Why the need for split boards?

JillRock96 · September 2009

I'm not trying to be snarky or start any sort of drama -- I just don't understand the need for all of these additional boards. I had no idea that there was a group that didn't feel comfortable posting here (or maybe that isn't the reason?) and is trying to start a pregnancy after IF board. Do we come off as snarky or cliquey? Or do pg women not feel supported here because many of the posters are parents? Or are pg women just tired of scrolling through all the parenting posts?

I just feel like the lines between these groups are so blurry. I categorize myself as someone who has gone through secondary IF, is now pregnant after IF (we are still infertile and will always be infertile -- getting pg through IVF doesn't change that), and is a parent after IF. I can't imagine having to go to three different boards to get support.

dusk42 · September 2009

I love all the parenting posts. It's the only way I feel at all ready to have an outside baby. Just my 2 cents.

dana316 · September 2009

I am super confused. I thought TTTC was renamed...but I wasn't aware that there was some discussion about changing SAIF?

Somebody explain??

EmptyOven25 · September 2009

I think the pregnancy after IF board would be intended for currently pregnant women, because as you said, this board is a combination of both pregnant women and current moms.

Having been a recent member of TTTC (and having seen some of the discussions regarding this topic), I think a lot of people do feel like they don't fit on this board because of all the parenting posts. People also get disheartened when they post from TTTC/IF and don't receive more than 1 or 2 answers here.

Please don't take this response as disrespectful. This is just the perception from what I have read in the past.

Having hung around this board for a few weeks now, I do think there are a lot of parenting posts, but I don't know if that's because there are so many mamas on here or because moms-to-be don't post much. I haven't had any problems (either TTTC or now) getting my questions answered. So, having an extra board doesn't really bother me one way or another. I get what I want/need from this board, and when I want to obsess about symptoms, I head to lurk on 1st tri.

schmoodle · September 2009

I didn't know they wanted a pregnant after IF board too. Eesh.

I understand renaming TTTC to avoid getting randoms posting when they've only been trying a short while and aren't in treatment. And I get the existence (albeit not the name) of TTC 24+ because they are their own community, like ours, and their board includes those trying, pregnant, and who have had babies. They just need to rename it something more fitting...but this board does NOT need to be split up...we're a community more than a subject matter and I'd hate to not be on the same board as my TTTC friends as they get pregnant or find success otherwise.

EmptyOven25 · September 2009

Oops...I should add. I do very much enjoy reading the parenting posts (I learn a crap-ton every day!!!), but unfortunately, I have nothing to contribute to those discussions, which makes me a much less involved nestie than I was on TTTC. So, yes, from that perspective, I can understand the desire for a new board.

lnle · September 2009

I would think we could partially resolve the "not enough posts about pregnancy" issue by having trimester check-ins. I know I've seen 2nd tri check-ins but I don't remember seeing 1st or 3rd tri check-ins. Have I missed these?

JillRock96 · September 2009

Thanks, EmptyOven -- I appreciate your perspective!

My big concern is that if there is a board for just pg women, who will answer the questions about late pregnancy/birth? If we continue to split these boards into smaller and smaller subgroups, we will really be missing out on a lot of the "expertise" that others in different stages of IF/pregnancy/parenting can offer.

I'm also concerned that once the pg women give birth, they won't feel comfortable transitioning to SAIF because they have formed a community within that board. So, the PG after IF board will then become dominated by parenting posts, thus creating the same situation we have now...

dana316 · September 2009

EmptyOven25:

I think the pregnancy after IF board would be intended for currently pregnant women, because as you said, this board is a combination of both pregnant women and current moms.

Oh, well in that case, I will stay here. I like there being both pregnant women and Moms on the board. When I have a pregnancy question, I like getting responses from Moms who have BTDT...and women who are going through what I am. I also love reading the parenting posts, and I learn a ton from them.

To each his own, but I'm staying here ;-)

EmptyOven25 · September 2009

JillRock96:
My big concern is that if there is a board for just pg women, who will answer the questions about late pregnancy/birth?

