Preemies

desats, visitors, & babies resting questions

Ok, it's driving me crazy.  I can't see this as normal even though the doctor and nurses keep telling me it is.  Our babies are 33 weeks gestation born last week.  My little girl desats quite a bit, only twice needed oxygen to start breathing again, usually comes back on her own but sometimes needs to be stimulated.  My son just began doing this over night last night and today and with his, his heart rate drops.  It's scary, I hate leaving the unit.  Sometimes when I look I notice my daughter spit up her milk and it's foaming at the mouth or something, that causes it sometimes.  Obviously I can't expect the nurses to sit there in front of them only watching them but I hate that knowing if I were there, I'd not take my eyes off them during a feeding tube feeding and notice if there was spit up right away not just when the beeps go off!  Those that had this happen, how did you handle this?

Also, we decided we have been stimulating them too much.  They don't have any real medical problems, just to feed and grow but the past two days they haven't grown.  The doctor and nurses told us nicely when we came back from lunch it might be better to just let them be to rest more often during the day to let them grow, it may just be too much for them and they are using too much energy.  They are increasing their feedings and doing well with it.  Typically we keep them out about 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time passing them between the two of us and even my parents sometimes and we do this 2 - 3 times a day plus constantly opening the door to touch them.  No one has stopped us and we thought it was normal.  So today we left for a few hours, on our way back soon.  I told my parents we are minimizing how much we hold them for the next few weeks so they can grow.  I'm not trying to deprive them but if we are minimizing, they just have to know they won't hold them as much but they can still come in and see them.  As far as friends and family, I even want to minimize how often visitors see them because we have to lift the blanket off the incubator and that may disturb  them.  I figure we can arrange times and people can come during those times and we take one back after another to look. 

Any thoughts or advice?

Re: desats, visitors, & babies resting questions

  • The desat thing is normal, I know that sounds odd but it is normal.  It'll happen, then it won't...all the sudden  one day you will think wow it hasn't happened for a couple days and you are all clear.  

    We never let anyone hold Brendan but us while he was in the NICU.  This was the nurses and doctors recommendation.  In CNMC they told us at first how much we could hold him, this was determined by how well he was maintaining his temperature. 

    You have to do what you feel is right, if it feels right to you to hold them for 1-2 hours at a time then do that.  Maybe some days you hold them a lot and others not so much just play it by ear.

    Smile 

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  • image*KatieH*:

    The desat thing is normal, I know that sounds odd but it is normal.  It'll happen, then it won't...all the sudden  one day you will think wow it hasn't happened for a couple days and you are all clear.  

    We never let anyone hold Brendan but us while he was in the NICU.  This was the nurses and doctors recommendation.  In CNMC they told us at first how much we could hold him, this was determined by how well he was maintaining his temperature. 

    You have to do what you feel is right, if it feels right to you to hold them for 1-2 hours at a time then do that.  Maybe some days you hold them a lot and others not so much just play it by ear.

    Smile 

    Thank you!  I needed to hear this.  Yesterday was the first day after my c section where I stayed all day, 12 hours.  And I felt guilty going home.  My plan was to do that every day and today I'm home right now to avoid stimulation too much.  I feel guilty.  I just want to make sure I'm doing what's right.  It's hard to believe letting them be and not hold them all day is right.  I guess it's only until they get out of the incubator and on to a normal crib.

  • Please remember to give yourself a break.  Noone will judge you for not being there all day, and if they do honestly they suck.  

    If you ever need to talk email me: mrskatieh@gmail.com.

    I am up at all hours...  :)  

  • image*KatieH*:

    Please remember to give yourself a break.  Noone will judge you for not being there all day, and if they do honestly they suck.  

    If you ever need to talk email me: mrskatieh@gmail.com.

    I am up at all hours...  :)  

    Thank you, I may just take you up on your offer!

