Infertility

Lurkers please read (ticker in siggy)

More and more lately I have noticed a lot of drive by BFP, if you do not know what that is, it is when someone posts - YAY I got a BFP, then logs off and we never hear from them again. We are not familair with your story, we do not know your struggles and we will never see you again.

I understand that many people do not feel comfortable posting on a public forum. That is your choice. Please, though do not feel the most appropriate time to do so is when you get your BFP. If you want random congrats from people, who do not know you, post your BFP on getting pregnant. This board, is not the one to do it on because we do not know you, nor your story and we can not relate to your hard ship or struggles. To us it is just another stranger on the street pregnant, and if you have been a part of this struggle, you know that sometimes that can sting and sometimes you are not in the mood to see one more pregnant person when you are not. 

We are more then happy to provide you with inspiration to fight this fight. We are more then happy to provide you with strength to continue on. If you are more comfortable in the shadows fine, that is your choice but please respect that random BFP hurt those of us caught in a struggle with obtaining an elusive BFP of our own. - remembering you know us, we do not know you.

We really are great bunch of woman. A lot of these girls have hugged me at my lowest of lows and cried with me, built my strength back up when I didn't think I could go on. I love these girls like they are my sisters and I hate to see them hurt.

So please if you want confetti from us, give us something in return. A hug, advice, whatever you feel comfortable with. I can assure you getting a backflip and an honest to goodness congratulations from your firends when that time comes will beat a 'umm do I know you... congrats I guess'.

And if you do not feel comfortable with the posting things, again I get it. But don't feel comfortable posting a BFP either. Please. 

Thank you! 

A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
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Re: Lurkers please read (ticker in siggy)

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  • Very well written!  I hope it's okay that I speak up on this (given my relative newbishness to this board), but a lot of the ladies on Getting Pregnant get upset at drive-bys too.  They direct drive-bys to the First Tri board.  (I actually do agree that GP is a good place for random BFP announcements but that's besides the point I guess.)
  • Well said. And thanks for sticking by us, krissy! I can't believe how far along you are! :)
    B/G twins!
    image
  • Lightning

    Automobile 


    After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
    image

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • I can't believe people think it's OK to do a drive-by BFP. Thanks for posting this!
  • imagekimarino13:

    Lightning

    Automobile 

    Haha, this cracks me up! 

  • Very well put!
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  • very well said krissy, thanks for always looking out for us!
    imageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • I lurk a lot, but post replies a decent amount too...and I was shocked at some of those announcements recently. THANK YOU for writing this - I hope people will begin to "get it."
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  • Totally agree - it's just rude rude rude. If anyone needs another BFP announcement for the day, I am sure they can go to their FB page and see someone they at least know IRL that they didn't want to hear about.

     

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  • imagesulfababy:
    imagekimarino13:

    Lightning

    Automobile 

    Haha, this cracks me up! 

    me too :)

    Kim rules!

    and so does KRISSY!!  Thanks for always having our back.

    image
    Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

    It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
    MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
  • Can this be a sticky post at the top of the board?  :)  

    image

    IVF #1 = BFP!! So blessed to have our baby boy! IVF #2 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! IVF #3 = Convert to frozen - 1 frostie! FET #1 = 8/14, Two transferred, One stuck! Praying for another healthy miracle! Due: 5/2/13 imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Yes  Well said Krissy!
    SAIFW
    TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
    Clomid/Femara no "O"
    IVF #1 BFN
    FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
    FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
    IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
    IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
    FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
    my blog
    image
  • Thanks for posting.  :)

    Lurkers: It's not that we don't want you here. Please, learn & get support all you need. But you've got to realize that when we don't know you and/or anything about your journey and you post your BFP (with little/no other previous posts) it's similar to a fertile IRL telling us they are pregnant and expecting us to jump up and down for them (and if you have struggled to get pg, you know what this feels like). And by lurking, you should also know what pg announcements can do to many of us. You may have a similar story to some of us, maybe the same dx, etc., and your story and experiences may be able to help someone else.