I used to be of the mindset that there needed to be a separate board (before I moved here), but since being here, I find that any question I post gets thoroughly answered. Maybe the pregnant ladies just need to post more often, lol. I know they're on here! What better people to answer your pregnancy-related questions than people who have been through it once, twice, or are currently pg with their #2 or #3?

lnle is also right...is there a first tri check in? Maybe that would help a little with the transition to this board.

lolalillie · September 2009

The split did not work for the loss boards and I personally do not feel like they would work with IF either. Different girls move up to SAIF at different times. It takes time to get to know people, especially since some of us have been here for a few years. I *think* everyone is pretty welcoming. I think in general the number of responses to posts has been down recently. Heck, I was a member of TTTC since the beginning. It is rare that I get more than 4 replies. I am also a bit of what I consider a 'private' poster where I don't have pictures in my siggie and rarely use DS's real name (I know too many people on here IRL). But that is my comfort level

I hope that we don't have a split. But these are my two cents and I truly can see both sides BUT splintering even further I think alienates people further.

qtpa2t · September 2009

Oh, well, at the risk of expressing an unpopular view, I do think those pg get less support for questions and concerns. Maybe it's because there are fewer pg posts and so many parenting posts. Maybe it's because there's an established "group" of parents who have gone through this all together. I don't really know, but I have noticed a lot of the recently pg folks from TTTC don't migrate here, and if they don't, they leave after not very long. I end up going to the tri boards for information, but I don't find it terribly supportive over there either.

krissyh21 · September 2009

It isn't the fact that I feel comfortable or not comfortable posting here. I like most of you. I just think when you are newly pregnant you kind of feel lost in this board of toddler/TTC#2 etc posts.

No offense but in all honesty I sometimes feel like I am in limbo with no place to go. Yes, I do post here but I do not feel like it is "Home".My posting habits have changed a ton since pregnancy.

Most everyone I graduated with spends the majority of their time lurking. It is just sad to do a 2nd tri check in and get 4 total responses for example, when I know more then 4 posters from T-TTC are in the 2nd tri.

ETA - I have never recieved anything but great support and advice from a lot of you. So my suggestion of a new board is nothing again SAIF or the people who frequent it.

epphd · September 2009

I'm totally split on this issue. On the one hand I love the togetherness of this board. Most of us overlapped on TTTC back in the day. But regarding pg, I tend to post more (not exclusively, of course!) on the tri boards since this board has a lot of parenting questions and TTC#2 questions. It's not a slam on this board at all. I could see the need for a Pg. after IF board, or a Parenting after IF board. The "Success" moniker is what is confusing, but at the same time it is what makes it more inclusive.

Put it this way - when I need to post about personal stuff to people who "know" me and "get me", I post here and Infertility (formerly TTTC). When I want to ask a pg related question, I usually post BOTH here and the tri boards.

I dunno - I'm getting confused

JillRock96 · September 2009

I definitely didn't realize that that people felt that the TTC#2 posts were taking over. I never meant to overshadow someone else's journey or good news. I apologize if my posts aren't appropriate for this board -- I really didn't know.

GypsyEsq · September 2009

Well my experience was that the tri boards, while helpful, could often be a little like the blind leading the blind. At least here if I asked a pregnancy question it was possible (and probable IME) that someone who'd been through it would answer. So to me splitting the community would be sad. It seems that every time the boards change like this we lose more than we gain.

firsttogo · September 2009

I personally would find a split to be unnecessary. I think that pregnant IFers need to ask questions here to us with either inside or outside babies. I think that after dealing with IF, those with outside babies can help provide perspective on pregnancy fears and issues that can be harder to qualm than most who just get pregnant with no struggle.

There is a difference being pregnant with IF, and getting pregnant easily. I just think that as Schmoodle said, this is a community here, I would hate to see it separated.

Christakim · September 2009

I would really hate to see the board be split up. I like seeing different posts, not just stuff about being pregnant. But now I kinda get the feeling that some of the toddler posts, TTC #2 posts are wanted as much, that kinda makes me feel sad, because in the couple of years I've been here, that hasn't been an issue.

GretchenlovesMichael · September 2009

i remember when i first became pg i wished for a second that there was a pg after IF board that sort of branched from TTTC to SAIF. but i think for me that was mainly anxiety/nervousness about posting here.

i think it's a cycle. if newly pgs don't feel comfortable posting here and therefore DON'T post here, there will be less pgcy posts, and then other newly pgs may feel even less comfortable posting here... not sure what to do about it but i do hope we can all stay here instead of splitting... maybe trimester check-ins like inle mentioned? i know when i was pg i posted a LOT of pg related Qs. i bet if more pgs did that there would be more pg talk...? or not, idk...

and jill i don't think your posts are remotely inappropriate for this board. please don't stop posting them.

schmoodle · September 2009

Gretchen*loves*Michael:
and jill i don't think your posts are remotely inappropriate for this board. please don't stop posting them.

