I am having a miscarriage and sad

Irish727 · August 2009

Hi ladies, this is going to be a hard email to write. I was 6 weeks and3 days pregnant. I am in the process of having a miscarriage now. I am so sad, confused, and feeling empty. I really wanted this baby, I know I was early in my pregnancy, but It is still hard for me to understand why.

I am hoping that I will pass the baby on my own without a D and C since I was told their was not much tissue in my uterus. This is all so new and overwhelming...not even sure what to expect.

I don't even know when your period comes back and when to expect it all....just all so overwhelming.I know I now have to tell the few people I told about our news.Hard to do!

I guess if you have room for me on this board I am hoping I can get some strength,advice, and courage from you all!

Thanks!

ScissorTailedFlycatcher · August 2009

You might be regretting telling people about your news, but at least they can share with you and be there for you. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. GL in the future!

Kel&Jay · August 2009

I'm very sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you're having to join us. I hope you are able to find as much comfort here as I have. Hugs to you.

princesscb22 · August 2009

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know with my 1st m/c I regretted telling ppl about the pregnancy when I found out.....but then, I realized that what was even harder was not having anyone to talk to! Even though everyone knew about the m/c, no one knew what to say to me and i was all alone. This time (I just had a m/c on monday) I am so thankful to have found this site. It's nice being able to talk to ppl who know EXACTLY what you are going through! Keep your head up! Sending you big hugs and lots and lots of baby dust!

babygirlpriest · August 2009

Only since you asked, I'm going to share a bit of advice. Take my 2 cents for exactly what they're worth.

1. Can your DH call and tell everyone? I know it feels like YOU should be the one to call and tell your sis/bff/parents etc... but if it seems like it would hurt more than help, see if he will do it. They will understand! My DH notified everyone and I'm so glad I didn't have to deal with telling people.

2. One step at a time. Don't worry about D&C, your period, tests, etc. right now. Allow yourself to focus all your emotional and physical energy on this one first difficult step. There will be plenty of time to address your questions later (I know that's A LOT easier said than done).

3. It's ok and normal to be all over the place emotionally - and the fact that you were "only" preg. 6+ weeks does NOT mean you have any less right to grieve. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need. Lean on your DH and family and friends if it will help. Tell them you need space if that's what will help.

I am so, so, so sorry you are here. Huge hugs and post questions, rants, whatever any time you need. This group has been a huge support to me in the two weeks I've been here.

dstar · August 2009

I was 5w 1d pregnant when I miscarried and I felt bad coming over here because I was just barely pg. One women told me it does not matter if you are 5 weeks pg or 20 weeks, it was still your baby. I am sorry you are joining us but we always have room in our hearts for someone else. I will be thinking of you today.

shall923 · August 2009

I felt guilty for telling people. DH wanted to wait until first dr. appt. which would have been next Monday. But it is very hard to go through this and not have other people who are close to you know. I told my sister and ask her to tell the rest of the family. If you have one person who can do it that will be easier than making a bunch of calls.

Sorry for your lose. I know it hurts a lot.

vkbaby09 · August 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. My first loss was at about 5 1/2 weeks and I miscarried naturally which took about a week and a half of bleeding. I then got AF 28 days after and got pg on that cycle. Everybody's different though - just keep in touch with your dr.

This board has been instrumental in my healing process. There's always room for new people, as much as we wish there wasn't a need for it.

Jenny086 · August 2009

I am very sorry this is happening to you. I'll echo what other women have said that it really doesn't matter how early you were in the pregnancy. We have all lost something we loved and wanted so much. This may seem backward, but I actually called to tell the few people we told the bad news. The more I talked about it, the better I felt. It was unexpectedly therapeutic. I do hope you find the strength, advice, and courage you are looking for here.

summerbee1 · August 2009

So sorry for your loss. Like the others said, it doesn't matter that it was still early, it is the loss of your child. I felt the same way about having told people, but like PPs said, talking about it has been very helpful for me. You will find that you will have some amazing support, some people who just don't know what to say (and may put their foot in their mouth), and some others (albeit few in my instance) who are not supportive at all. Concentrate on what makes you feel better and try to keep in close contact with those who make you strong. We are here for you!

It is so hard, but you will get through it and every day will be just a little brighter and while I don't think you ever "get over" it, you will find your own way to deal with and accept this. Take time to grieve with your significant other, take time for yourself and don't feel bad about it. I had a natural m/c three weeks ago and am waiting for my period to come. My GYN told me it should be between 4-6 weeks, but I have seen a lot of people who got it around 8 weeks or so on this board.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope that you are ok and I am glad that you found this board, it has been a huge source of strength for me in this incredibly difficult time.

lax15bsu · August 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. We welcome you with open arms, because we all know the pain you're feeling right now. It doesn't matter how far along you were when you miscarried - you still lost a baby. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for grieving so hard for something you never really had. The moment you find out you're pregnant, you are instantly attached to the tiny life growing inside you and begin dreaming and planning for the new life you expect to bring into this world. To have that so cruely and suddenly taken away is awful and sucks majorly, and unless someone has actually experienced a loss, they can't truly understand. Just know that this group of women here is absolutely amazing. We are always here for you.

Irish727 · August 2009

Thank you ladies, itm akes me so sad that so many of us are having to deal with this. I did tell a few of my close friends that I lost the baby and did get some comfort from it. I am not one to keep my feelings in, so was good to get it out and allow me to grieve my loss.

I am just trying to get use to the fact that I am no longer going to be a mommy to this baby, and all of the dreams I had are gone. I no we will try again but that first excitement of finding out you are pregnant is gone and I will now be even more worried when it does happen again!

Wish I new why.....but I see my doc. on Monday may be that will answer a few questions.

Thanks for letting me a part of this amazing support group and I hope we all get to have our happiness soon!

CNJ110505 · August 2009

So, so sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you :0)

candycane3t · August 2009

I am so sorry for you loss....hugs

TAGolden · August 2009

I am so, so very sorry for your loss. Just take it one day at a time and allow yourself to feel whatever you might feel at any given time -- we all heal on our own time.

Good luck to you and may God shower His blessings upon you and your family. Believe that He will carry you through.

dnagal · August 2009

Hugs and Support. Wishing you a speedy physical and emotional recovery!

someflower6 · August 2009

i'm so sorry for your loss. i know it's really sad, unbelievably so. it doesn't matter how early a loss is... a bfp is a life changing event. and so is having a mc.

i know it's incredibly overwhelming right now; there's a lot unloading on you all at once. just know that it's ok to feel devestated, sad, confused, angry, numb... all at once, all one at a time... it's an emotional rollercoaster. and it's ok not to have all the right answers. in time, you will find what is best for you and the way you need to deal. in my opinion, this board is a great place to start... you can vent your emotions, your troubles... you can get advice, support, and very importantly, understanding.

*big hugs*

babymonkey7 · August 2009

Sorry about your loss. Good luck.

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