TTC After a Loss

Just had OB appt. I hate my doctor.

This is the same doctor who has said more than once that after a miscarriage the body "picks bad eggs" the first few months.  When I very politely asked if he knew the title of that study off of the top of his head his response to me was "Google it."  Today he was sooo condescending.  Also, he's the one who did my D&C but after he walked in the room today he said "Nice to meet you."  Um, you're actually the one who pulled my dead baby out of my body.  We've met. 

He said that with my cycles post-MC ranging from 24-32 days in length he considers that irregular and thinks I haven't been ovulating every cycle.  He said that is common and most women get back to normal ovulatory cycles like my last one.  Which is good, because that means that I wasn't getting KU for a reason.  I'm going in for an ultrasound soon to make sure that everything is out of there that should be.  I went in because of the pain and heaviness of my periods.  His treatment: get pregnant.  How come I didn't think of that?

It was just super depressing because as soon as I walked in the door I was having flashbacks of the last time I was there: when they told me that my baby had no hb only to find out shortly later that it did have a hb, just very slow and was measuring two weeks behind.  That's when I started the worst 2ww ever.  That was the 2ww where I was waiting for my baby to die.  As all of these memories are flooding in on me a newborn baby is crying and the young mother is not trying at all to console her.  I was also cramping so badly that I was afraid I was going to throw up everywhere and a woman who's where I should be, early third tri, walks out with this beautiful ultrasound photo.  I left feeling more empty than I ever have in my entire life.

Re: Just had OB appt. I hate my doctor.

  • Oh God. There really is nothing to say that would be enough. I'm so sorry, and I just wish I could hug you for real. I'm SO sorry.
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  • I'm so sorry you had to feel like that today- I can totally understand.  Every now and then we get hit so hard with that empty filling that no one can fill up and make go away.  It takes your breath away...I hope you are feeling better now.
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  • i am sorry heathergirl. hope you get your sticky baby soon.

     

    Missed MC 1 - 11/21/2006 Missed MC 2 - 03/10/2008 BFP # 3 09/18/09 - Gabriel David born 05/11/2010 baby
  • That is horrible I am so sorry!! Do you want to keep this Dr or do you not have a choice??
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  • Blah. I think you need to find a new doctor!

    Also, years ago, when I had painful periods, my doctor also said they would get better if I got pregnant. Well, I did and they are more awful than ever!

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  • uggg! I'm soooo sorry you had to deal with all of that. HUGE hugs to you!!

    Do you plan on staying with this Dr. I left mine after my m/c and while she wasn't horrible I just needed that "clean slate."

  • Yeah, I think I need a new doctor and a whole new office, really.  I just have too many bad memories in that one.
  • I am so sorry that was your day :O( I wish I could make that go away.

    Why are you still with that Dr? 

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    Summer 2011
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  • Ugh, sorry your doc is such a jerk!  (((hugs)))
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  • I would switch to a new Doc office, that is really shitty of him. I got really lucky with my DR. I had been going to this large practice where you dont get  regular doc you just see whoever you can get into at the time and I was really unhappy because I think being passed around is very bedside manner for the whole practic... When I had to have my tube removed it was done at the hospital as an emergency and the doc that did my surgery was seriously the most amazing doctor I have ever come across, she called me herself a couple days after to see how I was doing.... you deserve better treatment than you are getting, you have to be able to trust your ob and he sounds like a douche bag.

    BFP #1 4/2/09 EDD 12/6/09 -MC 4/12/09 BFP #2 6/2/09 EDD 2/14/10 -Ectopic in Tube, Surgery 6/23/09 BFP #3 10/15/09 EDD 6/27/10 -Daniel John 6/21/10 BFP #4 Oct 2010 Chemical Pregnancy BFP #5 8/19/11 Beta #1 82.8 Prog 17.25
  • Get a non idiotic dr asap, the write a letter pointing out his lack of professionalism/knowledge to his whole staff.
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  • :(  Heartbroken for you.  I'm so sorry.

    Marie, wife to Ron, mom to DS
  • Oh I'm so sorry.  What a crappy doctor and a horrible day.

    (((hugs)))

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  • I am so sorry to hear that. I know it is rough, After I loss my baby I went back to work, I am a teacher and I have a 14 year old student who is pregnant and is talking about aborting it. That was so hard for me to hear after what just happened and being a professional I had to remain in control of my emotions. It is so hard to be around this stuff sometimes. I just kept thinking how unfair life can be sometimes.
  • I am so sorry you had to go through that. 
  • Oh, my...what a terrible day!  This guy sounds like a kook and you need a new doctor.   I had an OB appt today too, and it is impossible not to go in there and think about what might have been.  I saw the happy couples and thought that the last time my DH was there, it was for news of the m/c. 

    I try to recognize that my doctor sees a lot of patients and may not remember me (he asked today if I am trying to get pregnant--this is probably the third time I've said yes).  And this was my 4th visit in 3 months!  But he is never mean nor does he make condescending comments.  There's no excuse for that. 

     
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  • oh no, how discouraging.

    I'm sorry, darling.  Can you never schedule with him again?

    Tomorrow will be better.

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  • ::hugs::: just lots of ::hugs:::
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