Ditto.

desabean · September 2009

Wow, I had no idea they were thinking of splitting this board up. That is really disappointing to me. I think it is cyclacle (sp?). When I was pregnant there happened to be a lot of newly pregnant women on this board so I think there were lots of pg posts. A lot of women had babies this summer so now there are a lot of mommy posts. I would imagine that in a couple of months it will rotate back again. And I do think some women stop coming on too often after becoming parents so it balances out a bit.

As for people not responding to posts I don't see how splitting out the boards is going to help that-- then you have less people to respond to a post.

I found this board to be incredibly helpful while I was pregnant and now frankly I find it quite slow....but I still love it. If it was a board just for pregnant women, I don't think I would go to it since, well, I'm not pregnant. Yet I think I have some good advice and support to offer to pregnant women.

JGirl2005 · September 2009

Yeah I remember they wanted a parenting after IF, since they have a parenting after a loss....but the boards don't warrant enough people.

already new moms don't get a lot of response here or maybe that is the other way around pregnant girls don't get a lot of response....i think both is true because honestly we don't have enough people here to warrant 2 boards.

I think more check-ins might help the situation....

I think moms to be can benefit from the moms being 'around' and talk about their experience. I think moms who also go through pregnancy again may not know where to go (like a person like jillrock). You forget what it was like to be pg in some ways and have all new worries if that makes sense...

fallbride110406 · September 2009

I completely agree with krissy.

Again, it's not that some of the pregnant ladies don't want the toddler/TTC#2 posts, it's that we feel lost among them. Seeing pregnancy related posts only getting 3 or 4 responses, then seeing toddler/parenting posts get 3-4 times that many is probably part of why we feel sorta lost.

JGirl2005 · September 2009

krissyh21:

feel like I am in limbo with no place to go. Yes, I do post here but I do not feel like it is "Home".My posting habits have changed a ton since pregnancy.

Most everyone I graduated with spends the majority of their time lurking. It is just sad to do a 2nd tri check in and get 4 total responses for example, when I know more then 4 posters from T-TTC are in the 2nd tri.

ETA - I have never recieved anything but great support and advice from a lot of you. So my suggestion of a new board is nothing again SAIF or the people who frequent it.

I do get this, but I think the opposite is true too. I see a lot of moms drop off from here since they don't like to hear about pregnancy....we lost a lot of ppl who no lnger post here but post on the 0-6 and 6-12m board. That makes me sad because I loved those girls along my TTTC journey. I don't post on those because I feel like it is a family here...I never felt comfortable on the tri boards. So even with the 2 boards you might have people just 'drop off'....i think we have very few new moms because it is hard to find time. I think we try to answer pg questions, but I think ALL post don't get a lot of responses.

I think it goes in spurts....sometimes there are more pg people and more of those quesitons and sometimes more new moms.

I do hope that pg people post more...I know they do belly pic friday etc.

dansbride06 · September 2009

JillRock96:
My big concern is that if there is a board for just pg women, who will answer the questions about late pregnancy/birth? If we continue to split these boards into smaller and smaller subgroups, we will really be missing out on a lot of the "expertise" that others in different stages of IF/pregnancy/parenting can offer.
I'm also concerned that once the pg women give birth, they won't feel comfortable transitioning to SAIF because they have formed a community within that board. So, the PG after IF board will then become dominated by parenting posts, thus creating the same situation we have now...

This. I split my time between this board and the Tri boards. I don't post much here, but have learned a lot and do feel comfortable here. There is an understanding here that you can't/don't get on the Tri boards.

mel72 · September 2009

desabean:

Wow, I had no idea they were thinking of splitting this board up. That is really disappointing to me. I think it is cyclacle (sp?). When I was pregnant there happened to be a lot of newly pregnant women on this board so I think there were lots of pg posts. A lot of women had babies this summer so now there are a lot of mommy posts. I would imagine that in a couple of months it will rotate back again. And I do think some women stop coming on too often after becoming parents so it balances out a bit.

As for people not responding to posts I don't see how splitting out the boards is going to help that-- then you have less people to respond to a post.

I found this board to be incredibly helpful while I was pregnant and now frankly I find it quite slow....but I still love it. If it was a board just for pregnant women, I don't think I would go to it since, well, I'm not pregnant. Yet I think I have some good advice and support to offer to pregnant women.