  • I did go most days all day but I could not hold him until he came off the vent at 13 days old.  After that, only DH and I held him until he came home.  Even though I stayed all day, I did not do much with Ryan during that time.  I brought magazines and a breast feeding book and just felt good being near him but I did not have to watch him breathe and watch his monitors which can drive you CRAZY!  I also took breaks where I would walk down to the lounge, get a drink or a snack, and so on.  There was one day where DH went for most of the day and I took the day off and went baby shopping with my mom (it was close to his homecoming) and I went to see him that evening.  It felt good to take a break and I probably should have done that sooner.  Do what feels right.  No one is judging you and no one can bc they are not in your shoes.  As far as overstimulating, that can be a big problem as it was for my DS so we just limited visitors and like I said, I just read near him so I was there but not over stimulating.   
  • What your doctors are saying sounds right. ?Sometimes handling them less is giving them more (if that makes any sense). ?You are not a bad mom for not spending every waking moment with them. ?You are actually being a good mom. ?Your twins need a well rested, healed, healthy mother to care for them just as much as they need lots of sleep, quiet, and time alone to grow and develop. ?I know it sounds unnatural, but it's fact. ?Hang in there. ?This part of mothering will soon be a distant memory of the past!
    Claire Avery born at 32 weeks on 10/25/06 Keira Leigh born at 27 weeks on 4/29/08
  • The desating is normal and goes away as babies mature.

    As far as visitors - In our NICU they were very strict about holding and visitors.  We  only held DS for about an hour a day.  Like the pp I spent alot of time just sitting next to the isolette and watching, but not really disturbing him.  When it was time for diaper changes, bath, etc I tried to be as involved as possible but other than that I tried to just let him rest. 

    Our NICU only allowed parents and grandparents to visit.  For a long time only DH or I held DS and grandparents only visited if one of us was present.  My mom held DS for the first time a week or so before he came home.  

    You have to do what you are comfortable with and don't be afraid to stand your ground with friends and family.  Your primary job is to protect your babies not to keep everyone happy.

    Kelly, Mom to Noah 8.27.05 (born at 26 weeks)
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  • No-one held my little one but me and her dad. This was a rule in our NICU.

    I'm not sure why they told you that you are 'overstimulating' your twins?  De-stating is normal and I don't think it has anything to do with you opening the door and holding them.  I've just never heard of that.  Im so sorry.  We were always encouraged to come in and and touch her and change her.  We just couldn't hold her for over an hr.  There were several days were my little one didn't grow. 

     Again, Im so sorry you're going through this after all you've been through to get pg.  ((HUGS)) 

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  • image*KatieH*:

    The desat thing is normal, I know that sounds odd but it is normal.  It'll happen, then it won't...all the sudden  one day you will think wow it hasn't happened for a couple days and you are all clear.  

    We never let anyone hold Brendan but us while he was in the NICU.  This was the nurses and doctors recommendation.  In CNMC they told us at first how much we could hold him, this was determined by how well he was maintaining his temperature. 

    You have to do what you feel is right, if it feels right to you to hold them for 1-2 hours at a time then do that.  Maybe some days you hold them a lot and others not so much just play it by ear.

    Smile 

    Ditto, ditto, and ditto!

  • It is normal. They call them As & Bs - Apneas and Bradycarcdias because they go together. Eventually Robbie outgrew the Apnea, but would still brady all the time because he had reflux. They have a nerve that is easily stimulated that can cause it- and having the tube down their esophagus makes it worse.

    As for holding them- holding them is very imp't for their development as well, but moving them around a lot is very stimulating. If you want to hold them for a few hours a day, I think that's fine (I would often hold Robbie 3-4 hours at a time, giving up only because I need to pee or pump) but perhaps you and your husband could each hold one for the whole time, and switch off day to day instead of frequently throughout the day.

    Hang in there..You'll probably hear "normal preemie stuff" about a zillion times before the babies get to come home.. you'll want to smack the next person who says that, but it really is true.

     

  • DS was born at 34 weeks 1 day and also had issues with desatting and heartrate decreases (bradycardias).  Those are completely normal, and will just stop one day.

    I would also spend all day with DS in the NICU.  DH would drop me off on his way to work and come by after work.  After he came out of his isolette and into a regular crib, I was allowed to hold him whenever I wanted but while he was in his isolette they limited me to an hour at a time.  We also had a rule of only me and DH being allowed to hold him.  Other people could come visit, but no holding.  

    Having a LO in the NICU is the hardest thing I've ever been through.  Just remember to take it day by day, or hour by hour, or even minute by minute if you need to.  And take care of yourself.  Your babies need a healthy, rested mommy to come home to!

