so I'm 36 weeks and my boyfriend is leaving me...

wendylea73 · August 2009

I'm basically in shock and don't know why I'm even posting this considering all (or most) of you are in healthy committed relationships...and it's embarrassing to say the least. I just can't believe I'm this far along and thought we were making a family (I have a DD, so does he, now we're expecting our son) and out of the blue he says I'm smothering him and he has no privacy...so he's leaving. Says he never wanted this and was only here so he could see his son because he thinks I will try and keep him away. He says when I got pregnant he loved me alot more than he does now.

I feel like my insides are going to come out...I can't eat or sleep...and feel guilty for my LO that I'm in such a bad place 3-4 weeks before his arrival. I know none of you can fix this but I feel like the worst mom ever by not seeing any of this coming, and worry about the health of my little one with all this stress at this point in the pregnancy.

Any words of encouragement would be appreciated...

Becky262 · August 2009

I'm so sorry

mckelvykr · August 2009

I'm sorry you are going through this! I can not imagine what you are going through. Make sure you get his visitation court ordered & CS set up right away.

TiaLC · August 2009

That really stinks, just remember to keep your head up and to take care of you and your LO.

I hope that you can work something out, maybe he's just getting baby cold feet?!?!

kimberlyk921 · August 2009

i'm so sorry you have to go through this, no matter what stage of pregnancy, something like that is never easy. i will be praying for you and hoping that everything works out for the best. i think sometimes we forget that pregnancy is also rough on our SO's, maybe once he sees your son and sees you in him, he will realize he loves you and still wants to be together.

TarheelsInNJ · August 2009

OMG, I'm so sorry... I don't even know what to say, other than that you're strong and you'll make it through. You are NOT the worst mom ever, not by any stretch. Just focus on your son (and DD) and you'll make it through.

Jocelyn0415 · August 2009

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! Honestly, it sounds like you're better off without him. I know it seems hard now, but you'll get through it. As impossible as it may be, try not to stress too much.

alexisz523 · August 2009

I'm so sorry this is happening. You need to make sure you are drinking and eating. Not eating is not good for the baby.

Caitlin & Sean · August 2009

I am so very sorry. I guess if it were going to happen it is better it happened before the baby is here. Do you have family or friends near by? I am sure you dont know which way is up right now, but you will make it through . How long were you together?

bunintheoven76 · August 2009

I know that it is hard, but you need to calm down and think about your LO... they need you to be strong, this is a crucial time and you need to take care of yourself. And honestly, what kind of man is that that would up and leave you in the most important event of your lives? He is leaving before you have the baby? How unsupportive, and uncaring can a man get? You need to think about you... any unneeded stress will just upset the LO and make things worse....

You are in my thoughts, and just know that you are better than all of this... good luck sweetheart! I am so sorry that you are going through this.

ivs112 · August 2009

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but do not think you are the worst mom in the world! All I can say is try to remain stress free until after his arrival and then try to work things out if possible. Maybe you guys can go to counseling or something and if not, it's not the end of the world. Good luck!

ssmith1005 · August 2009

I am so sorry. I hope you two can work it out.

mags1984 · August 2009

I am so sorry, that really sucks!! My DD is 2 and when i found out i was pregnant with her, her father left and we havent seen him since, I am in a great relationship now, but just know things will get better, i am sure you are a strong woman and will push through, your LO will make things feel better when he/she arrives, and after that you will just have to take it a day at a time, my thoughts are with you.

Liss_37 · August 2009

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I'm not trying to give you false hopes or anything but is it possible that he is just having a panic attack and freak out moment because of all the new impending changes? when my sister was pregnant with her first her bf decided to "leave her" right before their daughter was born, but after she was born he realized how big of a mistake he had made and that he was just scared. they are now happily married and have had 2 more children.

either way i know nothing will make you feel better, but we are all here for you. I'll be thinking of you and sending you positive thoughts

((HUGS))

tak2002 · August 2009

I'm so sorry sweetie Sad

. I know it doesn't help at all, but perhaps it's good this happened now rather than when you have a baby in the house? I know no time is a good time...just take some time for yourself and your baby- take care of you & your little one!!

nicolebuchalla · August 2009

I'm so sorry this is happening. I really hope either a) he just has cold feet and realizes he's being silly, or b) that you're able to find some peace and at least eat and sleep. Good luck!

CourtneyAnn · August 2009

I'm sorry to hear that. What a rough situation. I hope you have some support (family/friends) near by that can help you through. At least you have a couple of weeks to come up with a plan for when LO arrives. It seems like it's his issues and all you can do is be the best mom you can be for your children.

mchopard · August 2009

i'm so sorry! take care of you and your baby, that comes first!

MissLinz · August 2009

Would he be willing to go to counseling? I am so sorry. Take care of yourself and eat.

sandollar · August 2009

What a jerk, I am SO sorry. This happened to one of my close friends, he left her 2 weeks before the baby was born. I am sure I don't even know how hard it was for her, but she has her beautiful son, the help of her family, and now is in an AMAZING new relationship with her real soul mate. Try to get as much help as you can and stay strong for your baby.

Genevieved · August 2009

I'm sorry, However I sure regardless you are going to be a wonderful mom, sometimes it is just hard to see these things coming. They say that kids raised in a happy one parent home are better off than if parents who were unhappy stayed together.