I totally agree. I think it's been slow too but maybe that's because I'm unemployed right now and DS loves to nap on me so it's either stroller, tv or computer time!

epphd · September 2009

Not to get all Kumbaya on us, but while difficult - I do think these types of posts are important. I had no idea the new moms felt like their posts were going unanswered, and evidently - moms had no idea the newly pg feel like their posts are going unanswered. I think a conscientious effort to "leave no man behind" might get us back on track without a board split. I tend to agree that the further we specialize the boards the lower the traffic.

As long as we can respectfully have these types of conversations, I think we can continue to meet each others' needs.

And Jill - I don't think anyone even kind of sort of implied that your TTC#2 posts were/are inappropriate. Just that as the demographic of the board changes we ALL need to make sure no one feels left out, know what I mean?

dana316 · September 2009

firsttogo:

I personally would find a split to be unnecessary. I think that pregnant IFers need to ask questions here to us with either inside or outside babies. I think that after dealing with IF, those with outside babies can help provide perspective on pregnancy fears and issues that can be harder to qualm than most who just get pregnant with no struggle.

There is a difference being pregnant with IF, and getting pregnant easily.

This! Exactly!! My pregnancy, and feelings about it, are going to be totally different than someone who got pregnant easily. When I lurk on 3rd tri, every other question is answered with "how stupid...you should know this...you are in the 3rd tri!". I hate that...and I don't get it here.

Or, if someone who is new to their 3rd tri complains about pregnancy, even a LITTLE bit, they are blasted. Again, I hate that.

I want to post where, even though we all fought like hell to get our babies, we can complain about pregnancy...and know all the while that every other woman on the board completely understands where we are coming from.

I want to post where, when I ask a pregnancy question, I get answers from women who have been exactly where I am and have lived to see the other side of it.

I want to post where, months from now, when my sweet baby girl isn't sleeping through the night, I can get advice from Moms who actually did something that worked.

I want to post where, when I am pregnant with #2, I can talk to Moms who are where I am, and give advice/share my experience with people who are pregnant with #1, just like so many have done for me.

I want to post where I can see the struggles/worries/thrills/joys that come with BOTH pregnancy after infertility AND parenting after infertility...because as soon as you got that sticky BFP you are SUCCESSFUL after infertility, pregnant or post partum.

Just my two cents...

eyenerd · September 2009

I guess i really never thought it was an issue. I think the more a board has to offer the more posts it will get. I would hate to think that pregnant people would be afraid to post here.

I go to the 2IF board a lot now. At first i felt like a total fish out of water. There was hardly anyone doing IVF and i felt like there were a lot of situations that i just couldn't relate too. I was ready to leave it because i thought that i wouldn't get much out of it. Then i decided that instead of just pushing it aside, that maybe i could actually help someone going through a similar situation or correct some of the misconceptions of IVF that I had read about in posts. I have made a lot of friends over there now, and i feel like i have a dual support system. If i want to over analyze symptons or obsess in the 2ww, i have others going through it but i still can come over here where i have so many old friends. If i never would have POSTED, i would never have made the new friends.

Jillrock, i don't think your posts are offensive in any way. I was worried about posting my recent short lived BFP here as well, but then i felt bad not to...since their are so many people still here from when i posted my first BFP.

I think sometimes these boards form cliques and some people feel excluded. It is not that the cliques are not welcoming, but just intimidating. My advice would be to just throw yourself out there. The only way you will form relationships and bonds is to post.

I would hate to see the boards split up. A lot of times i ask questions for preg and non preg. ladies a like. However, if there is a majority that really feels uncomfortable here and wants their own board, then i wish them the best of luck too!

itsmevkb · September 2009

Cripes, how much more can you split things up? I don't have the time in the day to check in on all the boards I'd fit into:

TTTC because we want #3 and have fertility problems

TTC after 35 because, well, I'm over 35

Secondary IF because I'm having trouble having a child other than my first

SAIF because we do have our daughter despite our fertility issues

Parenting after 35 because again, I'm over 35 and I'm a parent (although why parenting is different if you're over 35 is unknown to me)

Adoption because we're considering adopting at least one child

Babies 6-12 months because my daughter falls in that age range

Toddlers 24 months +

Parenting

Working Moms..............you get the picture.

All the different boards actually cause me to post less because it's just too much to keep track of.

