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3rd Trimester
What Grandma doesn't want to go to a Baby Shower? Vent
I hate living so far away from my extended family. DH's family stinks!
My baby shower is being organized and I asked my MIL for DH's grandma's addres to invite her and she suggested that I not even invite her. I don't get it. About a year and a half ago she was invited to my wedding shower and she said didn't go because she had to put her dog down two weeks before...weird.
Anyway, I don't understand. I don't care about the gift aspect, but why wouldn't someone want to celebrate the birth of a grandchild. The last one that was born here was about five years ago, so it's not like we are going to showers all the time. And this lady is super social, so I know it's not like she would be uncomfortable at a party.
I am done with them. I am telling DH we are not going to their annual Christmas Eve parties. My feelings are really hurt over this and I don't think I care to see them (DH's grandparents and aunts/uncles) again.
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Re: What Grandma doesn't want to go to a Baby Shower? Vent
so sorry. my DH's family is the same and they live local! during my shower DH's mother and grandmother got up and left while I was still opening presents. They said they had to go bc his grandmother was having shortness of breath (she has COPD and still smokes 3 packs a day). My family was a little insulted that they did not stay until the end. I later found out that they went out for drinks and chinese food afterwards! my family made soooo much food and we did not have any alcohol at the shower. Its kinda sad that they left for an alcohol fix.
I wish you better luck with your shower!
Oh don't even get me started on this subject. DH's entire family was just a massive FAIL when it came to my shower. We live in RI but his mom lives in NC. She flies up here almost every freaking weekend over the summer to be with her three grown boys and go sailing etc with them. Yet she couldn't attend my baby shower (her first grandchild) because she and her husband already had plans to come up the following weekend for DH's brother's bday. Like I said, she's here practically every weekend anyway so I didn't really see why this was such a big deal. Especially because her new husband is very well off and we're talking an inexpensive Southwest flight from NC to RI, not cross country.
On top of this, his grandparents (MIL's mother) still live right nearby in RI and at first his grandmother said she wasn't going to come to NH for the shower (where I'm from, it's about 1.5 hrs) because it was too far. Yet she and her husband just drove to update NY (~7 hrs) a few weeks ago to visit her son. Then she did wind up rsvp'ing yes so I was really glad that SOMEONE from DH's family was going to come but nope, she never came. Apparently it was "too far" and "too hot" out that day and she was worried about her husband being home alone in the heat (they have central air. a family friend was going to drive her. her husband golfed 18 holes in the heat the day before...not sure how sitting at home in central air is so concerning). My two sister-in-laws were both unable to attend for various reasons so in the end, the ONLY person from DH's entire side of the family who made it was his step-mother - someone who's not even blood to this child.
Grrr...the whole thing made me so mad. I said exactly what you did, I wash my hands of them. DH said his family just "doesn't get that showers are a big deal" - seriously? It's the first grandbaby. His mom lives on an upscale country club golf course, I KNOW she associates with people who must have been to their daughter/daughter-in-law's showers and I'm sure she's heard about them. Whatever. I had to see them all the following weekend for BIL's bday party and I acted politely to them but inside I was boiling.
So I feel your pain. As much as I would love to really disown them though I won't. You may feel differently by xmas when there's a new baby in the picture - try to be the bigger person. Sad, that we have to be more mature then our in-laws!
I'm so hurt about my Gram. I bet she's not going to come to my shower. My mom would pick her up and everything, but she's going to claim she's too tired/sick/weak whatever and she's not going to come.
We were so close once upon a time. Then she had to move into independant living and became mean and hurtful. i'm naming my baby after my Pap (her husband) - we were that close - and she can't manage an afternoon out? in a restaurant? where she can sit and eat?