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  • i agree also.  i think SAL or 1st tri are the best places for a drive by announcement.  at least everyone there has the same thing and it doesn't seem like the drive by is rubbing it in or gloating. 

    i'm from TTCAL and we get them all the time.  the last time i spoke up directly to the drive by i got yelled at by everyone and their mother on the drive by's regular board.  it caused all this drama that was totally unneccessary (sp). 

    i swear i will never understand what is going thru the drive by's mind. 

  • Sh!t I was only posting for 3 months before my BFP and I was still nervous about announcing it here.  There is no way I'd have done it as a lurker. These girls are way to cool to hurt even in the slightest way!
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  • I agree with making this post sticky!  Any way we can make that happen?
    DX: Him: Super sperm Me: Diminished pituitary function due to tumor removed April 2008, MTHFR Hetero C677T & A1298C
    IVF #1-4=BFN IVF #5=BFP! U/S on 5/3 revealed TWINS!

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

  • I pink puffy heart you!!! Thanks for posting this! And this:

    Lightning

    Automobile

    is priceless!!!

  • Yes
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  • Very well said Krissy! 
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  • imagesulfababy:
    Very well written!  I hope it's okay that I speak up on this (given my relative newbishness to this board), but a lot of the ladies on Getting Pregnant get upset at drive-bys too.  They direct drive-bys to the First Tri board. 

    Ditto. If no one on the board knows you, First Tri is probably the best place to post your BFP announcement. Why post your BFP to a bunch of people who don't know you who are trying to get pregnant? It's not like you are going to stay on any of the TTC boards after your BFP.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • thank you very very much! and can I add that I love that you didn't disappear from our board once you got your BFP - thanks for your ongoing support!!
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  • Merci Krissy.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

    image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Perfectly stated.....Thanks.

    image TTC with PCOS since Feb. 07. Currently on a break to save $$ for IUI. Searching for My Mini M&M
  • *round of applause for this thread*
  • Well said, thanks Kirssy!
  • imagelnle:
    thank you very very much! and can I add that I love that you didn't disappear from our board once you got your BFP - thanks for your ongoing support!!

    This was my home for a very long time. Sometimes it is hard to believe I actually am supposed to move somewhere else. I still wake up and log in here first. You girls will always be my sisters. We have known each other far to long for me to move  permanently... not until ALL my girls graduate at least!

    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
    <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
  • imagekrissyh21:
    This was my home for a very long time. Sometimes it is hard to believe I actually am supposed to move somewhere else. I still wake up and log in here first. You girls will always be my sisters. We have known each other far to long for me to move  permanently... not until ALL my girls graduate at least!

    This.  Exactly this.


    After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
    image

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Yes

     

    and Pizza just for fun.    

    Brought to you by IVF, ICSI, limited fert, and oocyte cryopreservation.
    Because we're fancy like that.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagekimarino13:

    Lightning

    Automobile 

    Love it! 

    And Krissy, thanks for posting this.  Your words are truthful and tactful and I appreciate that!

  • Yes for this post

    No  for Automobile

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  • imagekrissyh21:

    This was my home for a very long time. Sometimes it is hard to believe I actually am supposed to move somewhere else. I still wake up and log in here first. You girls will always be my sisters. We have known each other far to long for me to move  permanently... not until ALL my girls graduate at least!

    This is what I appreciate the most and I want to thank you for that. You too, Kim. If/When I graduate, I want to remember where I came from and continue to help others in need while still looking forward.

    Katie, PCOS since May 2005, Fostering since November 2010 Adoption since December 2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    *PCOS bio* *Cold Hands, Warm Heart*
  • Word. Yes
    TTC #1 May/June 2008
    CP 7.19.08
    Dx with PCOS 3.27.09
    HSG 7.15.09 = All clear
    8.09 & 9.09(re-try) IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel=cancelled due to cysts
    10.09 IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel Crinone 8%=BFP!
    22mm Follie / 60mil & 48mil post wash counts Beta #1 (14dpiui)= 102 Beta #2 (18dpiui)= 714 12.3.09 HB 135bpm

    Our baby boy was born on 7.8.10 @ 38 weeks 2 days! 2:17pm 6lbs 8oz 20" long
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
    TTC #2
    HSG 2.2013 - IUI 1/2, 3/4 = BFN - Took 4 month forced break
    IUI 5/6 Clomid 150mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel ( 11 & 15 mil post wash counts) = 2ww
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