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another shower question

americanadaamericanada
in 2nd Trimester
friend A once hinted at throwing a shower, very early on.  i have a suspicion that friend B may ask about throwing one, but how do you broach that subject to friend A without being presumptious.  i don't want to flat out ask friend A, but wouldn't want her feelings hurt if she didn't get to throw the shower.  i would never ask anyone, i just want to do the tactful thing.  thanks.
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Re: another shower question

  • lifesajourneylifesajourney
    Maybe you could mention to friend B that you got the impression that friend A was thinking about throwing you a shower if she does ask.  Explain to her that you are not being presumptuous, but that was the impression you got from her early on.  Maybe you could direct friend B directly to friend A to sort out between the 2 of them. 
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  • MFalorMFalor member
    I don't know what the problem is.  So far, neither has actually come up to you and said, "Hey I want to throw you a shower, let's get together and talk about the details."  It's Friend A's own fault if she only hinted at it and never did anything.
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  • jenny1980jenny1980 member

    What does "she hinted at" mean?

    Until someone says, "I would like to throw you a shower", no one has claims to it. Do the two know each other? If so, perhaps they could co-host if they're both interested.

     

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  • americanadaamericanada
    friend A just threw another pg friend a shower and it was 2 weeks before her due date.  i found that kind of late.  i just want to be prepared for when the subject comes up, b/c i don't think friend A will bring it up anytime soon.  i would feel bad if i let someone else throw it and friend A feels like i should have known she wanted to do it.  she's not the type to say anything if that were to happen.  she's been very good to me and dh and i wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. 
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  • tzolktzolk
    At 13 weeks I'm sure friend A hasn't mentioned it again since there is plenty of time ahead before she would throw one. If it bugs you that much just tell friend B to approach friend A and let them hash it out.
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  • MFalorMFalor member

    imageamericanada:
    friend A just threw another pg friend a shower and it was 2 weeks before her due date.  i found that kind of late.  i just want to be prepared for when the subject comes up, b/c i don't think friend A will bring it up anytime soon.  i would feel bad if i let someone else throw it and friend A feels like i should have known she wanted to do it.  she's not the type to say anything if that were to happen.  she's been very good to me and dh and i wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. 

    Well, then just ask her, "Hey, were you serious about throwing me a baby shower?  Cuz someone else just offered and I wasn't sure where you stood..."

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  • americanadaamericanada
    the hint came when she asked me to help with ideas for her other pg friend's shower and when she decided against the theme we talked about, she said 'we'll save that one for your shower' or 'we'll do that one at your shower', something like that.  but she's got a lot on her plate right now w/finances and a new 6 month old in addition to her 3 yr old and i wouldn't want her to feel obligated if she feels she can't swing it.  she mentioned something about the expense after the shower she just threw for her other friend.
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  • blossomblossom

    When someone says "I want to throw you a shower, please provide me a guest/address list" then you know they are truly planning on hosting a shower for you.

    Whomever says that first, friend A, B or someone else is the person who is serious about it. You don't have to ask or broach anyone about the shower, if they are serious about hosting they will come to you and say something concrete and not hint.

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  • seniah_05seniah_05

    imageamericanada:
    the hint came when she asked me to help with ideas for her other pg friend's shower and when she decided against the theme we talked about, she said 'we'll save that one for your shower' or 'we'll do that one at your shower', something like that.  but she's got a lot on her plate right now w/finances and a new 6 month old in addition to her 3 yr old and i wouldn't want her to feel obligated if she feels she can't swing it.  she mentioned something about the expense after the shower she just threw for her other friend.

    Based on this - don't sweat it for a few weeks unless someone else flat out says "I want to throw you a shower - when is a good time for you?"  Then tell that person you aren't sure and had someone else mention a shower in passing, could you let them know in a day or two?  And if this other person is interested would they be interested in co-hosting? 

    Otherwise, let it ride for awhile as you've just begun your 2nd tri and most showers aren't thrown until 29-34 weeks. 

    TTC since 2005. DS via IVF - 02/10 Baby #2 - due 10/16/11
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