FaithRocks · September 2009

I think that this is sooo weird because I never felt strange posting here after I got my BFP. I was like, well, I did 3 rounds of IVF and it finally worked so now I am on SAIF. It's where I belonged, regardless of people having children already, being ttc#2, whatever. I know that was a year ago, though, so maybe there were more pg people on here then? Or are there alot of pg women not posting? I know I posted my tush off when I was pg and felt totally comfortable doing it. Dunno why that has changed? that said, I think that there was a group of "oldies" from TTTC that were pg at the same time or recently had their LOs, so maybe that contributed to my comfort. In any case, I think that there are a TON of pg women on here, not sure why they're not comfortable posting? This is where ALL SAIFers should post, parenting, pg, TTC#2, whatever, and I would miss it if it weren't that way.

Mrs.Reem · September 2009

This just leaves me with a lot of questions...

Does it not make sense that as the board grows that there are going to be more and more parents since parenting takes longer than pregnancy?

I'd also think that since the transition seems to be difficult for some, that it would be easier to transition once to SaIF than to transition to pg after IF and then again to parenting after IF. It would just create more people on both boards that regulars haven't gotten the chance to know, making the original problem 2 times bigger.

People are complaining about ttc#2? So... you only get to have one kid if you want to stay on the board? Does that sound reasonable to anyone? Don't let your IF own you. Take charge of it instead. Many of the second timers needed just as much assistance for #2 as they did for #1. If they didn't then we should be super happy for them because that's really awesome!

Who is going to answer the pg ladies' questions? If there aren't enough pg ladies now to post, how will giving them a separate board help that problem? If some feel pg ladies aren't getting support, I'm guessing that it's because either nobody has had a similar experience or that we don't know who they are. Post more so that we can get to know you. Don't give up and pout. Take charge of the situation and help yourself. FWIW, I rarely look to see who posted the question. In fact unless I recognize the signature, I don't even know who I replied to. I just answer if I know the answer. I don't really care if I know the person or not.

HarleyQ8 · September 2009

I am not sure if anyone is going to read through all of these responses and this issue has probably been talked through to death but I wanted to put my 2 cents in. As someone who recently came over from TTTC (now IF) I didnt/dont feel completely comfortable posting here. I dont "know" a lot of you and since everyone here seems to know each other so well I sometimes feel out of place responding to the posts I do have something to contribute to. That is my issue- not anyone here's. Whoever posted that the "new girls" need to post more was right- I do. There are a lot more parenting type posts than pregnancy related posts here. Those posts dont bother me in any way- the obviously belong here- I just wish there were more preg related posts. So I will start contributing more. Looking forward to getting to know you all better.

JillRock96 · September 2009

I'm definitely just being oversensitive about the TTC#2 thing -- I think it just hit a nerve because I myself have been wondering whether the posts were appropriate here. Thanks to those that commented, though it wasn't necessary -- I'm just being really touchy today.

I guess I still don't understand where all the newly pg women are if they aren't posting here. It is absolutely true that some posts get left behind, but I think that is true regardless of the poster or topic. Just the other day I posted a question about teething that got maybe three responses -- but the responses answered my question adequately. I really think that posting on this board (just like maintaining any relationship) takes both sides. If people mostly lurk, they will get fewer responses to their own posts and in turn won't be there to offer others support who are going through something similar. I do think that if more of the pg ladies posted, there would be more "life" on this board for pregnancy posts.

I hope this doesn't come off the wrong way because I don't think it is anyone's intention, but to me it seems like the purpose of a new board would be to exclude subgroups from this board. True, I'm most likely being oversensitive (again) and reading too much into it -- but as someone who tries to pop on every night (I can't nest from work) to answer questions and offer support, it hurts my feelings.

skoorbnibor · September 2009

I am going to bluntly say what was said to me, back during the tttc/saif drama...

A lot (that is a quote, only 1 person fessed up to personally feeling this way) of TTTCers do not feel we are welcoming to the newcomers.

As I said back then, that makes me sad, as I think we answer questions all the time about pregnancy, and I think we welcome newcomers as well... but I am sure as with anything, we aren't successful all the time at either. I know 1 SAIFer who said she wasn't welcomed, and I wish that she had felt differently, but we can only do the best we can do... I try to answer posts I can really contribute to, or answer those that are meaningful to me.

