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I need my Nestie Besties

momofoliviamomofolivia
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

My boss's boss pulled me and my boss into his office today to tell me that I can't come into work late anymore and he asked me if I am miserable at work because it shows.

So I am not good at getting citicism, and so i start blubbering like a baby, had to excuse myself.  then i came back, and basically told him that i make up my time, i am salaried.  But he wasn't having any of it.

Then I told him (and my boss since she was sitting right there) that I WAS miserable, but I didn't think that I was showing it.  He said that since he hired me, he knew how enthusiastic i used to be and how i am not anymore.

I told him that my job has completely changed, that they keep piling work on me without taking any away (but "you do a great job! with it all!"). 

So i pour my heart out, crying, tell them i am overwhelmed and doing things that don't make me happy, and what is his response?  nothing is going to change. literally - exact words.

I just don't know what to do.  I have been miserable in this job for 2.5 years.  I am in counseling over it.  DH and I are constantly bickering because of the stress levels.  Quitting would be financially feasible only with DRASTIC changes. (sell our car for cluncker kind of changes).  I have been agressively job searching for months now.  I just feel like i am at the end of my rope.  I don't want to let this job to ruin my life. :(

just need some advice, kind words from my nestie besties.  :(

 

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Re: I need my Nestie Besties

  • KellyOsu23KellyOsu23

    Quit

    Find something that makes you happy, if that means SAHM and cutting back so be it.

    The job isnt worth the stress or strain on your marriage

    Also, I gurantee you after the talk and then breakdown they are considering their own options.

    I have been there, I just stood up and walked out 2 days after one of those talks and it was the best descision I made. The company ended up folding 6 months later, but thats another story :)

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  • cjtcccjtcc

    Honestly, there is no car, house, material item worth being this miserable at a job for. When it's effecting your family life, it's time for a change. I am so sorry that you feel this way, and I know the job market just sucks right now. But I don't think you would regret any changes you had to make if you were happy.

     

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  • bridesrighthandbridesrighthand member

    Absolutely, without a doubt....quit that job.  IMO, anything that makes you THAT miserable, to the point of counseling, is not worth it.  You are only making yourself, your husband and your child miserable, by staying there.  Be a SAHM for a bit, until you find something else.  Life is TOO EFFING SHORT to be miserable.

     

    HUGS!

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  • soontobecapeksoontobecapek member

    it's one thing to be at a job that doesn't make you happy, a whole different deal when it actually makes you miserable to the point of counseling... If you were to quit is it really that drastic (like if you subtract childcare and commute) because you don't want to hurt yourself worse by doing that either... KWIM? I'd say if it's at all possible go for it,do you have any way to make money from home? (i.e etsy, Chacha, etc...) I'm sorry you actually have to make this choice...

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  • ILoveBoysILoveBoys member
    I agree. I'd quit if AT ALL possible. Brainstorm every possible way w/your husband. Like pp said, even if you have to "do without" certain things for a while, YOU and your HAPPINESS are completely worth it. I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through this right before I got married. Was at a job for 2 yrs and had miserable for a while bc of change in management. Came home crying almost everynight about it. Finally DH told me I needed to just quit and we would figure it out. Within a few months I'd been able to find a new job, doing something I really enjoyed. I hope this is the case for you.
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  • Sept17.05BrideSept17.05Bride
    imageKellyOsu23:

    Quit

    Find something that makes you happy, if that means SAHM and cutting back so be it.

    The job isnt worth the stress or strain on your marriage

    Also, I gurantee you after the talk and then breakdown they are considering their own options.

    I have been there, I just stood up and walked out 2 days after one of those talks and it was the best descision I made. The company ended up folding 6 months later, but thats another story :)

    Ditto this.  I am so sorry you are going through this.  (((Hugs)))

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  • MamaNikkiMamaNikki
    Gosh MOO. My heart is breaking for you. I have tears welling up in my eyes, because NO ONE deserves to be miserable like that. I'm so sorry. I know it's not a decision to be taken lightly, but...I don't think it's worth it either.

    What does your DH say about all of this? If it's really feasible for you to quit and keep looking for a job for a while, I would.

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  • KUJayhawkBrideKUJayhawkBride

    It sounds like your boss is a careless prick, imo. He needs a lesson in employee relations. Sorry you are going through all that, what a nightmare. 

    Personally, I would quit. Life is too short. I would work my butt off trying to find something I was more happy doing, but in the meantime, be a happier person and get to spend more time with DD! :)

     

    Good luck. HUGS. 

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  • moroccojademoroccojade member

    So the choice is a nice car or your sanity?  I'd, without a doubt, choose the sanity. Hugs.

     

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  • momofoliviamomofolivia

    Thanks ladies.  This morning I am more mad than upset like i was last night.

    this morning i am mad that my bosses couldn't say - wow we didn't realize it was this bad.  let's work together to see what we can do to make it a little easier for you within the confines of our resources.  but no - it was basically suck it up.

     I told DH that the meeting was kinda like a "come to jesus" meeting for me.  This is kinda the last straw for me.  I told him that we have to sit down and really discuss our options.  One idea I had was to keep job searching and wait it out until the end of the year.  Whether or not I have a new job, I quit.  That will give us 3 months to save like crazy for me to be out of work.  My timing is impeccable with this economy!

    I am just afriad like pp said - my bosses might have it out for me now. I have seen them do it to others, so it is not unlikely.  Now everything I do they will be looking for things to catch me on.  I feel like a sitting duck. I'd rather quit than be fired.

    But on a good note - i got into work 10 minutes early!

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  • abpdjsabpdjs
    imagemomofolivia:

    Thanks ladies.  This morning I am more mad than upset like i was last night.

    this morning i am mad that my bosses couldn't say - wow we didn't realize it was this bad.  let's work together to see what we can do to make it a little easier for you within the confines of our resources.  but no - it was basically suck it up.

     I told DH that the meeting was kinda like a "come to jesus" meeting for me.  This is kinda the last straw for me.  I told him that we have to sit down and really discuss our options.  One idea I had was to keep job searching and wait it out until the end of the year.  Whether or not I have a new job, I quit.  That will give us 3 months to save like crazy for me to be out of work.  My timing is impeccable with this economy!

    I am just afriad like pp said - my bosses might have it out for me now. I have seen them do it to others, so it is not unlikely.  Now everything I do they will be looking for things to catch me on.  I feel like a sitting duck. I'd rather quit than be fired.

    But on a good note - i got into work 10 minutes early!

    i agree with kellyosu23 and i think you have a good plan in mind but you are right, now that you have put it out there how you really feel you don't know when they might take their own action.  you mentioned that you would rather quit than be fired....don't forget that if they fire you, you have a better chance of collecting unemployment IF you need to.  i think if you quit you might not qualify for unemployment but i could be wrong. 

    i am so sorry you are so miserable that is just awful and no one should have to feel that way at work.  i also agree with KU, your bosses are prick's!

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  • roseroseroseroseroseroseroseroseroserose member
    Oh MOO. I am so sorry. Like it's not hard enough to be a working mom. Amie makes a good point about unemployment benefits....but also think about how you could get a good reference from them.
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