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  • We also did not let anyone hold him while he was in the NICU but DH and I. Early on, before they told us we were allowed to hold him, they figured out that he was not doing well in the open bassinet and they switched him to the closed, covered isolette. They told us that he needed minimal stimulation to mimic a womblike environment in order to get better faster. It was several days before they decided he was stable enough for us to hold him and then it was only at feeding times, 8, 11, 2 and 5, and only for about 30 minutes. That was the rule for the entire time he was in the NICU. It was definitely hard to not hold him at all and then to have such limited times to hold him, although we knew it was best for him. Like pps have said, my DH spent a lot of time just sitting next to the covered isolette, just to be close to Wyatt. I had Mason in the hospital room and then Mason and Rhett at home, so my time at the NICU was very limited. Once we left the hospital I only made it up there once a day. I felt like people did pass judgment on me sometimes when they made comments about not having seen me for a while, etc. but I just had to force myself to ignore them. I knew I loved both of my babies very much and I had to do what was best for our whole family.
    Kimberly, DH Monte, Angel baby 10/06, Angel twin 7/07, Rhett Kaden, our IVF miracle, born 3/23/08, Mason Robert & Wyatt David, our FET miracles, born 8/2/09 at 36 weeks, 3 days
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  • I agree the desats are normal the only thing that throws me a little is you say its happening during tube feeds and no one is watching her.  At our NICU they gavage fed most babies that were planning to move to bottles as soon as they were ready.  This meant they placed the tube for each feeding so the nurse or parent had to be there holding the tube.  

     I agree that it sounds like your little guys have been getting alot of stimulation.  I spent 8-2 in the NICU most days and then went back again with DH at night.  I held them each once during the day for up to an hour (sometimes tube feeding, sometimes breastfeeding) and then we each held one for an hour at night.  That's it.  Other than that we let them sleep.  We didn't talk to them or interact with them.  I basically sat there and read most of the time.   

     We didn't let others hold them until about a week before they were ready to come home... so 35 weeks gestation.  At that point my brother held them once and my grandmother held them once.  Our NICU was pretty strict and gave us guidelines of caring for preemies that I posted on our blog so family members would know.  Passing them around is really stimulating for them and we still don't allow that much even now that they are older.  They still become overwhelmed.  

    Having babies in the NICU is hard.  You are doing the best you can.  Goodluck and enjoy them! 


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  • we only allowed US to hold our girls while they were in teh NICU at the advice of one of our NICU nurses early on. At first they were only allowed out for a 1/2 hour a day and we didn't want to chance that one of our parents or relatives who were allowed in would come up and hold them and then we wouldn't be allowed to do so when we were there. Later on, it was super cool to be there when we 'allowed' our parents to hold them for the first time. We also made it very clear that there was to be no loud talking in their room (our NICU had private rooms) so taht we didn't over stimulate them that way too...too much stimulation made one of my girls destat a lot more than she would normally. As they got bigger we just took them out ot feed them and then left them in their isolettes to rest after feeds...once however, when they were in open cribs we did the same thing...we wanted them to sleep and grow. We wouldn't allow our families when tehy came home from teh NICU to hold them while they were sleeping either...I'm convinced that's why my girls are such good sleepers today. :)
  • desating is totally normal. my daughter is now term. (her edd is tomorrow.) and she still has cyclical (self correcting) desats to 88 or so. she has been diagnosed with cld though.

    she was born at 27 weeks, and until about 30-34 we didn't stimulate her much at all. (as far as being careful how we caressed her, and holding her kangaroo style etc.) but we still held her twice a day. she didn't really have that many visitors until around 35 weeks or so, but they've always held her for a short time. and we never had a whole bunch of people at one particular time. it's always been spread out at about 1 visitor a day. if you feel like you need to cut back, i would lessen the time to something you're comfortable with, not necessarily cut out visitors/holding altogether.

    as far as lifting the isolette cover, i wouldn't worry about that. one of the neonatologists at the nicu here is an ROP research fiend from a university in kansas. so, our nicu has a policy after 34 weeks they have the isolette covers off during the day for eye development anyway. you might ask them what their policy is on that, and maybe do some research on your own. (i still cover her eyes when she's furrowing her brow like the light is bothering her, and always for hours after an ROP exam.)

    i think holding is absolutely necessary to bonding for you and the little ones... i would just watch their heartrates, and desats, they'll tell you how they want to be held, what they'll tolerate, and how often. we had many nurses who tried to bully us into doing things a particular way, and at first we always listened to them. as we've gotten to know her likes and dislikes we're now able to make decisions on our own. remember: you see them everyday, in all different activities, and many times you'll have different nurses, even different doctors making decisions from day to day. 

    oh! and be careful not to get addicted to the monitors- we've spent countless hours just staring at those things...  finally the nurses made the point that we won't have that to rely on when we get home... they started turning the monitor away from us during feeding and handling- making sure we watched her color and breathing and mood. its good that you're watching them instead of waiting on the machines.

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