When does the exhaustion end? Vent really..

ai&Jas · August 2009

Hi Ladies,

I have an 18 month old, work 5 days a week, do most of the house work, cooking and looking after DD. My DH spends most of his time off work going back and forth to help his dying mother with her house, chores and taking her to the drs etc...I use to do both but I just can't anymore so he's looking all things related to his mother while I take care of our stuff...

I just want to know, when will I stop feeling so exhausted?? I've joined the work gym so hopefully working out during lunch breaks will give me more energy (I use to work out alot before DC came!).

DH wants another baby next year but honestly, I feel as though I can barely cope with just 1 child! I love my DD, but I'm seriously thinking that i'm content with 1 baby and really dont want another one...EVER-- which is unfair because I know DH wants one and we did agree on 2! Urgh..just venting!

How do you deal with the exhaustion and how are you finding time to relax etc?

Thanks for reading...vent over!

duchess0727 · August 2009

When your kids go to college? (:

I feel the exact same way you do. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get to bed before 11 pm. By the time the kids are in bed, the house is put back together, stuff is prepared for daycare, bills are paid, paperwork dealt with, laundry folded, etc., it is almost always 10 pm. Then by the time I sit for 30 minutes and get ready for bed, it is 11. Then I'm up at 6 to get myself ready, the kids ready, maybe get a few bites of cereal (if I don't have to share it all with my son), and attempt to get to work by 8:30. At work, if I really budget my time well, I can get 30 minutes at the gym once or twice a week. Right now I'm eating brownies for lunch b/c I don't have time to get lunch because I have too many other personal things to do today - dr appts, car appts, insurance paperwork.

All I dream of is a few nights of solid sleep. I felt like crap yesterday and I still didn't have time to get in bed to rest until 10:30 and then I had to wake my daughter up at 11 pm to have her bottle.

The only thing I can do right now is try to make time for the gym (we put the kids in the gym daycare and they actually cooperated this weekend so there is hope!) and hire a sitter to watch the kids on Sat nights so we can go out. I wish I had a better answer!

ai&Jas · August 2009

Thanks Duchess!! Ok I really shouldnt complain because I only have 1

Yep I get everything ready before bed also and the house almost put together.

I was hoping for some time before colleage..LOL!

azuremama · August 2009

I feel your pain. I am exhausted most of the time and I know DH is, too. This is a big issue for us because I'd like to have another baby and he is on the fence right now mostly because he's so tired all the time. And our ds is a pretty good sleeper, so I can't even blame it on that.

Sometimes working out helps and sometimes it makes me more tired! I do sleep really well when I'm working out, though. Mostly, I'm drinking a lot of coffee these days.

momofolivia · August 2009

when you find out let me know. DH helps out a ton and yet I always feel like I am tunning around doing something!

luvmagoldn · August 2009

DH and I have decided we will be exhausted for the forseeable future. I keep reminding myself that one day the kids will be grown and it will be difficult to get them to call or come home. Wink

Can you get some more taken off your plate? How about having someone clean your house every couple of weeks?

duchess0727 · August 2009

azuremama:

Mostly, I'm drinking a lot of coffee these days.

Me, too! If it weren't for coffee, I don't know where I'd be right now. The cleaning person helps -definitely. Except that last night I had to stay up to clean for the cleaning lady - ahh!

Pesky · August 2009

Probably around the same time my ob told me my libido would return -- when my youngest is 5-6 and is way more self-sufficient. Hence I'm thinking #3 is doubtful at best. I just get the rest when I can. And schedule, schedule, schedule. I have a schedule for both of the kids (well, as much as I can for DS now) and stick to it -- primarily a bedtime schedule. DD has to have dinner by 5:45 at the latest and is up getting ready for bed by 6:30 and we leave her room between 7-7:15. DS right now snoozes for a while or just hangs out until somewhere between 8-9 and then gets a bath, bottle and bed for him. I just try to keep organized and prepare as much as I can the day before. In terms of finding time to relax, uh, yeah. My most relaxing time is giving DS his bottle before he goes to bed. Anything else requires a sitter right now. I have noticed that I can get more time to do stuff with just DD now as she is older and able to play by herself okay or I can (gasp) park her in front of the tv for a bit and she will be happy. And with just her, I had that time after she went to bed to do stuff and relax and know it will likely be the same in year and a half with DS. So I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but it's a loooonnnngggg tunnel....

ai&Jas · August 2009

I love the idea of a house keeper but DH is weird about other people coming in to clean. I've told him that once I make 6 figures then I will get someone in and that's the end of it. Until then he has promised to help out more when he can. This is selfish but I'm so glad I'm not the only exhausted mommy out there!

krub · August 2009

It's getting better for me now. DD is 2 y/o and sleeps well most nights, so that helps. She is getting more self sufficient and less needy, too. Although, my DS doesn't nap, so that leaves no down time for me on the weekends. I've learned to let a lot of things go, learned to make things easy on myself and I have a cleaning lady come 1x a month.

soccermom-to-be · August 2009

ai&Jas:
I love the idea of a house keeper but DH is weird about other people coming in to clean. I've told him that once I make 6 figures then I will get someone in and that's the end of it. Until then he has promised to help out more when he can. This is selfish but I'm so glad I'm not the only exhausted mommy out there!

I totally understand how your DH feels because I too was weirded out at the thought of strangers in my house while I was gone. Now that we're expecting DD #2, I just don't have the energy to clean and I personally didn't want to spend the little energy I do have on the weekends making the house look tidy. So, we hired someone to come in once a week and it's made a huge difference. We still keep things neat in between cleanings but to not have to clean the bathrooms, wash the floors or make up the beds has been a huge help. We still do our own laundry because I just couldn't let that go but if you can get your DH to come around it will help.

Your circumstances right now with you having to take on more because your husband is helping out his family has got to be tough. Hang in there and do what you can and remember that sometimes laundry can go an extra day and the dishes won't explode if you leave them in the sink for even longer :-)

soccermom-to-be · August 2009

Oh, for what it's worth, I couldn't even fathom having another baby for a long time and we discussed being one and done. Somehow things started to get a bit easier when DD turned 2 and that's when I decided I could handle it and so, alas, we're due in a few weeks.

Mjmksb04 · August 2009

ai&Jas:
I love the idea of a house keeper but DH is weird about other people coming in to clean. I've told him that once I make 6 figures then I will get someone in and that's the end of it. Until then he has promised to help out more when he can. This is selfish but I'm so glad I'm not the only exhausted mommy out there!

For me, I just quit worrying about the house being spotless and just keep on top of the important chores like having the dishes done, floors vacuumed, bathrooms clean. It has really lowered my stress level. I also let some of that go so that I can take a half hour at night to do what I want, whether it is read a book or magazine for a few minutes or veg out in front of the TV.

grrlygirl · August 2009

I hear you. DD is a crappy sleeper (we're doing ferber over labor day weekend, she needs to sleep - not just for our sake but for hers as well), and I work FT, have an hour commute each way....and the stuff to do is endless.

We hired a housekeeper every other week, we have set time designated for chores or house projects every weekend - one of us takes the baby and the other goes and does stuff. DH goes to the gym 3x a week right after work, I'm fitting in 1 yoga class a week on Saturday mornings.

But we are tired all the time. I cannot fathom another child, I really can't.

riv08 · August 2009

I am so glad others feel this way too. I kept thinking I was the only one. My daughter is one and my family keeps asking me when is the next baby. I don't know if we are going to have another because we are too tired with one child. Most of my other friends want to have 3+ kids and are SAHM, so it's hard to talk to them.

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