Miscarrying and trying to get a handle on emotions

rastabride08 · August 2009

I started bleeding today at work which started out as brown spotting but increased to red and clotty. I was only 5 weeks, but wow...I can't believe how devastated I am. I had lab work done to check my betas but I know it will only confirm what I know to be true. I'm miscarrying. This was my first pregnancy and it's crazy how much hope you have wrapped up in tiny, little fetus. DH has been amazing (in fact he's out buying me pads right now), and we will try again. But what makes me the saddest is I will never be excited again to get a BFP. That feeling has been taken from me. Sorry for rambling...just trying to get a hold of all these emotions.

Has anyone miscarried this early? Will I need a D&C or will this all happen naturally? I have an ultrasound next Friday to confirm.

I wish the best to all of you and am glad support like this exists for us.

Seamonkey88 · August 2009

I understand what you mean about the pregnancy test, I am hoping that I can still find a piece that is excited once we are ready to try again. I believe that you only need a D & C if it doesnt happen naturally. I am so sorry for your loss. Its nice and helpful when your dh is as supportive as yours sounds. Hugs!

ezbakejess · August 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss

I agree that losing your "pregnancy innocence" is a difficult part of all this. My mom (who also had an early m/c) said that when you get your next BFP it's never the same, just a different kind of excitement. Less giddy excitement, more grateful joy.

If you don't naturally m/c by your appointment, just talk to your Dr about your choices. It's a very personal choice for you, your DH, and your Dr to make.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

kbfny7 · August 2009

So sorry for you and DH. I'm right there with you sister. We were so excited to see our 4 (yes we took 4) BFP's on July 4th, we told everyone. Friday night I was spotting and I lost the baby. It actually had not grown in weeks the u/s tech said. But I know how you feeling, it is one of lifes greatest joys to know your having a baby then in a matter of seconds gets ripped right away. I just had a natural miscarriage, which is what I was hoping for. It was painful but I was glad I did not have to have a surgical procedure. Praying for you and DH..HUGS

rastabride08 · August 2009

Thanks to all of you and your kind words. It's helps tremendously knowing I'm not alone.

Ohio_Wedding · August 2009

i am sorry this is happening to you. rest assured, you are not alone. i went through an early m/c this month at 6 weeks and felt a real sadness and like something very important had been taken from me.

the ladies on this board are a great support and source of information and advice.

CaptainD · August 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. I miscarried at 6 weeks and everything happened naturally. No need for a D&C. My bleeding only lasted a week (like a period) and we waited two cycles before TTC. We got pregnant again shortly after - and I'm 37!

I know the pain is great - it doesn't matter when it happens during the pregnancy, the pain is great. Hang in there and know that your time will come.

*kendrick* · August 2009

I'm so sorry. I MCed two weeks ago at just under 5 weeks. I felt physically and emotionally terrible for a week. This second week has been better. I know what you mean about the charm of future BFPs being gone. We'd been trying for almost a year, so we'd given up hope for a BFP and were even scheduled to start with some IF diagnostics. It was such a shock & joy to get the BFP and so heartbreaking to have it gone.

I am glad your DH is being so supportive. Sharing your grief--even if it manifests very differently--is so important.

Nitty gritty warning:
For me, it happened naturally. I was saving my tissue so I saw that I passed the tiny embryo right away. I think it is rare to actually see the embryo, but I had in a menstrual cup (I knew the MC was coming) so everything was very much contained and intact. The only reason I knew what it was it because the yolk and amniotic sacs were still intact. After that initial 3-4 hour gush, I had nothing for a few hours. I was at the doctor's then and she said my cervix looked even then as though I hadn't even been PG. So sad, since I had been feeling many sympotms. After that I had two heavier than normal days, then a spotting day, then another day of flow, and then 4 more days of spotting.

lax15bsu · August 2009

I'm so sorry...

vkbaby09 · August 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. My first loss was at about 5 1/2 weeks and it happened totally naturally. Everyone's different though, but it sounds like yours may be happening naturally too. Only your dr. can tell though for sure.

I totally understand the feeling of never being able to be fully excited about being pregnant again. It's going to be super scary no matter the circumstances for me. I'm just going to hope for the best and take it one day at a time. Take care.

themissizz · August 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss and completely understand how you're feeling. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum at 9w3d. It was my first pregnancy too. I'm terrified of what will happen the next time around. I know that I'm going to be paranoid with everything I do. I wish that I had answers for you but pray that you find comfort and healing in this hard time.

princesscb22 · August 2009

I am so sorry this is happening to you! I just found out on monday that I had another m/c (my 2nd). I was about 5 weeks along both times. After my 1st m/c, when I got my first BFP, I was very grateful, but VERY nervous! And I wish I could tell you that my nervousness stopped at some point....it didn't! Throughout the whole pregnancy, I felt like i was on pins and needles, until she delivered. I felt like I could no longer trust my body, and that she wouldn't be safe until she was out of me. The one thing my miscarriage did for me though, is make me more thankful for what I have. With my 1st daughter, I guess I never realized that things could go wrong. After my m/c I realized what a miracle it is to deliver a full term baby! My thoughts and prayers are with you are your DH. Please remember to give yourself time to grieve! No matter how you put it, or when it happened in your pregnancy, you lost a child! There's nothing wrong with grieving! Sending you big hugs and lots and lots of baby dust!

may22 · August 2009

I am in week 2 after m/c, and the emotions are a roller coaster, I think I am doing better and something will creap up that will make me cry. DH has said i am more emotional than usual too, to which I respond by yelling at him "Really...When!" So it is a little trip, but from what i have read that everyone else has said it will get easier. (((HUGS)))

Want a personalized experience?

Miscarrying and trying to get a handle on emotions

Re: Miscarrying and trying to get a handle on emotions

Choose Another Board

Search Boards