Do your best to clam yourself down for you and the baby, maybe go get a message. Also I'm sure someday you will find someone wonderful, chances are if he isn't will to hang around now you can do better.

ashdonne · August 2009

A.C.Soup!!!:
I'm so sorry this is happening. You need to make sure you are drinking and eating. Not eating is not good for the baby.

This--I am so sorry that you are going through this. Take care of yourself.

PizzaBride · August 2009

There's no way you could've seen this coming. You are not a bad mom at all. I am so sorry that he is putting you through this so late in your pregnancy. *hugs*

Sheila.Scully · August 2009

First of all, do not blame your self or think yourself a bad mother! YOU did nothing wrong. You can not control his actions or lack of actions. This was his choice not yours. All you can do is concentrate on your children. They are what is important and from what I read, you never lost that focus like he obviously did. Sounds like he is using this as an excuse. If he already has a daughter, how involved is he with her and her mother. This might be a repeated thing. Only one common element there. HIM! He doesn't sound like he is worth the effort or feelings you are haveing. I know, easier said than done. I would forget about him and find support elsewhere. Family or friends will be there for you. Like pp said, get custody asap and get support. If he comes back to you, then it is then your choice to keep him or not. If he stays away, then he needs to pay. That all being said, my prayers are for you and your children. Don't feel ashamed to tell us! Most of us understand more than you know. You need to get it out of your system somehow. The whole point of this is to get support and answers (prayers) from other women going through pregnancy. You have it whole heartedly.

Jenn.J. · August 2009

I am so sorry this is going on. Stay strong for your LO and DD.

kendi823 · August 2009

I just wanted to say how so sorry I am, and that I hope you feel better soon. I can't imagine how you must feel right now

MrsLeslie030405 · August 2009

I can't even imagine the emotions you are wrestling with! Maybe reality is setting in for him and his scared? Take it one day at a time and lean on friends and family for support and you can get through this. Who knows what may happen after the baby's born... you discover how strong you are and if he changes his mind and you work it out, great... if not his loss!

hipstrix · August 2009

There's a special place in h*ll for your boyfriend. This will make you stronger, even though it's hard now.

imaPrincess · August 2009

I am so sorry, try and stay strong for your LO, you aren't a bad mother. I hope everything works out for you.

babyxmas · August 2009

My best friend just went through the same thing. I always hated when people said this to me but...what's meant to be is meant to be. You can't make someone want to be with you. The only thing you have control over is trying to be the best mom you can to your LO's. I wish you luck and a speedy 'recovery' (it will happen).

justme04 · August 2009

My fiancee and I had been broken up for 3 weeks in January and I got pregnant the last week in January when we made up. So I have a fear that he is going to leave me again. Though he assures me that he only needed some space to think and that all the wedding planning had just been to much for him. I still ask him every now and then if he feels trapped because I became pregnant...he says no and its the best thing that could have happend to us and our relationship, because it helped him to realize that this whole life and family is exactly what he wanted with me. I still feel guilty for getting knocked up and i didnt plan it...i didnt expect it.

cagreeran · August 2009

You WILL get through this with your beautiful LO! Saying a prayer for you, be strong!

ajgreez · August 2009

Oh Honey. I am so sorry. Good luck to you. My DH and I had a REALLY rough spot during my second trimester, and luckily things panned out. Maybe that will happen for you guys too? You are in my thoughts.

Mrs.Bert · August 2009

I am so sorry this is happening to you right now! Try to take care of yourself and your LO - that's the most important thing now. Do you have any family or close friends nearby you could lean on for support? I wish you and your baby all the best! ::hugs::

fairychick77 · August 2009

Gosh, I'm sorry! What a douchebag! Try to be strong for your baby. I know it's hard right now, but you will get through it somehow.

::BIG HUGS::

Mommi2B2009 · August 2009

If he's so self-absorbed to be putting you through this when you are carrying HIS child, then he isn't worth it! Keep your head up, and remember that all of us bumpies are here for you!! We'll be praying for you and your LO!! Smile

New to DC · August 2009

I am so sorry you have to go through this. No one deserves it. Something similar happened to my cousin and my DH, who's an attorney, advised her through all the legal stuff. My advice would be to get child support set up right away and go through the court. Do not let him tell you he will give you money directly. I do not know him and I do not want to judge him, but a court order for CS is always better than a verbal agreement between the two of you. Trust me...I've seen my cousin struggle through this. Sorry to get all legal, but this is very important! The last thing you need is all the financial burden falling on your shoulders.

And I will agree with the pp. What is meant to be will be. Sometimes things/people are taken out of out lives in order to make room for something/someone ten times better! Keep your head up. By no means does this make you a bad mom! You can give your DS all the love he will ever need and want, plus more! You have to believe that!

MrsM2008 · August 2009

I am so sorry for what you are going through!

chasity2482 · August 2009

I am in the same boat, it has been devasting especially this is the last few weeks I really needed him. I am sorry but you really just have to try to stay strong, atleast thats what I keep telling myself! Right Hug

wingsfan524 · August 2009

I am so sorry! Try to focus on your little man. Like PP said, make sure to get CS lined up once he is here. Be strong and we are all thinking about you.

kkenner · August 2009

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was more that I could say to make you feel better. I hope you have a good network of friends and a close family. Lean on them for support! I hope things work out for you. Best of luck!

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