Technically, SAIF is a PREGNANCY board, it is not a parenting board. We should get a parenting after IF board, if we need another one, but I much prefer this board. I didn't feel like I fit in at first either, and TTTC was still my home, but now, I feel the reverse...

skoorbnibor · September 2009

HarleyQ8:
As someone who recently came over from TTTC (now IF) I didnt/dont feel completely comfortable posting here. I dont "know" a lot of you and since everyone here seems to know each other so well I sometimes feel out of place responding to the posts I do have something to contribute to. That is my issue- not anyone here's. Whoever posted that the "new girls" need to post more was right- I do.

This totally makes sense... We do know each other cause we went through pregnancy together, after going through IF together, but we are not a closed unit, new people are VERY welcome!! Some of the newbies are very interesting... Inle has been an active poster, with an interesting story, and desabean is still sort of a newbie, and I think she is very fun, etc... I look forward to getting to know all the new girls better, like you, Harley! (and I 'know' you from TTTC!)

efooey · September 2009

HarleyQ8:
I am not sure if anyone is going to read through all of these responses and this issue has probably been talked through to death but I wanted to put my 2 cents in. As someone who recently came over from TTTC (now IF) I didnt/dont feel completely comfortable posting here. I dont "know" a lot of you and since everyone here seems to know each other so well I sometimes feel out of place responding to the posts I do have something to contribute to. That is my issue- not anyone here's. Whoever posted that the "new girls" need to post more was right- I do. There are a lot more parenting type posts than pregnancy related posts here. Those posts dont bother me in any way- the obviously belong here- I just wish there were more preg related posts. So I will start contributing more. Looking forward to getting to know you all better.

I agree with what skoorb said, and I just wanted to add that perception is a lot of the problems here. "I don't feel welcome" "I don't get many answers" "it feels like everyone knows each other" Honestly, I've been on tttc and saif since november of 2006 and I still have days where I feel no one likes me here and I don't get enough replies, I sometimes think everyone hanges out with each other behind my back, but those feelings quickly pass and I realize that this board is what I make of it. I get out what I put into it.

I hope you don't feel like this is directed towards you, it's for anyone who doesn't feel welcome, we've all been there!

epphd · September 2009

Mrs.Reem:
People are complaining about ttc#2? So... you only get to have one kid if you want to stay on the board? Does that sound reasonable to anyone?
AND

Don't give up and pout.

Dude - no one was complaining. They were explaining that they felt like it was hard to get pg posts answered, not accusing anyone of deliberately ignoring them. We are ALL trying to express a need that has felt unmet - as I explained in a previous post, I was unaware that there are some new moms who feel that their posts aren't answered either. It's not just pg SAIFers who are expressing a concern.

We're all doing our best here - let's not get hypersensitive.

Mrs.Reem · September 2009

epphd: But...but... that's what I DO. It's like my job. Wink

((Hugs)) Joking aside, I see what you're saying.

epphd · September 2009

Oh good - yea, I tend to be a little over aggressive about being a peace-maker. It's my latent middle child syndrome coming out Embarrassed

skoorbnibor · September 2009

epphd:
They were explaining that they felt like it was hard to get pg posts answered, not accusing anyone of deliberately ignoring them. We are ALL trying to express a need that has felt unmet - as I explained in a previous post, I was unaware that there are some new moms who feel that their posts aren't answered either. It's not just pg SAIFers who are expressing a concern.
We're all doing our best here - let's not get hypersensitive.

You know what, though, E? I am hypersensitive about it, myself. I go to TTTC, and post about the endless waiting for my next IVF and I get overwhelming support, and a nasty PM or 3. I post here, and TTTCers are upset that we 'abandoned' that board. I think WE all sometimes feel our posts aren't answered. I know I do, and I think most people here know me... It makes me feel sad and unpopular and insecure, but really, intellectually I know that it is more likely no one had answer, didn't have the time to reply, or didn't even have time to read... I think Efooey said it really well, we get out of it what we put in... Yes, there are friendships that grew from the board, but I also think that new friendships could come from others, if only they reached out, too...

I will say, I try to answer all pregnancy posts about late heartbeats, bleeding or diabetes, because that was my reality... but I don't respond if what I was going to say has been said, or if I have no intelligent answer. I try to answer any reflux or allergy baby questions, or sttn or making your own baby food questions... sort of like I answer PCOS, blocked tube, IUI and IVF questions on tttc, I answer about what I know best, you know?

But still, I am sad that some TTTCers are not feeling as if they want to join SAIF. I think we are a decent group, but there is a group that really seems to dislike us... I can't change that, although I would like to..

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