DH is making me go see a therapist

momofolivia · August 2009

So my post below I mentioned that i had a doctors appointment (GYN). I have some major tramua from birth and it causes intense pain. The doctor at the end of the appointment (after I ugly cried all over him and demanded he "get back down there and fix me") asked me if I am happy and suggested I go see a physchologist to deal with the effects of this issue.

When I told DH, he pretty much told me that he wants me to go see someone. I've got a lot of other stuff going on besides the pain, and he thinks that it would help me be happier.

IDK, I guess I feel guilty for not being happy. Like I have a job when other don't, so I shouldn't hate it. I have a wonderful family and amazing little girl, when other struggle for that or have medical issues like the post below about the little baby dying. I have so mnay blessings, but really have a hard time seeing the bigger picture sometimes.

I know a lot of you all are in therapy for marriages, but does anone go just for themselves? I have done it once when I was younger (like mid-20s younger), and I found it very uncomfortable to talk about myself like that. It was not very effective. any positive stories?

jessicada76 · August 2009

I have not gone - ever. But just want to say that it might help?! I am not sure i could do it either though?! But I kind of need to and was "told" to by a friend that I confided some personal information to. So.............I am kind of in the same boat - I need to go but don't really want to go. Just know girl - even though you are blessed you still have a right to feel the way you want to feel! Don't feel guilty for these feelings!

acppa · August 2009

I've never been to one but sometimes it's easier for other people to know that you need to talk to someone. I'm guessing that your DH cares a ton about you so much so that he wants you to talk to someone. If it were me I would give it a try.

Maybe call around to some places and ask therapists about their approach to therapy. Hopefully you can find someone who clicks with you and will talk with you and not just ask you questions (which is what I'm assuming, maybe wrongly, they do).

ilovemygirls · August 2009

I have seen a therapist a couple of times in my life for short stints to help me get through some stuff. I think that it really takes finding the right person you are comfortable talking with. The one I loved the most was an older (60's) man who was just so awesome & compassionate. I went to a woman that I liked, but before that had an appt w/one that just made me uncomfortable so I didn't go back. It's not a negative thing to go- it's a very proactive and healthy thing to do. Best of luck!

Josie22 · August 2009

I went and it helped me out alot. I was a suicidal teen and it really helped me get out of that thinking. Just make sure you find someone your comfortable with.

JulieandBen · August 2009

I honestly think that everyone can benefit from therapy. I do yoga. It's my cheap therapy. I've mentioned to Ben in the past that perhaps I should get into therapy. He just says I don't need therapy. I need an attitude adjustment. Nice. I went to therapy for most of my teenage years and I feel it's very healthy and cleansing to be able to talk 100% open with someone.

The trick is to find someone you feel comfortable with. Perhaps a woman you won't worry is thinking you are a silly woman for feeling your feelings. I am pretty much an open book and will talk to just about anyone, so I've found it easier for me. I also felt comfortable with my male shrink and my male psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was for medication purposes only.

Just because you have a blessed life does not mean you are expected to feel happy and blessed all the time. Sure you have a job while other don't. It doesn't mean you love your job. Or wouldn't rather be home with your daughter on some or all days.

I think if your car is broken then you fix it. Fix your emotional health so you can enjoy this wonderful life you are leading. Wonderful mother, wife, career woman. It's not just an automatic feeling sweetie. Try not to feel guilty about not being happy. That's what a shrink is for. To help you.

And good for your husband for loving you enough that he recognizes and is suggesting you need a little help. You have a keeper babe!

Pesky · August 2009

Yes. I went for a period of time when I was having some difficulty in a new job and tensions in a close friendship. I found it very helpful for the few months I needed it and then I stopped the therapy when I felt I was done. To help you, figure out what you want from therapy -- do you just want someone to listen to you vent and help you figure out how you are feeling about it? Do you want someone to listen and make suggestions as to ways to deal with what is going on? To oversimplify things, there are 2 kind camps of therapy: passive ("how does this make you feel?") or active ("why don't you try X?"). Get several recs, call them and interview them by telling them briefly your sit and asking how they would deal with it. GL!!

brightning · August 2009

I don't have any experience, but it probably can't hurt to give it another try, right? And if that doesn't work, there's always exercise, yoga or whatever else works for you.

And you absolutely shouldn't feel guilty because you have so many positive things in your life. That kind of thinking really could drive someone to therapy!

Best of luck.

moroccojade · August 2009

Go, go, go.

I went when I was 12, 23-ish, 27, and 33.

I have nothing but good things to say. Made a *world* of difference. It was a good place to vent, and it was an *amazing* place to work through issues in concrete and effective ways, and yes, some shrinks give golden advice. The one I saw at 27 and just recently is incredible. The most impossible situations just melt away in a few sessions. She's a miracle worker. Some people drive 3 hours (one way) to see her.

Anyway, get referrals from friends. If you don't 'click' with someone, don't give up -- move on to someone else. It's just like finding a new hairdresser, you need to be 100% confident and comfortable.

It's nice to feel like you're really living rather than just merely existing.

Make an appointment (that's the hardest part!) Sending a hug your way.

brittneycc1982 · August 2009

You should absolutely go! You may not think you have that big of a problem, but it takes someone on the outside to tell you that you need to work on things... your OB, a therapist. Definitely go. You do not want to waste this prescious time of your DDs life being miserable, ya know? No one is perfect, but at least you can try.

You DO have to find someone you are comfortable with though.

katy75 · August 2009

I think you should absolutely go! I've been for myself and it helped me out tremendously. I would not be who I am now if it weren't for therapy.

A few people in my life (and very close to me) questioned my need for therapy. I eventually ended up telling them that "just because I wasn't bleeding and didn't have a broken bone, doesn't mean I'm not hurting". It was extremely helpful to talk to someone and not worry about being judged or them running off and telling everyone they knew. She SO helped me deal with some issues. I literally cried my last session with her when I had to move out of that town and leave her.

JulieAndBen gave some GREAT advice and I completely ditto her.

If the first person you talk to you are not comfortable with, it is perfectly ok to leave them and try someone knew. They key is to find someone that you are comfortable with and that works for you.

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