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Mom wants me to lose weight first...

RFBsbrideRFBsbride member
in Infertility

Ugh... I just got off the phone with my mother where I told her about our decision to move right into our FET rather than waiting.  She doesn't think it's such a good idea.  She'd rather we wait until I take off at least 20 lbs.  I can't tell you how many times in my 33 years of life I've had conversations with my mother about my losing weight.  It gets really old and obviously doesn't work because I can never seem to lose any weight!  I've asked my doctor at least 10 times if my weight was the reason I went into premature ovarian failure and she has said over and over again that my weight has nothing to do with it.  Yes, I need to lose weight - there's no denying it - but now I'm wondering if I really should put off a FET and lose weight.  I'm sure DH won't go for it but...... I guess I'll just take the next 12 days to do the best I can.

Thanks for listening....

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Re: Mom wants me to lose weight first...

  • MouseygailMouseygail member
    Ugh!  Please don't let this stress you out.  believe in your doctor and if she says that your weight isn't affecting this, then try not to worry about it!  (((HUGS!!!)))))
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  • stepgirl21stepgirl21 member
    I guess I would go with what my doctor says first. If he says that your weight is not a problem, then I would go ahead with your fet. Just try to eat healthy until then and afterward, when you are pg just continue your healthy diet. I do sympathize with you about your mother wanting you to lose weight. I am not overweight but my mother can be overbearing on me staying thin and not gaining anything. It gets very old.

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  • Kiki11Kiki11

    imageMouseygail:
    Ugh!  Please don't let this stress you out.  believe in your doctor and if she says that your weight isn't affecting this, then try not to worry about it!  (((HUGS!!!)))))

     

    Exactly.  Trust your doctor.  And just do the best you can to take care of yourself and get yourself ready to grow some babies :) 

    TTC with unexplained IF since 8/2007 6 losses, one beautiful perfect boy in our arms Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • armywife76armywife76 member
    Agree with pp's. Do what feels right to you and what your doc says. Don't you just love "helpful" motherly advice sometimes?
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  • Rachael07.07.07Rachael07.07.07 member

    Ugh. I agree, i would listen to your doctor first. My mom has been the same way my whole life too. She is the only petite women in our family, not that everyone is big, but she is jsut much smaller by comparison. She used to always poke my stomach and be like "you could stand to lose this" and even did that on my 16th birthday. I was not an overweight kid. I was always playing sports so it hurt. I even developed a bit of an eating disorder in my late teens. I've since gained all that weight back threefold :o( but she'll look at pics of me at my thinnest (which was NOT skeletol, i was still at a tehnically healthy weight, just not maintaining it the right way) and be like, you looked much better then. Yeah mom, I know. Sucks when problems go undiagnosed for 4 yrs and nothing you do helps you lose weight.

    Anyway....lol. Keep your head up and don't let it stress you out.

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  • MrsKimandIanMrsKimandIan

    My Mom and I have the same type of conversations! She was very obese my whole life and had stomach stapling surgery to lose 200+ pounds 8 years ago. I was actually 5 pounds under my ideal weight when I got married and I am now (3 years later) 50 pounds over the upper limit. She keeps calling me and asking me if I have considered the surgery!! I am so pissed about this because - in all honesty - the weight gain has been because I stopped working at it and became lazy. I told her this but she still thinks I should have the surgery. It doesn't help that both my Dad and Aunt have had it too in the last couple years (with fantastic results, I might add).

    But I think the bottom line is that both our moms are worried about our health and it is important to keep that in perspective. If you doctor feels that your weight will not affect the results of FET, then I would go for it. Depending on how close your relationship with your mom is, maybe you should consider bringing her along with you to your next appt. Or, my doctor and I communicate via email, maybe you can get the answer in writing and then show her. This may help alleviate any stress / worry she is feeling. 

    Good luck!!!

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  • hopecountshopecounts member

    Definitely don't stress about it.  Like you said do what you can for the next 12 days and focus on the FET. 

    Best of luck to you w/ your FET!!

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