How Do You Take Time Off Work For IF?

patchen30 · August 2009

My boss is a guy who is actually 1 year younger than me who I always had a "peer" type relationship with. He is a boy genius though so has shot up the corporate ladder and I now report to him. We work well together and are professional, but we also chat it up about non-work things and get coffee, etc.

I told him I'd be needing to leave for appts. now and then to "take care of something medical." He didn't ask what and I didn't volunteer. I did tell him last week that I had a glucose tolerance test b/c I had to leave, come back, then leave again so had to explain.

He knows something is up I'm sure but may or may not know what...and being that he's a 28 year old guy probably doesn't really want to know.

I have to leave tomorrow for a consult and just said "I have an appt. at 2:15...I'll be back around 3:30...I'll come in early and stay late. Sorry - I hate to have to take time off like this but it's unavoidable." He acted like it was no big deal, but I wonder if he thinks I'm a slacker or is wondering what the H is going on.

Do you think I'm handling this the right way?

Kiki11 · August 2009

I think you're handling it fine. Last year I had a brand new principal at my school and I never gave him all the details. I just told him that I would need to be absent or leave early/arrive late for appointments having to do with medical treatment that I would rather keep personal. He was very supportive and never asked for specifics. (Kind of out of character for him, but it worked out for me!)

Mainer-in-Texas · August 2009

I am handling it the exact same way you are. I told my boss that I have a non-life threatening medical condition that is going to require me to go to the doctor a lot. I also applied for FMLA, mostly so I could take leave w/out pay if I run out of sick time, but I also found out it's a good idea just to CYA in case your boss does start to think you are a slacker and somehow punishes you for it.

sail123 · August 2009

It sounds like you are handling the situation appropriately. I'm doing something similar but my boss recently asked a co-worker if I was pregnant because I seemed to have a lot more doctor's appointments recently. Ouch.

caden · August 2009

I think you're handling it fine too.

I just tell my boss "I have a doctor's appt." No details whatsoever. There's no telling what they think is going on but they haven't said anything and I've not volunteered anything.

ladychicago · August 2009

that's pretty much what i do with my bosses. they clearly know something is going on, but they don't ask for details. i'm still debating on when the right time to talk to them about missing 1-3 days for the ER and ET...

patchen30 · August 2009

My boss and I are close enough that I could tell him if it was something else...but the sensitive nature of this topic makes me not want to. A) it's really personal and like I said he's a 28 year old guy so I'm not sure how sypathetic he'd be and

I work in the finance world and if they knew I was actively trying to get pg I feel like I would subconsciously be put in the "not serious about her career" category - even though blatantly acting on that would be illegal, I think people can't help but have opinions and I'm afraid it could affect career trajectory.

Dr.Loretta · August 2009

IMo you are handling this perfectly. You have a medical issue that is none of his business, and you are doing your best to make up the time.

Good luck.

missred75 · August 2009

I think that you're handling it perfectly. I'm fortunate that I have a female boss who has had some issues in the past. She's very understanding. But, if I didn't, I would just say that I had some medical appointments. They're not legally allowed to ask, especially if it's not interfering with your job.

Jenniemarie111 · August 2009

I agree with pp. You are handling this situation very appropriately. I ended up telling my principal last year. She is very understanding and i felt like i wanted her to know why I had so many dr apts.

Quizzle · August 2009

My DH told his principal about the IVF and that he'd probably need to be out a couple or three days, likely at the end of September or October. It's a brand new principal for them, so he wanted to be up front.

I told my boss as soon as they brought me on that I was eventually going to have some medical stuff that would make me run late then be out somewhat unpredictably, and that I couldn't give exact dates because it depending on testing. As soon as I get a schedule, I'll be giving him a date range.

The stuff I've had so far, I've just said I had a doctor's appointment for the hysteroscopy and bloodwork/ultrasounds in prep.

I'm usually into work at 7:30, but with monitoring, it puts me more like 9 am getting in, with parking and all.

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