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Think SAHM friend upset a WM friend
So one of my best friends is a SAHM. She is very sweet but does have a habit of putting in her two cents about women who work, such as "it is not good for a child," etc. I just don't think she realizes what she does. We have a new person in our circle who is a WM who just had a baby. Well the sahm friend must have said something because she said that the wm was very short with her and told her no she did not want any help. I know it could be hormones too but I have a sneaky suspicion that she said something inappropriate about her going back to work soon. My friend is a like a dog with a bone and just won't let it drop. She does not understand why this person does not want to talk with her. Should I say anything or just keep my trap shut?
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Re: Think SAHM friend upset a WM friend
Well, you don't know what was said. W/o that - I have to say "stay out of it".
But when SAH friend said the WM didn't want her help, what exactly did she say/offer? Ask her if you don't know. If she tells you, and if it IS in fact along the lines of SAH vs WM - then if you really want, you can say "Well, friend, I appreciate that you feel SAH is important. However, that's not the choice that all women want or can make and it can really be offensive to people if you make comments that say they are wrong for working.... This may be why she's upset."
Because really- she needs to realize that making judgements like that IS offensive.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
She absolutely realizes what she does, and it's not "very sweet." Stay out of it.
For years, we all were like "Oh- but she doesn't really realize what she's saying". And she was once even called on a certain set of comments - to which she played the "Oh, but I didn't realize... that's not what I meant"card-
And long story short - now, I know a lot better. She was a smart girl and knew EXACTLY what she was saying. But doing the "Sweet" thing fooled people for a long time.
I agree w/ Roxy- she knows exactly what shes saying. Which is exactly why I think it would be great for someone to call her on it!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
It appears to me that your WM friend is trying to get rid of having this person in her life. Makes sense to me as a "friend" who has to constantly give their two cents and make you feel like crap is no friend at all. Tell your sahm friend you have no idea and that she should ask wm friend if she's so concerned about it. It has nothing to do with you.
Ladies I so appreciate your responses. I have chosen myself to distance myself from this individual because of her comments but this poor gal only lives a block from her. I would like to call the wm friend, not say anything about what is going on but just check on her and say hello. She is new to our circle so I think it would go a long way since I am the only wm out of the 10 friends.