Pregnant after 35

can I vent?

Just a little one! :)

I've told two friends about this SUA diagnosis--I just found out a week ago so I am still freaked out and worried and scared--and the response from both of them was, "Oh, you'll be fine."

This makes me aggravated. Most likely all *will* be fine. And I know they were just trying to be positive and reassuring. But that kind of response feels, right now while I'm still very scared, like a blow off, oh-get-over-it kind of response.

I know logically they were just trying to be helpful, I guess I'm just still emotional about it. Ok, thanks for indulging me! :) 

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Re: can I vent?

  • Vent away.

    And try to keep it in perspective.  To them, you might as well said, "My baby has three heads" and you'd probably get the same reaction. 

    Except for the phone call from Ripleys and the National Enquirerer.

    Most people don't know how to react to medical stuff... baby related or otherwise.

     

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  • Bah.. I think I said that in you post on the check in. I know you weren't talking about me, but I shouldn't have said it because it absolutely drives me crazy when people say that to me.  They don't know that it will be fine. I don't know that it will be fine.

    But...it will probably be fine. I hope that in your Googling you found that there are plenty of times when SUA  results in a 100% healthy baby.

    I always struggle with balancing optimism with realism on these boards. In your case I do believe you have every reason to be optimistic until you hear any different.

  • Thanks ladies!

    And Laura, I totally was not talking about you!!! I'm sorry if I sounded like a jerk. Their responses quite literally were "oh, you'll be fine" and that was it--you've been incredibly supportive *and* wisely optimistic, which I SO appreciate!! (it's almost like, I wanted to hear the "I'm sorry, what's your doctor's plan?" or something like that from them *before* the you'll be fine.) 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm not sure which is worse, the folks who kind of dismiss how worried you are with the "you'll be fine" thing, or the folks who freak out and start with horror stories.  When I told my mom they were worried about IUGR, she was ready to fly out immediately, and kept frantically googling articles.  Er...  thanks, mom?
    You are likely to be eaten by a grue. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image
  • I can totally sympathize with you.  Some people just don't know how to react or say the "right" thing.  Try to understand that they just don't know enough & it sounds like you still are trying to learn too.  Hopefully they will come around & start asking you questions.. but honestly some are just not comfortable with stuff like this.

    I have been there.  My first was born with a birth defect, & I would get all the time.. "Everything will be just fine" - from people that knew nothing about clefts ; ).  My mom even asked when I called to tell her that her 1st grandson was born.. if he still had the cleft.  Um, no Mom it magically sealed up when pushing him out ; )  I could go on & on with comments that I have received.   

    I am glad you can vent here though! & stop googling.. it will definitely help when you get the information from your doctor or a specialist! But try to go easy on everyone else, they just don't know what to say, I am sure they do not mean any harm!

    Boy 1 2/06 - Boy 2 12/07 - Boy 3 9/09
  • Thanks everyone--honestly, you don't know how much I appreciate this board and the advice/support of all of you!!

    We had our doc appt today with the peri and H and I feel much, much better. He said that everything will very likely be fine. So I guess I'll be fine! ;) 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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