5/05 Un-freaking-explained IF 5/05 IVF, BFN 9/05 FET 3d5e, BFP = Beautiful Baby Girl (lucky pg #5) 8/08 Fet 3d5e, cp 12/08 IVF with PGD, transfer 3, BFN 5/09 FET transfer 4, BFN Hail Mary IUI with Follistim 9/11 BFP; 9/22 confirmed tubal/MTX 4/10 FET 3d5e, BFP!!!! m/c 5/26/10 1 year break and yet another m/c 5/11 FET #5 initial beat 121, second beta 7 Lap and removal of L tube and very mild endo 7/11 Suprise BFP 12/11 & m/c @ 8 wks. After 11 losses and one beautiful miracle our journey is over, we are thankful and at peace.
  • Sadly, at this point, I feel this way on a daily basis.

    I feel like it is going to take a miracle to get and keep me PG. :( 

    After 3 1/2 LONG years, 3 miscarriages, 2 IVFs and 2 FETs... we have been blessed with a beautiful boy!



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  • It is comforting to here your responses..today I just feel hopeless..how did CathyMD put it...onward!!!! Tommorrow may be a better day.
    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
  • I feel ya!  Especially this last time!
  • Ummm...yes.  I am right there with you.  I was very very upset with my last cycle, BFN, AF.  It took me a few days (and wine) to move beyond it.   I also felt the same before my BFP with DD.  That was the longest 2 years ever.  I may be in it for 2 years this time too.  Sad  Very depressing...
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  • Like hav2run, this has been the longest two years of my life too - but even if I have the thought that this will never happen - even for a fleeting moment - I stop myself from thinking it immediately.  I am very, very hopeful that this WILL happen for me.  I won't lie, it's very hard to be in this position, but I remain hopeful no matter what...

  • In Feb I hit 5 years in TTC.. it's been the longest and ruffest 5 years of my life. I cry now everytime I get a bfn as I feel like it's never going to happen. I feel bad for my husband cause he wants kids and I'm the reason it's not happening.
  • imagebaze2:
    It is comforting to here your responses..today I just feel hopeless..how did CathyMD put it...onward!!!! Tommorrow may be a better day.

    That's it. Onwards. What else can one do?

    I hope you feel alittle better today Baze babes.

  • Yes - I have felt this way.  I think it is quite common...kind of a roller coaster ride of emotions each cycle....

    (((HUGS)))

  • Yep, and I think it's normal.  I have days where I just can't even *fathom* wtf is going on...I mean, I have two kids already, what is so hard about making another one?!? 

    Then I have to remind myself that I'm not in the driver's seat on this and take one day at a time.

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  • Amye,

    I'm sure your DH has said this to you, but let me say it, anyway:

     Your husband would rather be with you than anyone else in the world - reproductive issues or not.

    (((hugs)))

     

  • Hi, Baze.

    I hope you're feeling better today!

    I certainly feel discouraged at times. It's hard not too, when it's the same old cycle of determination, then hope, then disappointment month after month. It's emotionally draining.

    What has helped me, other than the fantastic women on this board, is to give myself permission to take a break  whenever I feel I need to.

    This month, for example, I'm not temping. I didn't feel like it, that's why!  :)

  • imagejoyfulnature:


    Amye,

    I'm sure your DH has said this to you, but let me say it, anyway:

     Your husband would rather be with you than anyone else in the world - reproductive issues or not.

    (((hugs)))


     

     

    Awww thats so sweet. Thanks.

    I know he don't judge me but I know it hurts him as it does me when we have another fail. Big thing is his parents are in their 70's so he wants them to know their granschildren before they pass and sometimes it's alot of pressure on me when we fail.

    Hoping this October will be lucky one though.

  • imageAmyeJean:
    imagejoyfulnature:


    Amye,

    I'm sure your DH has said this to you, but let me say it, anyway:

     Your husband would rather be with you than anyone else in the world - reproductive issues or not.

    (((hugs)))


     

    Awww thats so sweet. Thanks.

    I know he don't judge me but I know it hurts him as it does me when we have another fail. Big thing is his parents are in their 70's so he wants them to know their granschildren before they pass and sometimes it's alot of pressure on me when we fail.

    Hoping this October will be lucky one though.

    I'm hoping October will be lucky for you, too - and that his parents live a good, long time and get to enjoy many years with the grands!

  • Most definitely! With my recent BFN where I was soo very hopeful & felt I put my whole heart & soul into that cycle, I would've never thought I'd be in a position to do it all over again.  It's so very stressful!!  I wish those that have BFP so much luck & i'm not envious of my sister (who's due with her 2nd any minute); or my other 2 good friends who are about 6w preg.. one with twins, and the husband didn't even want to try for ONE more.. but it sure is devastating.  very discouraged here too! :(
    IVF - 9/09 - BFN! :( IVF #2 - ER 3/16; ET 3/18 with one embryo Beta 3/30 -- BFN! :( IVF #3 - 5/10 - BFN! IVF #4 - 11/10 - BFP. m/c at 6weeks :( FET #1 - 2/11 - BFP. beta on 2/21 :) Thank you God! :) u/s on 3/7 showed TWINS! u/s on 3/11 TWO heartbeats! Couldn't be happier :)
  • You are definitely not the only one feeling that way! I am actually hopeful this month (FF gave us a "high" chance of success and I took my femara). I got down in the dumps when I realized that we started this journey over a year ago. I keep telling myself that it WILL happen. I have to remind myself that my friends/cousin who got pregnant without planning it have had a life change they weren't counting on, etc. It is so incredibly hard some times to keep your chin up and your attitude positive. I am just thankful that I have this board to vent to!
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  • Thanks...I think we are all in the same boat...I have decided to go down fighting!!! October is pointless..I will be in Atlanta for the week of O..On to November..
    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
  • Yup... that is one reason I haven't been posting too much lately.  Tired of being a debbie downer, kind of taking a break from posting....  But, as always wishing everybody the best of luck!!!!
    TTC since Oct 2008 Me =43, DH =45 Dx = Intermittant Ovarian Failure, High FSH, DOR Pursuing DE since Oct 2010 PAIF/SAIF welcome. DE IVF 12/10/11, we transferred 2 embryos on day 3, 1 grade A 8 cell and 1 grade A 4 cell. 1st Beta = 890 on 12/23/11. 2nd beta = 10,967 on 12/28/11. 1st U/S 1/11/12 TWINS! Both with 139 hb.

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  • I struggle with staying positive too, and sometimes I feel like giving up. That's what we're all here for- to keep each other up and to move onward as CathyMD says.
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