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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
WWYD... no flames please im very emotional about this
Some of you may think im over reacting
J is tongue tied. I just noticed this and confirmed with his pedi last week. (explains our BF fail) we formula feed.
His pedi said we would re eval later that as long as he could stick it out past his gumline he "shouldnt" have speech problems. He thinks we should avoid the clipping procedure if we can.
He is gaining weight fine (70%) however i cant shake the feeling that I should have it fixed anyways.
I cant stand the thought of J with a speech problem that other kids might make fun of. (now im crying) I dont want it to be something he is self conscious (sp) about, that may lead to self esteem issues. I had self esteem issues in high school and I think that had to do with a lot of the poor decisions i made.
I know as a mother i should want him to avoid as much pain as possible but i keep thinking about the possible future. (he can get the edges slightly past his gumline but the center where the fennula is stays pretty far back)
I also think this is the reason why we cant seem to find a nipple that he likes (frustrating feedings) and why he cant keep his paci in.
I dint know what to do. This has been by far the most difficult parenting decision to date.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD... no flames please im very emotional about this
so sorry you have to worry about that.
as far as the paci - 2 month olds all have trouble keeping them in...and some just won't keep them in b/c they don't like them.
with the frustrating feedings- has your doc considered reflux at all? Silent reflux does not have a lot of spitting up- but babies that fuss when eating (if that is what he's doing). Of course- it could be the tongue tied issue- but also could be that - my one son has silent reflux and before he was put on meds he would scream when eating and thrash his head around and not want to take the nipple.
I would do research - see what the specialist says - not just your pedi... and make a decision about doing the surgery or not. I think your worries about his speech and school, etc are very normal- i'd worry about it, too.... so do some research and see what the risks are, what the true need is, etc - and know you made your decision with knowledge and love either way.
best of luck to you and your LO!
I'd get a 2nd opinion. My friend's son was tongue tied and could not BF either. She took him to a doc and they clipped it in house, there was a drop of blood and it was all over - she said it was no big deal. If he doesn't need it great, but if you're worried I would ask another doctor and see what they have to say.
I'm tongue tied and have never had any speech issues. My parents didn't discover it until I was 3-4 months old.
My mom did have trouble getting me to latch properly, but she says I got the hang of it by 1 mo or so. She was never told it may have been due to the tongue tie.
It is a really simple procedure. If you do decided to have his tongue clipped, know that it is similar to biting your tongue or having it pierced. Also, it heals very quickly.
my niece was tongue tie and couldnt bf. she had the surgery around 18mths (I think). ?Go with your gut, and get a 2nd opinion.
GL!
DD is slightly tongue tied but my LC and my pedi both agreed it was not enough to clip, it just caused a lot of pain in the beginning with BF but now I just some pain with the first few sucks and if she is being lazy. If there was any chance of it messing with her speech later, I would without a second thought have it clipped.
I was very sad at the thought of having her go through that when I thought it was going to be a neccesity in the beginning. My LC, who is also my aunt, put it this way...she asked me if DD had happened to be a boy would I have gotten her circumsized? My answer was yes and she said that clipping the tongue is not near as traumatic as that. I dont know if your DS is circumsized but maybe that perspective helps. I know some offices can do it with a laser that also numbs it first. See if you can find an office that will do everything possible to keep your DS comfortable.
IMO, having his tongue clipped would be a small drop in the bucket of what kind of therapy you may have to go through to correct speech problems.
My son was tongue tied. We were told it DOES cause latching problems, so we immediately had the VERY simple procedure. There was a tiny scab, but Max was fine and didn't really notice after it was completed.
My opinion was:
1. If we didn't get it done=potential latching and speech problems
2. Get it done= no latching or speech problems or need to worry about them. No harm done.
It was a no brainer for us. Not to mention, I had a friend that was tongue tied. She did have speech issues and had it snipped during her sixth grade year. She said it was VERY painful and said we made the best decision by doing it now when it doesn't effect his language AND he'll never remember the procedure.
So GET IT DONE! No need to be emotional about it. The procedure is no big deal or really painful outside of an infant Tylenol. You won't regret it.
I just vented about this in the tongue tied post below - but we've had a lot of issues due to DD's tongue being tied and I am SO glad that we are finally doing something about it because I think it'll make things so much easier for us.
Also, my DH was born with a tongue tie that they never had clipped and he developed speech issues (a bad lisp) and had to have the procedure done when he was 10...and he still remembers it 15 years later.
I would just go ahead and get it done, at this age they won't remember it and from what I've heard most babies don't even feel much pain afterwards!
DD is tongue-tied, and like you, this is one reason why we couldn't BF. Both DH and I are tongue-tied, and no speech issues. My LC said there were exercises you can do with LO to try and stretch the tongue out, and this was for her to latch better. (let your LO suck on your finger with the nail down, back of the throat where a nipple would land, then turn it over and pull it out of his mouth slowly. he'll fight you to try adn keep it in, thus stretching it out).
Dr also said that more times than not, the tie will stretch and there will be no speech problems. I would get a 2nd opinion since you're so overwhelmed by this and to either give you peace of mind or to have it taken care of now while they won't remember any pain (If there is any)
good luck to you and your LO
((hugs)) I'm sorry to hear your little guy is tongue tied. Its not that uncommon though, nor is it a huge operation to get if fixed. My nephew is tongue tied and they never did anything about it. He is five years old and you can tell on his speech. If i were you i would get it fixed sooner than later. And I would go to another doctor for a second opinion.
I'm sure you will make the right decision for your little guy!
BFP 12/19/08- DS born 8/25/09 9lbs2oz via Zavanelli Maneuver
BFP 8/26/11- Missed miscarriage discovered 10/19/11 at 11w2d, measured at 9 weeks gestation w/ no HB. D&C 10/21/11
BFP 3/17/12 at 12dpo CP 3/21/12
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DD was tongue-tied as well. We had her clipped at her first pedi appointment so that there was absolutely no reason for us to have latch problems on her end. BFing is super important to me, so it was a no-brainer for us. We also didn't want to risk a speech impediment in the future.
Go with your guy. It's your child, do what you think is right.
GL.
Let's try this again...